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 The ending of Bioware began with Dragon Age 2, which everyone was simply hoping was a fluke. NOT SO. That was just the beginning of the end, Star Wars: The Old Republic is the final blow that Bioware will recieve and hopefully it will be shitty enough to take down EA as well. They sunk a huge amount of money into this turd in hopes to be as successful as WoW thinking that the Star Wars franchise would be enough to keep them afloat. Unfortunately for them, people are tired of the same boring stale ass dick cheese that these companies have been deliverance. So read on about Star Wars: The Old Republic, and how it is the biggest failure since the Titanic!
| | | | | | | | So the next Elder Scrolls is out and considering the fuck up that was Oblivion (I hereby rescind my old review score and change it to a six, the game has to be the worst aging game in the history of games), Todd Howard comes back lying better than ever and releases the next Elder Scrolls game. I can say that it is a huge fucking improvement upon Oblivion from the graphics, animations, environments, city design, as well as quests. It, however, has some major problems too with balancing and RPG elements which, of course, Bethesda fucked up and now we have to wait for mods to fix the game again. It is a good game that is marred by some glaring flaws which could easily be fixed by PLAY TESTING THE FUCKING GAME FIRST. Anyways, read on, faggots.
| | | | | | | | The original Witcher came out 4 years ago and was amazing game once the Enhanced Edition was released. Fill with blood and guts, good stories, lots of swearing and dark themes, with some good ol boobies on top of that. You can't argue with tits, and if you do then you are probably a faggot. No mantitties here. This is fucking Dagon Gay 2: Fuck Dudes in Kirkwall made by Bioware. This is a manly game. Anyways, 4 years later (so you know they have a bitchin' huge development cycle) they release the sequel and deliver one of the best RPGs ever made to date. Geralt is back and he is stabbing bitches and Aarding them off buildings like never before. The only flaw I found with this game (besides the occasional bug) was that I wanted to play more once I was done. AND I FUCKING CAN? You know why? BITCHIN GOOD REPLAY VALUE IS WHY. Read on mother fuckers!
| | | | | | | | Dragon Age: Origins was one of the best games ever created with full-scale castles, awesome tactical combat, excellent dialog and some of the best writing seen in any video games. Beyond that it had memorable characters and was pretty much the best RPG ever created since Baldurs Gate II ( and was the actual spiritual successor). Bioware, instead of continuing this tradition decided to take A BIG FUCKING SHIT on everyone who enjoyed the original and instead created the game based upon the retard-infested Call of Duty market and alienated everyone who liked the original. In turn, you get a watered down, poorly written, uninteresting stinking shit fest which tests not only your patience but your ability not stomp on small animals until they are dead. Dragon Age 2 is not just a let-down because of its predecessor but it is an all around terrible fucking game even on it's own right.
| | | | | | | | God damn, I barely have time to write more of my fantastic reviews but I am doing my best here. Anyways, fuck you, I am not getting paid for this when I should be. So anyways, everyone remembers the absolute fucking TURD that Two Worlds was? It was basically like Oblivion if it was made a budget of 50 cents and a half eaten Arby's sandwich. Well they decided to make the sequel on 3 dollars, aka, slightly improved but still a big fucking turd of a video game. This game is meant to be a sequel but no one remembers the fucking story from the first game so they might as well just start everything fresh. Either way, here is Two Worlds II.
| | | | | | | | Fuck my tits until they bleed, this game is what Fallout 3 should have been and it may be Obsidian's first ever, good game. After a worrying time because I learned the game was made by people who fucking ruined KOTOR and made that turd fest Alpha Protocol, it all becomes clear that they abandoned that garbage to make this fucking awesome game. As far as I know, Obsidian actually has people in it from Black Isle who actually worked on the original Fallout games. There are a shit ton of references in the game and it is pretty much better in every aspect than Fallout 3.
| | | | | | | | Hooray! An expansion to the best fucking game of 2009 adding new missions, new story, new characters, higher level caps and items. The problem is though, they kind of fucked up this expansion a little bit due to some problems. Instead of the same guys who developed the original game I believe it was developed by a separate team. It's still a great Dragon Age experience but they fucked up some things that they shouldn't have done in this expansion pack. Also, it needed to be a lot longer and more detailed! The story in this game was incredibly lackluster to something as large and detailed as the original game. So here is my review of something to tide us over until Dragon Age 2 arrives!
| | | | | | | | This is the best fucking RPG since Baldur's Gate II and will rock your dick off. Bioware not only hit the nail on the head, they took a sledge hammer and smashed the fuck nail through my brain. They claimed this game to be the spiritual successor to Baldur's Gate and, unlike Bioshock, they weren't fucking kidding in the slightest. This game uses it's own world and system but has many similarities to Baldur's Gate. The game provides a shit ton of gameplay, fun as combat, great characters, voice acting and dialog, and best of all! A shit ton of blood. Bioware are by far, the kings of making RPGs because this game is a fucking masterpiece. If you don't buy this game today you are a fucking worthless scumbag who probably deserves to get shit in his mouth.
| | | | | | | | Gearbox decided to take a break from making the shit that is Brothers in Arms and decides to release a real game! Holy shit, it is fucking fun! The game is like a mix of Fallout 3 and Diablo and it fills my nutsack with glee. It is a FPS/RPG combo with 4 different classes to choose from and includes the ever necessary function of coop. So now I get to blow the shit out of people in a gory mess with my friends. Of course I have about five billion friends because they line up around the block to hang out with me. Only the people that pay the most get to even grace my presence. Hot Women get in for free though, and then I give them AIDS. Anyways, Gearbox hit the fucking nail on the head with this game.
| | | | | | | | I've never seen someone do this before. They take what starts as a decent game...infact more than half the game is decent..but in the last two acts of the game they FUCK IT UP SO BAD that the entire game isn't worth playing. So we have Risen, an action RPG set on a island with an oblivion-esque like environment. This really could have been a decent game, not the greatest but at least an eight out of ten...but lo-and-behold the dumbasses fucking ruined in the last 5 hours of the game. Just as a note to everyone, don't bother with this turd sammich.
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