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Video Games Suck: Action Game Reviews

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GTA: Vice City Stories PSP
Action Game ReviewsChaos_Engine writes "Bag of wanked on, blood riddled shite!

I have only owned a PSP for 3 months, & it has not been a happy venture. Starting off with the shit Transformers & Driver '76, I had hoped some old school motherfuckin' GTA wold bring it home. It did, & stuffed it in my ass."
Posted by Suislide on Tuesday, April 01 @ 15:10:53 EDT (420 Views)
(Read More... | 1750 bytes more | 1 comment | Score: 1.06)
Warriors Orochi
Action Game ReviewsOk first of all, anyone who thought making a clone of dynasty warriors should be stabbed in the fucking face. Second of all, who the hell would think that dynasty warriors is such a good game that it needs a clone? Dynasty Warriors sucks ass, and guess what, so does this piece of shit. Its not even a game, its something to wipe my shit on. Not to mention, it has the worst port for the PC known in the existence of man.
Posted by Suislide on Monday, March 31 @ 21:37:33 EDT (294 Views)
(Read More... | 3289 bytes more | comments? | Score: 4.94)
Kane & Lynch: Dead Men + Gamespot sucks cock
Action Game ReviewsSo this game comes out and its such a fucking pile of dog shit. I've never played such an awful piece of crap in my life before. It's so bad its like getting fucked in the ass by a horse. It is like punching my ballsack. It is like someone cramming an icepick into my eye. Eidos fucks up again and releases another pile of shit.

The big news about this game is that Gamespot proves what a fucking pile of shit they are. They fired a guy because he gave the a 6.0/10 because there were ads for this fucking piece of shit all over their poorly designed webpage. Well that guy was even being generous by giving this game a 6.0/10 because it fucking sucks. Oh yeah Gamespot wont admit why they fired the guy because they are the worst website on the planet. If there is anyone who actually believes that Gamespot did it out of some other reason then you are a fucking moron. In fact you are probably a fucking moron if you visit Gamespot. It shall henceforth be named as Fagspot because everyone at that site fucks each other in the ass. No lube.

Posted by Suislide on Friday, December 07 @ 12:55:19 EST (1421 Views)
(Read More... | 5109 bytes more | 7 comments | Score: 4.65)
Gears of War
Action Game ReviewsYou think a game worthy of having a Megadeth song named after it could at least be a bit longer. Well Gears of War comes out for the PC and it kicks ass. However, they should call it Gears of Very Brief War because its fucking short.
Posted by Suislide on Sunday, November 11 @ 02:00:52 EST (1283 Views)
(Read More... | 5929 bytes more | 3 comments | Score: 4.62)
Obscure II
Action Game ReviewsI had to put this game under action because this is no category for THE WORST FUCKING GAME EVER MADE. You can play the game with one or two people..so my friend joined my in this adventure of massive fucking elephant shit. Its a survival-horror type game with a twist.... the twist is it sucks fucking rhinoceros ball sack. I rather masturbate with razorblades are my cock while watching 2Girls1Cup.
Posted by Suislide on Monday, October 08 @ 17:30:31 EDT (877 Views)
(Read More... | 4596 bytes more | 9 comments | Score: 4.85)
Stranglehold
Action Game ReviewsHoly shit. Now I love the movie hard-boiled so you could only imagine my excitement to find out they were making a game based on it. Then I forgot how fucking bad games based on movies ALWAYS are. John Woo, why did you deliver this game? Its no different then sending everyone who bought the game aids.
Posted by Suislide on Wednesday, September 26 @ 14:44:09 EDT (893 Views)
(Read More... | 4069 bytes more | 2 comments | Score: 4.96)
Tomb Raider: Anniversary
Action Game ReviewsSo they decided to remake the first Tomb Raider game because the idiots cant make a fucking decent one for the life of them. So by remaking the original they actually made a pretty decent game but thats only because the ideas and levels were all ready there...either way this game is pretty damn good.
Posted by Suislide on Wednesday, June 06 @ 12:18:48 EDT (1508 Views)
(Read More... | 4972 bytes more | 2 comments | Score: 1.83)
Pirates: Legend of the Black Buccaneer
Action Game ReviewsHoly shit...You know a game is bad when you are installing it and it requires Microsoft .Net V1.1. I should have stopped installing right then and pissed on the disc but I didn't.... I pushed on...and what the fuck was I thinking. This is the worst console port of the most terrible game ever...I hope my HIV kicks in a bit sooner because this game has just ruined life for me.
Posted by Suislide on Saturday, May 19 @ 15:51:40 EDT (1233 Views)
(Read More... | 3243 bytes more | 7 comments | Score: 3.55)
AdventureQuest
Action Game ReviewsD writes "A flash based browser game that constantly tries to fleece you for money, has moronic gameplay, terrible graphics, and no redeeming niche values whatsoever. Sign me up!

Also, writing a review for this game is like watching a train full of lemurs crash into a short bus that's packed with sumo wrestling midgets. You know it's wrong, but you just have to do it."
Posted by Suislide on Saturday, May 12 @ 13:53:46 EDT (1096 Views)
(Read More... | 5416 bytes more | 2 comments | Score: 4.11)
Infernal
Action Game ReviewsThis game sucks so hard it swallows a bukkake load of cum. From horses. So Playlogic comes out with some third person shooter except you get DEMON POWERS. Thank god they are so original.... only problem is playing this game is almost like someone is holding you down while dropping a fat load of diarrhea into your mouth.
Posted by Suislide on Wednesday, March 14 @ 11:54:26 EDT (1621 Views)
(Read More... | 5390 bytes more | comments? | Score: 3.87)
Survey
Rambo

is the best fucking movie ever
Made my balls bigger
Made me grow more chest hair
kicks fucking ass



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