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Video Games Suck: Action Game Reviews

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Watch Dogs
Action Game ReviewsUbisoft does it once again and decides to bombard us with another fucking terrible video game. They basically took Assassin's Creed and set it in the most inaccurate version of Chicago that I have ever seen. Not to mention, the game has uPlay which simply the worst fucking software on this planet. If there was a software version of AIDS, it would be called uPlay. Anyways, click the read more button so that we can get straight to the fucking bullshit that is this game. And if you are wondering why I haven't written a review in awhile, it's because I'm fucking busy. I'm an adult now and shit, why the fuck don't more people help contribute articles? Lazy fucking assholes!
Posted by Suislide on Monday, August 11 @ 20:01:06 EDT (17694 Views)
(Read More... | 4609 bytes more | 21 comments | Score: 4.5)
Max Payne (mobile)
Action Game ReviewsDerFuehrer writes ""They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation point to everything that had lead to this point. I released the trigger. And then it was over.." as Max Payne classically begins..."
Posted by Suislide on Monday, August 11 @ 19:39:29 EDT (14144 Views)
(Read More... | 3896 bytes more | 2 comments | Score: 3.66)
Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
Action Game ReviewsWell Ubisoft does it once again! They have made another incredibly fucking boring game which is just a rehash of the same shit that has happened fifty fucking times before it. I mean this game is even painful for me to talk about so much so that I had to snort cocaine just to stay awake to write it. It's barely working. So AssCreed, which is another yearly franchise like of Call of Dogshit, comes out with a sequel where you play a pirate but he does some assassin stuff and none of it really matters. Anyways, just click the read more, there isn't shit to say about this game really but I'll do my best.
Posted by suislide on Wednesday, December 11 @ 21:04:04 EST (14400 Views)
(Read More... | 4835 bytes more | 22 comments | Score: 3.33)
Batman: Arkham Origins
Action Game ReviewsI fucking loved Arkham Aslyum and Arkham City as they were fucking awesome games with the sequel vastly improving on the previous. Also, the games were fairly popular and sold pretty well, which means that the studio now has to make a cheap fucking cash-in to maximize their profits and sacrafice the quality damaging the franchise forever. First of all, bad sign to begin with when this is a completely different story than the original creators and even worse now is that is that game is a prequel. Can people stop making prequels, they rarely even fucking work. Anyways, here is my review of Arkham Origins, I hope you enjoy it, ~uguu.
Posted by suislide on Thursday, November 07 @ 20:41:13 EST (14507 Views)
(Read More... | 6314 bytes more | 23 comments | Score: 3.2)
The Last of Us
Action Game Reviewszachofat writes "Alright so even though I said I wasn't going to review this game I changed my mind becuz im liek so randum lol and I decided I would review it. This game got a shit load of good reviews when it came out but most of them didn't point out ANY flaws in the game and just went on and on about all this philosophical bullshit without addressing anything important like, you know, THE MOTHERFUCKING GAMEPLAY. Anyway the game is quite good but NOT a 10 out of 10. Read on motherfucker!"
Posted by suislide on Tuesday, October 01 @ 22:49:26 EDT (13032 Views)
(Read More... | 5924 bytes more | 13 comments | Score: 3)
Saints Row IV
Action Game ReviewsThis game just feels like a fucking expansion pack, not a full game. So Saints Row IV is the sequel to the previous title but it really just seems like a really big expansion pack and not a full game. Saints Row is just a GTA clone that doesn't take itself seriously at all and is full of shitty cliches and such. They all pretty much have the same objective which is take over the city and this one is pretty much more of the same. Well, it's kind of fun, but it's not as good as Sleeping Dogs. Anyways, read my fucking review.
Posted by suislide on Monday, September 16 @ 20:42:19 EDT (11778 Views)
(Read More... | 3898 bytes more | 15 comments | Score: 3.75)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
Action Game ReviewsI don't even know that this piece of shit existed until someone gifted it to me on Steam. This is simply one of the worst fucking games I have ever played. Why even bother making this game with the shoestring budget that it had? There is only one explanation for this cumstain and that they thought they could develop a low budget diarrhea pile and then simply use the TMNT name to make a quickbuck off of idiots who thought it might have been cool. Read more if you want to learn about the video game equivalent of putting super glue in your cock.
Posted by suislide on Friday, September 06 @ 19:50:00 EDT (5683 Views)
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The Bureau: X-Com Declassified
Action Game ReviewsFrom the first moment that this game was shown, everyone on the planet knew it was going to be a diarrhea sandwich covered in semen. Now that it is actually released...everyone was 100% fucking correct. This game was originally supposed to be a first person shooter set in the 1950s, but they decided that being a FPS wasn't generic enough, so they changed it to a fucking third person cover shooter. There are definitely not enough third person cover shooters on the market that all provide the same fucking boring gameplay, so lets take a cool early franchise and make another cover shooter. What a bunch of fucking shit. I hope the company that made this game goes out of business as they are fucking useless.
Posted by suislide on Monday, September 02 @ 10:49:51 EDT (5220 Views)
(Read More... | 4389 bytes more | 13 comments | Score: 3)
Resident Evil 4
Action Game Reviewszachofat writes "Holy fucking fuck, 9 years later and this game still kicks ass. This game was my favorite game of all time back on the gamecube and I saw the HD version was discounted on the PS (Piece of Shit) store so I bought it immediately. The HD version came out a while ago but I finally got around to playing it and holy fuck it's still fucking good. I don't care if this game is old it's better than any game to date."
Posted by Suislide on Monday, August 05 @ 20:01:13 EDT (5991 Views)
(Read More... | 5215 bytes more | 18 comments | Score: 3.42)
Action Game ReviewsSomeone, somewhere decided to make a Deadpool video game and I'm not sure why. I don't know fucking shit about Deadpool and I think most superheroes and x-men are fucking gay beyond belief. The only thing I remember of Deadpool is his shitty portrayal by Ryan Reynolds in that fucking X-Men Wolverine movie. Who the fuck keeps casting that retard in their movies? He is the worst fucking actor ever. Anyways, this is deadpool the video game which is a decent action beat' em up but doesn't really do much special except for being fucking bizarre.
Posted by Suislide on Wednesday, July 10 @ 20:25:40 EDT (5415 Views)
(Read More... | 3818 bytes more | 24 comments | Score: 4)
Would you fuck Zelda Williams now that Robin Williams is dead?

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