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Video Games Suck: FPS reviews

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Thief (2014)
FPS reviewsWell they did. They fucking ruined the Thief franchise worse than Deadly Shadows with this stupid fucking reboot for no reason. This game takes everything fun, exciting, interesting and unique about Thief and throws it out the fucking window for poor level design, terrible AI, shitty fucking characters, and a general blandness that will cause you to forget about this barbed club of a turd an hour after you play it. I like to call this game a BLD. That's Bacon, Lettuce and Diarrhea. Well click read more to learn just how bad these fucking cocksuckers ruined the Thief franchise and put it up there with failures such as Deus Ex: IW and Dragon Age 2.
Posted by suislide on Wednesday, February 26 @ 20:52:30 EST (2343 Views)
(Read More... | 11483 bytes more | 18 comments | Score: 4.8)
Battlefield 4
FPS reviewstrueboy012 writes "Yeah yeah, this review is late. But this game just became playable some days ago so shut the fuck up. This game brings back memories of BF2 (at least to me) and that deserves an applause. GG, DICE, don't listen to Electronic Aberrations. Never."
Posted by suislide on Tuesday, January 21 @ 22:28:15 EST (2210 Views)
(Read More... | 3354 bytes more | 6 comments | Score: 3.16)
Call of Duty: Ghosts
FPS reviewstrueboy012 writes "The review is finally here, motherfuckers! Click the "Read more" link so you can see how shitty this game is. Really. Specially the PC version. It's a FUCKING JOKE."
Posted by suislide on Monday, December 16 @ 22:12:08 EST (3533 Views)
(Read More... | 2604 bytes more | 21 comments | Score: 4.18)
Shadow Warrior
FPS reviewsFUCKING FINALLY. 2013 has been the year of replaying old games because there has but nothing but fucking SHIT this year. Seriously, with like two exceptions, there has been absolutely nothing to fucking play this year. 2013 is literally the worst year of video games that has ever existed and it is thanks to shithole companies like EA, Activision and Ubisoft. Anyways, the creators of Hard Reset came out with another game and its fucking awesome. While it is supposed to be a remake of Shadow Warrior, it is in a thematic sense, but it is more like a new painkiller. But who gives a fuck because the game is fun as fucking shit. Click the read more button so I can insult your intelligence with my lack of proofreading. Fuck the tea party.
Posted by suislide on Thursday, October 03 @ 20:16:46 EDT (4441 Views)
(Read More... | 5337 bytes more | 30 comments | Score: 3.37)
PAYDAY: The Heist
FPS reviewsthetallguy writes "So, this is a COOP game from 2011, but since half of these reviews are slow as fuck, I decided to come back and reveal yet another game from the dephts of the past years. Click that Read More button now, faggot."
Posted by suislide on Monday, September 16 @ 19:51:29 EDT (2897 Views)
(Read More... | 5311 bytes more | 10 comments | Score: 2)
Call of Jaurez: Gunslinger
FPS reviewsSo I thought this series was becoming irredemable crap after the last game. What the fuck was it called? Call of Jaurez: The Cartel? Holy fucks, what a shit pile of a game that absolutely NO ONE remembered. I didn't think they could even funding after the awfulness that was that game. Anyways, they brought Call of Jaurez back to what it should be which is a western shooter and damn if this game is pretty fucking fun. There is no cover system, no bullshit, just whatever weapons you choose to use and you blasting tons of people being a gunslinger. See what I did there? I might be the single most creative person on this planet.
Posted by Suislide on Tuesday, June 04 @ 20:26:35 EDT (2493 Views)
(Read More... | 4372 bytes more | 14 comments | Score: 4)
Metro: Last Light
FPS reviewsThe Russians are back with another gorgeous looking first person shooter with completely mediocre gameplay and story. The first Metro 2033 was a semi-survival horror game taking place in the subway system of Moscow and was infested by all sorts of beasts. Pretty much what most people remember about it was the fucking incredible graphics that the game had. This game is pretty much more of the same except is more of action game, less survival horror and has even better graphics. Click that fucking read more button dammit.
Posted by Suislide on Friday, May 24 @ 20:11:23 EDT (2413 Views)
(Read More... | 6922 bytes more | 4 comments | Score: 4.57)
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
FPS reviewsBlood Dragon is a standalone expansion for Far Cry 3 which basically makes the game an 80s retro-futuristic joke. It is pretty fucking hilarious and the characters and world are 100 times more interesting than the ones in Far Cry 3, except for maybe that Mexican guy you fight in that stupid dream sequence. Anyways, basically they gave Far Cry 3 a new skin, and while a great idea, reskinning something that is mediocre, still gives you something that is mediocre.
Posted by Suislide on Sunday, May 05 @ 12:53:58 EDT (2557 Views)
(Read More... | 3313 bytes more | 5 comments | Score: 3.2)
Bioshock: Infinite
FPS reviewsIrrational Games has released the next Bioshock title (they didn't release that sub-par mediocrity that was Bioshock 2) and well, I'm actually impressed. I went in expecting complete casual console Call of Duty bullshit and while there is a hint of that, the game as a whole is vastly satisfying, visually appealing and Elizabeth's face gives me a giant erection. I would like to stuff my cock between her tits in that dress and cum up her neck. But anyways, they did a pretty fucking good job with this game and it was quite enjoyable. Read on for details cocksuckers!
Posted by Suislide on Wednesday, April 03 @ 21:01:47 EDT (3831 Views)
(Read More... | 7948 bytes more | 25 comments | Score: 3.63)
Crysis 3
FPS reviewsHoly shit, I feel like its back in the old days when they pushed graphics and nothing fucking else about the game. Crysis is back, unfortunately, and what started out as an awesome game (Crysis 1) turned swiftly into a pile of garbage worse than the rotting corpses of the newton school children. Crysis 3 is basically Crysis 2 all over again, but this time with a fucking BOW...not just any fucking bow, but A NANOTECH MAXIMUM BOW. Anyways, EA and Crytek have officially put this franchise into the grave with another mediocre pile of garbage. Click the Read More button, you asshole.
Posted by Suislide on Thursday, March 07 @ 21:55:49 EST (3912 Views)
(Read More... | 5482 bytes more | 43 comments | Score: 4.1)
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Shittiest Game of 2013

Battlefield 4
Call of Duty: Ghosts
The Bureau: X-Com Declassified
Remember Me
Dead Space 3
Crysis 3
Aliens: Colonial Marines



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Old Articles
· Aliens: Colonial Marines
· Counter-Strike: Global Offensive
· Far Cry 3
· Painkiller: Hell and Damnation
· Call of Duty: Black Ops 2
· Halo 4
· Doom 3: BFG Edition
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