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Soldier Front
Posted on Sunday, April 15 @ 16:25:42 EDT by Suislide
FPS reviewsAvis writes "As Xfire has been promoting the worst games developed in the past 200 years, strictly chosen by the transexual faggots working there, one game stands out. Where War Rock and GUNZ already suck fat dicks, "Soldier Front" requires a new definition of how retarded something can be.

"Soldier Front" is a Korean FPS... Well, actually that could be the whole article, but Soldier Front is more likely the reason to invent something past the superlative of "bad", since this game is the most unpleasant gay assrape-experience you will ever get to know and honestly, it's even worse than GUNZ. This is no exaggeration.

Gameplay

The main goal of this waste of harddisk-capacity is to draw pictures with bullet holes into walls and to kill the opposing force. At the beginning each team of 12-years-olds runs towards the middle of the map, which is either as big as a table-surface OR half of a dressing cabinet and every fucktard will throw his happy-stun-flash-grenades in a random direction and then either run back to the base or climb onto a roof. Then he will take out his sniper-rifle, which is the cheapest weapon in the game, not only at the price, but also to kill with: Just "aim" at someone and shoot the 8.1 kgs heavy rifle while running, masturbating and having a seizure simultaniously and it will 100%ly result in a headshot, which won't be registered by the netcode. The arsenal is the most unbalanced in history: You can buy a G36C with tons of recoil, weak bullets, low rate of fire and bad accuracy OR you can buy an M4 with perfect accuracy incredible power, the recoil caused by a fart of a flea, divided by 1024 and a firing rate like a minigun, for slightly more cash ($1 or $2). It's just unbelievable how much effort the 5 year old programming-slaves put into this game to make it so fucking gay and unplayable. One of the unique features appears to be the randomly occuring hyperspace-portal-effect, caused by 4th-dimensional curvatures, also called "Lag". If this happens, EVERY 12 year old faggot playing, will either write "lagg", "lag", "laaaag" or "fukcing hacker!!" and you will enter the space between nothing and nothing, the "hyperspace". In this area, everything is black and if you go further you will re-enter the map.

Graphics
The game is advertised as a "Next-Gen FPS". If you see the graphics you will most probably die from advanced brain-cancer. Starfox for the SNES had more polygons than Soldier Front and the textures are like 16x16 pixels of Brown and Yellow mixed together with the spraying can tool in MS Paint, stretched over a 50x200 meter surface which could represent a concrete wall or some shit. The weapons consist out of some singlecolored polys with sprites attached to them, I'm still not sure what it should be. The playermodels look like some assslaves who have a motion which looks like suffering from seizure, reversed and accelerated by 16 times.

Sound

Every airsoft-rifle sounds like it's real representative's firing sound, only deleted and replaced with a random poop-drop-sound with sampling rates far below technical possibilities of 1972. The ass-slave-terrorists and anus-expanded-special-forces yell "Fire in my hole", which expresses their pain in the arse. This painful screams seem to be recorded by the programmers' first anal fisting orgies.

Netcode

The netcode is designed to provide perfect latencies to everyone except you. You can own a 16Mbit/s-connection and you will still have a ping ranging from 520 to 89140. You will never ever cause any damage points, regardless which weapon you use, because this game seems to download child porn, spammails and McDonalds-newsletter-PDFs everytime you play, accurately calculated together to fuck up your ping.

Score

This game is a Korean FPS with MMO-features which has an uncountable amount of bugs and visuals which will definitely splatter your eyes all over the desk

0/10"
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The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

Re: Soldier Front (Score: 1)
by vassili on Wednesday, April 25 @ 13:17:22 EDT
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yes this game does suck major dong good and funny review!


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Re: Soldier Front (Score: 1)
by jetbot33 on Thursday, October 04 @ 00:07:52 EDT
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0/10 u mean -9999999999999999999999/10


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