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Star Wars: The Old Republic
Posted on Wednesday, January 18 @ 17:32:52 EST by Suislide
RPG ReviewsThe ending of Bioware began with Dragon Age 2, which everyone was simply hoping was a fluke. NOT SO. That was just the beginning of the end, Star Wars: The Old Republic is the final blow that Bioware will recieve and hopefully it will be shitty enough to take down EA as well. They sunk a huge amount of money into this turd in hopes to be as successful as WoW thinking that the Star Wars franchise would be enough to keep them afloat. Unfortunately for them, people are tired of the same boring stale ass dick cheese that these companies have been deliverance. So read on about Star Wars: The Old Republic, and how it is the biggest failure since the Titanic!

Let's just come out with it fucking straight up. This game is a WoW-Clone pure and fucking simple, and anyone who denies this is either a fucking idiot fanboy of Bioware, or has never played WoW. Everything in the game is the same as WoW from 2007/2008-era. The skills are nearly identical, combat is the same stupid right click and press a bunch of hot keys crap, all the dungeons are straight up tank and spanks, and pvp is the same valor crap that was in WoW ages ago. However, we are all supposed to be fucking impressed because they put a single player game into an MMORPG! The voice acting is the only fucking thing that Bioware was boasting about but it is fucking boring and pointless in this game filled with mediocre storylines that don't really cause you to even care about the narrative itself. Just look at this:


Intimidating Shout is now fucking Intimidating Roar? The only thing they fucking changed on the skills is the icon, even all the fucking cooldowns are exactly the same. They literally just had an employee play WoW and write down what all the skills do and then transferred them over. For spending nearly $500 million dollars (yeah that's right, $500 fucking million), this screams absolutely lazy to me. They couldn't even think of new skill names or actions for different classes to at least have tanks, healers and such be just SLIGHTLY different from WoW. Instead they just copied it Verbatim. Here is the fucking thing, people have already been playing WoW since 2004 dipshits, they don't want to play it SOME MORE but this time in space.

So moving beyond the shitty ass skills, classes, and combat all being identical to a previous MMORPG which I have already fucking mentioned 500 times now, we look at the graphics. They are fucking HIDEOUS. The worst fucking part is the game looked somewhat OK in the beta because they had high-resolution textures. However, to reduce the size of the game client from over 45-gigs, they took out all the high resolution texutres for the reason being "it might slow down some peoples computers." NO FUCKING SHIT ASSHOLES, that is why PCs have these things called GRAPHICAL options which you can fucking change if the game is running too slow. Now the High-Texture setting in the game does ABSOLUTELY nothing and the game is filled with just absolutely awful looking textures.

Not to mention, the art style is fucking TERRIBLE. Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to go with the little-childish cartoony look that the shitty ass television show on Cartoon Network has? No one likes it. It looks like it was something made for five-year olds and takes away any sort of the grittiness in the visuals that previous Star Wars video games have had. Just look at KOTOR or Jedi Knight 2, both of them look fairly good and have a fairly realistic Star Wars artistic style to them. This game looks like some kid ate a box of fucking fruity pebbles and then released a torrent of shit into his toilet. The worst part of the graphics too is the animations which are lackluster in every form.

The fact fucking is Bioware is a lazy ass developer who has stopped taking the time to craft their games and instead does whatever they can to rush the game out of the door. We saw this with Dragon Age 2 where they decided using the same three areas five hundred fucking times was supposed to create IMMERSIVE and interesting gameplay, when in fact it just bored everyone to fucking tears. They pull the same bullshit in this game by reusing the same model and animations for EVERYONE. The game only contains humanoid models with different skins for their heads and they all have the same animations. Where the fuck was this 500 million dollars going to? George Lucas' fat fucking pocket? Seriously, whoever thought this was a good idea should be shot in the face and put on display in public to realize what a terrible idea this is. We used to be able to play all sorts of different characters in Star Wars Galaxies. Bioware claimed that they didn't put Wookies in because it would be too difficult to animate. I am not even joking.

Basically so far we have established the gameplay is the same stale WoW-Formula which has been around forever. You have your tank classes (Jedi Knight/Sith Warrior), Healer (Jedi Counsular/Sith Inquistor, and then DPS. BORING. Everyone is tired of the same fucking tank and spank dungeons. So how about the most toted feature of this game, the voice acting, dialog and story? ITS BORING. I mainly played through trooper and Jedi Knight, and the voice acting is alright during the main story lines and works perfectly fine there to keep people interested. However, the dialog is complete cheese like a 13 year old boy wrote it saying "OH MAN, WOULDNT IT BE COOL IF THE TROOPERS WENT BAD?!" The story lines follow the same damn stale-ass Bioware formula we have seen five hundred times now. When are we going to get some fresh ideas and not the same ol "Oh man, you were betrayed, BIG SURPRISE, now lets work on various planets to get revenge!" It's BORING. Give me something original, dark and suspenseful like the original Star Wars movies were. Nothing ever seems perilous or dangerous in this game. So the voice acting for all the side quests is fucking POINTLESS. I don't need to hear a five minute exposition on why I need to go fetch XYZ for you. The voice acting, not a bad idea in practice and works ok for the main story parts but side quests? I'm just pressing the space bar to get through the painfully boring voice acting.

The Old Republic is a fucking single player game forced into an MMO world. They took 8 single player story lines, shoved them together as different classes and put them in an "open-world." I have open world in quotes because everything is fucking instanced to hell in this game due to the terrible Hero Engine. I don't know why the fuck Bioware chose to use this garbage engine for the game considering they didn't get a stable release version of it running until SEPTEMBER of 2011. That's right, 5 fucking years ago when Bioware started on this game, they basically have been using a broken version of a garbage engine that no one uses, but I digress. So the expecations set from having single player stories within the MMORPG world would lead you to believe that quests would be more like single player type quests that can be heavily story and dialog involved with multiple character paths. FUCKING NOPE! The game is a single player instanced story that basically gives you an excuse to do MMORPG quests. The quests are the same damn KILL TEN OF X, FETCH FIFTEEN OF Y crap that we have seen for years. Move along folks, nothing fucking innovative here! It is just a single player story tacked onto an MMORPG game that stole all of its elements from World of Warcraft. How fucking lazy Bioware.

Speaking of which, who thought it would be a good fucking idea to INSTANCE MAIN PLANETS. The population (which is already thinning out before the free month is up) is now split across five fucking instances of a planet. Which means, I am looking for a group, I join them, then instead of being into the flashpoint (Code for Dungeon) with them, I have to run all the way back to the main fucking area, teleport to the different instance of the planet and walk all the way back. WHO PUT THIS IN THE FUCKING GAME? FUCK YOU. It is the most awful "feature" in a game that I have ever seen as it eats up so much time just fucking wandering and travelling to get somewhere. Also, there is no LFG-system which has been in WoW for who knows how many fucking years now, instead you have to have to just spam the main chat like a hobo looking for people.

I guess the only thing left to talk about the PVP. With the latest patch, Bioware just fucking broke it all for the Republic! The republic has these turrets which are being destroyed by the Empire and re-spawning instantly which give a ton of valor each, so people on the Empire are now getting the best fucking PVP gear in a few hours when it is supposed to take 6months and upwards of PVPing. Not to mention, the skills are fucking broken in PVP. There is a .5-1.0 second delay on all the skills because the action or button doesn't actually do anything until the STUPID ASS ANIMATION FINISHES PLAYING! It makes PVP fucking clunky and impossible to play because all the skills take longer than the casting bar to actually complete. Another fucking fau paux from Bioware! So now PVP is permanently fucked in favor of the Empire due to the bug, and the animations are broken to begin with. BUT FEAR FUCKING NOT! You can just type dance and suddenly, you are taken out of combat and take no damage! Someone fucked the pooch in his rusty asshole on this game. WHERE DID THE HALF BILLION GO?

There is no endgame content in this game. There is like 4 dungeons and they already easy as shit and most people are farming them. GABRAGE.

1/10



All images credit goes to Anon.
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Star Wars: The Old Republic

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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 1)
by Mr-Fly on Wednesday, January 18 @ 23:28:21 EST
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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 1)
by craterface on Thursday, January 19 @ 15:53:16 EST
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Thank you for the detailed info. I deeply despise it when somebody stole exact ideas and concepts and this one is just bloodboiling. The WoW - OR skill comparing pictures really shows it, good job.
I don't particularily like MMO-s, single player games features bettergraphics, good story, interesting characters, believable world, high variety of quests and much-much more than bland MMO-s in every way.
The only good thing about these games is PVP. And because of this, Lineage 2 was the only game that featured the best in this area. It's sad the new development team fucked that up too, so as I heard.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 1)
by Ape_Shall_Never_Kill_Ape (i_raped_your_grandma_in_her_coffin@msn.com) on Saturday, January 21 @ 01:52:10 EST
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Still waiting for KOTOR 3.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 1)
by Dreamcaseal on Friday, February 10 @ 15:36:55 EST
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Sadl,y I had no interest in this game at all and after looking at this article (glanced at the pictures) I think I may see if they have a trial and play it 'cause I didn't play wow and I'm bored.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, March 05 @ 13:14:08 EST
Good review overall, but I thought I'd point out that calling Star Wars movies "original" is pretty much wrong. Lucas stuck to a tried-and-true formula that had been used since Greek times, more or less (probably because people around him at the time were smart enough to tell him stepping outside the formula and implementing his crazy ideas would be ruinous). However, he took Picasso's line to heart: good artists copy; great artists steal. He took the formula and made it his own and ended up with a masterpiece, despite his best intentions.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, March 06 @ 17:38:26 EST
Wow bud, there is way too much hate in you. Anyway, i'm not really interested in refuting some of your arguments. YES you're right there are tons of similarities between TOR and WoW, yeap, BUT why the heck does it bother you that much that we fanboys finally have this game for our own taste? is TOR gonna kill WoW? hell no, and i really dont want it, having tons of good mmorpgs around will make the companies take an extra effort to earn our $$$.
To each their own. I love TOR and i wont be going back to WoW.
I believe that in a few months a good bunch of bugs will be fixed and we will have new content.
Just a recommendation to the OP, if you just had used a proper language your arguments wouldn't soon like a nerd rage, and more peeps will gladly take your opinion in consideration.
Piece, i'm out for good, have a nice life.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Friday, March 09 @ 10:38:55 EST
About your comparison with wow: ALL MMORPGs have same or really similiar skills, roles and etc. Even single player RPGs have them, and that's because they lutely necessary to do anythig.

And WoW is not first MMORPG that used them(EQ,UO...), so WoW copied them to.

In same way you can say that porshe copied vw beatle(or any other car) when they build 911. They both have 4 wheels, steering wheel, breaks and etc. They could be more constructive and made square wheels, or add 4 more, but then lose usability.

It same for skills and abilites in every (MMO)RPG.

Some of your other points are good, but all that don't mean that this game is crap. Sure, there is a lot of bugs, but they are not game breaking and bioware continuously fix them.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 1)
by Jazzinho on Sunday, March 11 @ 06:44:10 EDT
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There wasn't a thing I disagreed with in this review this is big steamy expensive pile of shit. If all I wanted to do is grid I'd buy a winmill and make a fuckin living of it. Bioware=CUNTS


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, April 16 @ 07:13:49 EDT
No, and I'm tired of reading this from stupid kids who can't realize WoW is just a beast that fed off Ultima Online, Everquest, Star Wars Galaxies, etc. WoW didn't do it the best, they just borrowed and made it less obvious, unlike Rift. The comparisons to WoW either show ignorance, young age, or both. It also created brogamers with a constant propensity for whining out of their asses. Come on people, do some research, use a little common sense, and grow the F#@& up!


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Saturday, May 19 @ 01:07:38 EDT
I actually like the game.
WAAAAAAAAH I'M A FANBOI!!1!
No, you lack credibility because of you don't know jacks**t about crap and don't know how to handle a review like an adult. The game is bad? Say it's bad? Is it really bad? Yell a little on how it really bad. But this is like a hormonal thirteen year old wrote it. Waaah! Graphics suck (Yet people ADORE f*cking Minecraft, what the hell?). You lack the retention to enjoy a good story (Of all the things you criticize in this game, you f*cking criticize story?) and please define to me what GOOD voice acting is if it is not good in SWTOR? And how far did you get in the story? Did you finish a WHOLE TWO PLANETS? That must prove everything! You then whine about PvP (your point about combat delay was legit) in which you say the other side is OP in some way, even though a previous criticizm was that the classes were all mirrored. And you cannot blame an MMORPG for being based on the fundamentals of...MMORPG's. FPS have not changed, sidescrollers have not changed, this is because they are classified in genre. Also, you cannot say an art style is terrible in a legit review, state on how well executed said stlye was. You complaint on phasing was legit. Then you say, WoW has had the LFG for how long. Oh...I would say around FIVE TO SIX YEARS IN DUMBASS. And by the time you reviewed this, it had eight endgame instances, a couple of heroics, two sets of daily missions and two operations in three modes, and they have since then added more, thus proving this simple fact. GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT BEFORE YOU MAKE A REVIEW.
P.S.- 100 million to 200 million was spent on this game, mostly on the quantity of voiceover. You really believed it was half a billion? Your f*cking nuts.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Friday, June 08 @ 22:30:24 EDT
Hey dude, bioware feels sorry if feel like not wiling to play a awsome game assholes like you makes games like wow lives for ever. We finally have a game that offers us more then just slashing then you go on bithching on roles? Hey idiot wake up! its a mmo and all mmo has a role for dungons! You wank about the storys! Storys in this game goes beyond your stupid gay fague world of warcraft wish reminds of a failure it has become! i meen you rather plat kung-fu panda with nothing more then just hack and slash? go a head but comme talking stuff you dont even understand.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, June 11 @ 11:42:54 EDT
you have been misinformed, who told you that half a billion went into this game, lol cause thats a flat out lie, and your just an angry tool, wow wasn't the first game to ever have questing elements, swtor is a fun game and your just angry for no reason, fucking shit review.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Thursday, June 28 @ 05:00:05 EDT
I wish I'd have read more reviews such as this one before buying that stupid game. I want a refund..


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 24 @ 03:18:37 EDT
I don't think you've taken into account that there might be some KOTOR fans who have never played an mmo before playing this. I'm not saying the game doesn't have some serious faults (lack of lfg system for one,) but someone who hasn't played WoW isn't really going to notice that. Whether or not the game can truly compete with other newer mmo's like Rift is up to Bioware.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Wednesday, July 25 @ 03:04:20 EDT
Let's hope GW2 is a success


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Saturday, August 25 @ 23:42:25 EDT
Fucking.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Thursday, January 31 @ 22:12:26 EST
Heyas, WoW fan-boy, WoW is an Everquest-clone, plain and simple; ya just get to use cartoons instead of better graphics so the young 6 year-old players are entertained by the funny looking cartoons and pandas. As for the "mediocre" class story lines, how are ya making out in WoW with THOSE class stor...... oh wait a minute there AREN'T any. As for bitching the statistic names, WoW used almost all of Dungeons and Dragons' stat format, which in turn was used years before WoW in Everquest - pretty lazy, huh?
On to graphics - WoW's a cartoon.....there ARE no graphics at ALL Wow players shoot 1 round every oh 5 or so secs, I can see all 300 RPM I can fire as a sniper using spraying. Swords glow in SWTOR oh and they have SOUND too! WoW has....swords that...swing...ok...and..........nothing. As for wookies not in game...better look again, it's a fully-animated companion. And yes, from day 1. BTW, LFG system's been in the game for over 6 mos....you SURE you researched this critique?


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 1)
by mos on Monday, May 20 @ 01:23:17 EDT
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I needed a replacement for wow and i was a huge kotor fan such a tragedy how this game turned out. They copied wow too much and made some epic failures from the get go


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, August 20 @ 05:38:55 EDT
I agree with the op nerd. First time I tired this game (f2p) ofc. I thought WoW instantly. The engine sucks, the graphics suck, lots of bugs etc... its a ehhh game. Good for a try if free, do not subscribe no matter how many times the game asks you, and it will ask MANY times!!!.


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Thursday, March 06 @ 04:22:55 EST
This review was brilliant.
i played through as Sith Marauder. and then as jedi..
immediately canceled subscription as I had come to the same conclusions you did.. except the game seems even worse..
the Cartel Market seems to be where anything worth getting is. so you cant even earn it.. you have to BUY it.. using coins you get with real money. and litteraly EVERYTHING down to all the color dyes must be bought with coins/money/$$$
this game is WAAAY bad.. i enjoyed WoW atleast and played 5 years of it. THIS GAME DIDNT ENTERTAIN ME FOR MORE then half a month


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Wednesday, October 08 @ 12:25:28 EDT
I miss SWG


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Re: Star Wars: The Old Republic (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, December 02 @ 06:20:35 EST
i tried free to play version AND.. is a shit, i try to give 5 bucks for preferred same shit... if you dont buy a sub the game is nearly unplayable, and for unlock everything as preferred account you should sell your granmom to black market of organs! Is fucking unbelieveble how this shitty game clone also have so greedy motherfuckers on management.
p.s btw after 3 days i quitted also because server are totally empty or most of them max 20 person for istance including the bots i think.
Absolutely the shittiest mmo i ever saw in my entire life.


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