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Gunz Online
Posted on Monday, September 12 @ 07:44:01 EDT by Suislide
Action Game ReviewsD writes "The Koreans design another MMO game that's got the masochist, child molester and animal rapist market pinned down perfectly. Oh, and it sucks, if you got any other sort of idea.

Gunz online is a 'unique' game - unique in that it excels in sucking in so many ways that it redefines the genre of "shit game" in a way that not even Valu-Soft could improve on. It's literally so terrible that I'm becoming glad that independant game development is more and more impossible by the month, if only to save us from peices of shit like this.

Graphics: The graphics are like this: The developer of the game must of stolen a bunch of tibetian children, then beaten them half to death with a crowbar before sticking them in front of a 386 with a screen that randomly turns itself on and off which has a beta version of MSPaint, and then dumping a full-face motorcycle helmet with a opaque visor on the kids' head - WHICH IS FILLED WITH BEES. The graphics look pre-wolfenstein 3D - hell, pre-asteroids even. It's like this game fell out of the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down, then fell into a bucket of ugly soup.

Sound: The sound in Gunz, like the rest of the game, is total shit. The guns themselves sound like they recorded the sounds of cracking popcorn then removed all the bass from it, and I think the music was comprised by taking samples from atari games and then combining them with the sounds of screaming six-year old thaiwanese girls.

Gameplay: Like nearly every other modern shooting game, the whole game purely revolves around luck with no elements of skill whatsoever. And when you're selecting a gun, you'd best choose SMGs or you can expect to spend the next 15 years trying to kill someone with 1 health and failing.

While most luck-based games are known to be shitty, Gunz Online is notably shitty, not helped by it's other problems.

For example, the netcode is so fucking terrible that it's hard to explain it in words. I have NEVER seen such a bad netcode in my life, and it's even worse because this peice of shit game is multiplayer only.

For some reason, they decided to make the game work clientside, meaning that if someone's lagged, you'll sure as hell know about it when they're clipping through walls and teleporting all over the fucking place. Assuming you even find a server in which all the players there ping less than 200 to you (if they have more than 200 ping they're invulnerable to you, but most of the time you aren't to them), chances are you'll be able to corner a player and unload all your SMG mags on them without them dying, and then they'll just knife you because your 180 9mm bullets to the head were getting annoying. Projectiles like grenades and rockets sometimes just magically dissapear, and if someone's moving, don't even fucking bother - you will NEVER hit them, even if they're moving straight towards you.

Then, when you thought gunz couldn't get anymore fucking worse, there's new innovations of shittyness. For example, the melee weapons are absolutely fucking hopeless unless you're using their knockdown attack, in which case your opponent is pretty much fucked unless he's able to hit spacebar about a trillion times. And that assumes you actually fucking 'hit' him - 9/10 times you knockdown somebody, the server will simply just not bother to register your hit at all.

Story: Like with all MMO games, there's no fucking story at all. I guess it's just shit stolen from gay-ass anime shit like Dragonball Z, so these morons are fighting for ways to "increase their power". Too bad nobody tells them that no matter how much power they get, they'll never be powerful enough to end up in a decent fucking game.

Score: I was thinking of 0/10, but that was too nice to this game. So I give it -7/10, with an added -120 for being a fucking MMO game.

"
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Gunz Online

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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Ny24 on Wednesday, September 14 @ 11:35:56 EDT
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LOOOL, this is a fucking nice review. Gratz


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Mean_MOFO on Wednesday, September 14 @ 19:48:26 EDT
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It's pretty shitty to diss a fucking freeware game. But then again, you're all fucking shitfaced. Wipe it on your cheeks asshole.
As long as you all praise the fucking Half Baked and watch green goblins fuck your sisters and mothers, you'll be happy as a fucking pig in a shitter, which you truly are.


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by kjaskar on Thursday, September 15 @ 05:46:07 EDT
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u're calling me a gay anime fan coz i n'joy waching DBZ??? of all the ppl, it had 2 be u, a father fucker/sister rapist...

In rest, g00d review, za game trully deserves it... glad i didn't pay 4 it :D


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Friday, September 16 @ 03:59:17 EDT
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HAWHAWHAW I SHAT MY PANTS 3 TIMES WHILE READING THIS REVIEW!!! THE NURSES WONT LET ME USE THE INTERNAT ANYMORE!!!!! *dies*


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Blisaed on Sunday, October 30 @ 07:42:53 EST
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I really love this article. As true as most of these things are, I still cant stop playing this so-called shitty game you guys reviewed. It's more addicting then crack, and I mean i've done alot of crack in my lifetime to know hahaha. The fact of the matter is this game is still in beta form, many hope for improvement and I think many will be disapointed. Considering that the game is P2P based, they are pretty much saying FUCK everyone who wants to play a game that isnt based on luck. My point being LAN based..Nevertheless, I will continue to rape little overseas players with my luck tactics and enjoy there defeat. End of story. :P


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Hymn on Monday, November 14 @ 13:02:10 EST
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I found that alot of this articles "facts" are overly exaggerated for humor. While usually I would approve of such bantor, I love this game too much to allow it.

Graphics: I agree, to an extent. They are more like a good version of counterstrike or a bad version of CS:S.

Sound: You forgot to mention the beautiful yet monotinous soundtrack they included with the game. For any free game, your lucky to get more then a minor techno-beat, but in this game they have a complete 12 song sound track. Gun shots and sword slashes are monotinous, but so was counterstrike... and halo...

Gameplay: Some how I dont think you made it passed the third level with the review you gave on gameplay. There are exploits in the game that make it so much more enjoyable because they are hard to pull off, and so successful when you do it right. "SMGS" are hardly the end all weapon of the game, expecially when your opponent is moving faster then you can point at them. The most enjoyable part of the game as far as ive played is that there is an endless variety of advanced moves that go above the games code, and each and every one of them is easy to learn, but hard to master.

The netcode... ah yes, the dreaded netcode. In korean gunz, MAIET(the producer) did not have to worry about hackers. Why? Every player on kGunZ(Korean gunz) had to submit thier KSSN to play the game. Obviously if some one hacked, they would be hunted down by the police. In the international edition though, no information is legally binding.

Story: IF you took the time to read the website, you would know there is a general story. The story doesnt even show in the game as it is an FPS. Just like CS or CS:S, fpss don't need any story to play, its just a game.

You also assumed this game was an MMO, which actually its more like Diablo or CS with games instead of everyone playing at once. If your going to write a review, LEARN THE TERMINOLOGY.


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Talonboy93 on Thursday, March 30 @ 18:14:41 EST
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For 1 if u actually could read when u downloaded, it said BETA edition fucktard. International BETA edition and its gonna be out with the real version which include quests and a hell of a lot more weapons. Hopefully the graphics will get better. But these fucking jack asses said that they gonna let people buy freaking weapons by credit card. I can imagine a friggin lvl 1 with high lvl weapons just cus he can afford it


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Zephiron on Wednesday, June 07 @ 17:55:52 EDT
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Heh dude, did you even play the game? If you bothered to get to around level 20, you would've realised that SMGs are NOT the best weapons and that the best weapons are most likely shotguns. You've totally missed K-Style moves, which were unintended but are what seperates the game from other shooters. God, I can't stand when people talk shit about something they haven't even played.


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by purplg on Wednesday, July 12 @ 20:26:46 EDT
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Actually just about all MMO games have a story, you were just trying to make up shit about this game so that it sounds bad. Everything you said on there was a lie besides the netcode. Yes it sucks but it doesnt happen to often, unless you have shitty internet.
and about the jumping around part, that was probably a hacker. Gunz online has been doing a shitty job trying to get rid of them and their kicking system sucks.

I have good and bad points to this game but overall it makes an awesome game. I mean once u actually play it..


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by SirNuX on Friday, August 25 @ 05:19:12 EDT
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I have played this game, After this revieuw I still will. The only reason I play it is to laugh at those newbie's who'r stunned by my hacks...
I don't care if I get bannede or deleted, This game sux way too hard to play it seriously.

"And that assumes you actually fucking 'hit' him - 9/10 times you knockdown somebody" That's s fucking true, I smash the bastart like million times with the so called "Power Smash" And he doesn't even move a fucking muscle!

This game sux unless you hack yourself, Than you can lol at others.
Rating: 2/10, 1 for the fun and the second for the hacking


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Tophat on Sunday, November 19 @ 15:37:39 EST
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It's pretty obvious that you basically trashed this game (and other games) for the sole point of being funny, but I've played this game for a while (I won't specify how long because, judging from your responses to other comments, I can bet you'd be all too willing to leave a response just jabbing at the amount of time I've wasted in it, without saying anything else) and I'm sure that someone will read this without considering the final goal of being funny.

Firstly, there is an options menu. You seem to know a lot about videogames, you should be aware of this! You can turn up the video quality in the options menu, and then, while not Counterstrike Source quality, it's certainly not an eyesore. Haha pre-wolfenstein. You're witty!

The game actually has a pretty good score considering it's a free game, but sadly there is no vocal work, so no "six-year old thaiwanese girls." It gets pretty monotonous after a while, but it's a lot better than most games. All the guns have different sounds, yet again, sadly, none actually sound like popcorn, and I can vouche that the sounds are quiet different if you turn off your subwoofer. You must just be lacking any bass audio for your computer.. that popping might be your cables wearing thin from you gnawing on them?

You must have an atrocious internet connection if you have trouble finding ping under 200. Are you using dialup? I'd like to think such an educated reviewer of games would know better than to play a strictly-online-multiplayer game with dialup. I get ~80-100 ping for Europe and I live in America, the most I get is just about 200 and that's when I'm playing with Singaporeans or Philippinos, which are relatively easy to avoid.

In one of your responses to a comment you said you used k-style to get "30000 XP from a bunch of level 9s." You obviously must have clearly explored the different levels of play, as you defeated level 9s, who of course probably know every intricacy of the game and would of course provide an exciting challenge. You probably learned "BUTTERFLY" or "SLASHSHOT," which is just scratching the surface. A great game veteran like yourself should be familiar with Street Fighter, and the way that the canceling glitches allow you to move quickly and effectively. Likewise, there are a series of glitches in GunZ that will propel you along and up walls at obviously-inhuman speeds, let you slash and shoot at relatively the same time, all while flashing about the screen. This is where the fun comes in. You probably used your "BUTTERFLY" on some tumbling laggy level 9s in a deathmatch. Get to the expert channels in 20, play team deathmatches and try fighting other k-stylers. Tell any average k-styler that you own in deathmatches and they will laugh at you. There also tend to be more non-English-speaking players in deathmatches, thus more laggers to you.

Eventually try playing the top players in clans like Curse who perform k-style moves with robot-like precision.

Pressing the keys correctly to allow yourself to move quickly enough to dodge, aiming and shooting, and then trying to find good routes about the level to make yourself as difficult to hit as possible is the only reason this game is worth playing. Part of the fun in iGunZ, at least, is learning to lead those 80-pingers with revolvers (many people use shotguns because it's spread will likely hit at least some if you lead in the right general direction). SMGs become useless once you have to fight k-stylers.

In IGUNZ the servers are in Korea, you have to lead a little at even 30 ping, which is certainly a problem.

In NAGUNZ (gunz.ijji.com) they just finished Closed Beta. The servers are in the USA. There, I could hit 60 ping with a rifle (Rifle shoots almost exact, like a sniper rifle except automatic.. single bullets are pretty weak) without having to lead at all really.

You should try the game again once Open Beta of NAGUNZ comes out. There will be the QUEST mode where you can fig

Read the rest of this comment...


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by boulevark on Thursday, December 28 @ 18:48:03 EST
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This is the best and funniest comment of gunz.
Yea I play it a lot (about 400 days) and this article made me laugh very much.
To all stupid assholes of gunzfactor and so called "pro": fuck you pieces of shit. Don't try to flame the one who wrote this! Gunz really does suck. You stupid underages just don't want to realize it. You freaks have nothing else to do. You idiots learned your stupid reflexes in Gunz and now look - the best game is here because you win everyone else. I only respect ones who rape everyone and can easily leave the game as it is for months. So I hope all "dedicated" gunz players learn a lesson.


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Sanction on Saturday, December 30 @ 07:51:00 EST
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I'm guessing you're white, because you're so fucking racist.
If you had been properly playing this game instead of phailing and being owned. You would have known how good it is, and how addictive.
Bro', don't judge a game in which you played for 1 hour and still couldn't get past level one.
Damn 'tard, in case you haven't heard of lag which is in every online game.
There is a quest mode, ugly, so there can be single player mode. Although it is not as good as CS:S, remember that, while your stupid white head explodes, this game is FREE. Unlike CS, which is expected to be good because you have to PAY.
All in all, you are extremely moronic.
Damn Caucasian American, get a real job. And a life while you're at it.

You 'tard.


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Courl on Monday, January 01 @ 13:55:57 EST
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It's pretty funny that nothing of this is true, you didn't bother trying to look at the game.
It made me laugh how retarded people can be. Such as "And when you're selecting a gun, you'd best choose SMGs or you can expect to spend the next 15 years trying to kill someone with 1 health and failing." which is bullshit, SMGs are just basic n0ob weapons which require no skill.


Also, "ike nearly every other modern shooting game, the whole game purely revolves around luck with no elements of skill whatsoever. " nothing is true of this. This game is pure skills and risk factors.

It's also pretty funny that you say: "the server will simply just not bother to register your hit at all." since hits are clientside.

The ping, is fine. It's 60~80

Also funny that you think:
"you will NEVER hit them, even if they're moving straight towards you."

If you use your head you could figure out yourself that if they move straight towards you for .2 seconds and their ping is 200 and you've shot them when they started moving towards you, you hit him.

"Projectiles like grenades and rockets sometimes just magically dissapear," Not true at all either.

About the story..
It's a shooter man, does it NEED a story?
Even though there is a story. And there are many fan fic movies about the story too.


Really, it's weird you even bothered making up this shit.


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by D (lasergrenades@bucketofllamas.com) on Saturday, March 10 @ 07:04:32 EST
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Incidently - chances are, you got to this review by running a google search for "gunz online sucks". Which means that, if you're going to be a clueless noob who fails at the internet and post an inane and retarded 'comment' that calls me racist and/or stupid and/or a shitty player at action games, you really need to get a goddamn life.

So save everyones' time, stop playing the action game equivelent of Adventure Quest, don't post a grammar-less idiot diatribe about how I "don't get" the game that you're apparently so in love with that you've sworn on your life to defend to the grave, go outside more often, and ideally, kill yourself in an interesting manner involving lethal amounts of horse transquilizers and a large vat of low-fat mayonnaise.


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by D (lasergrenades@bucketofllamas.com) on Saturday, March 10 @ 07:12:32 EST
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Which reminds me - when you claim that the reason I think this game sucks is because i'm "not any good at it", you're not exactly going to win points for being original (or correct). If you need to resort to insulting the reviewer rather than countering the review, then you've failed spectacularily.

So, when you get the urge... it's faster to just take your ritalin and get back to being a failed abortion.


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by DORPWNZYORUASS on Wednesday, October 17 @ 17:22:50 EDT
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Lol its true this game sucks so hard and in so many ways.Not even worth a download


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Arjuna252 on Sunday, August 09 @ 07:23:31 EDT
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nice one m8! visionary galore!


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 1)
by Khaeru on Sunday, April 01 @ 14:58:08 EDT
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gunz online sucks in many ways but it's also one of the most fun shooters ever made.

Sorry reviewer guy but you got totally wrong on gunz (except for graphics, the p2win stuff....not that they kill the game really, a level 20 player can kill a lv 60 one so nobody cares)

in short don't give a single credit to this review and follow this guy guide

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7AU-xtubTM


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Re: Gunz Online (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Thursday, August 15 @ 07:46:25 EDT
Come play a far more better and funner game right here it is the free version of cs/counter strike it is named cs portable well have fun there thank me later all! http://cs-portable.net/files/windows/LatestVersion.zip


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