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Spec Ops: The Line
Posted on Thursday, August 02 @ 21:01:32 EDT by Suislide
Action Game ReviewsSpec Ops: The Line is the latest in a series of shitty generic, linear, brown, bald head marine cover shooters. This game defines the term FUCKING GENERIC, it's like they just tried to find what is overused and overdone in the industry and followed it ALL to a T. Spec Ops: The Line should be renamed Shit Ops: I'm going to put a gun in my mouth and fire until the blackness comes because I'm so fucking bored. I know, the title is pretty long, but only a title that is long and overdrawn can describe this turd. Read on for my exciting, astounding and beautiful review of Spec Ops: The Fart.

So the moment I started this game the only thing I could think to myself was oh god no, they made a generic shitty cover shooter....I was still at the fucking menu. All I could see was a ton of brown and a huge smattering of bloom over everything so that you can't fucking see. I start the game and LO AND BEHOLD, I'm a fucking bald headed white American marine...seriously..how many fucking times have the bald headed marine been done? I mean...there is only a handful right: Gears of War, Mass Effect, Halo, Time splitters, Fracture, Killzone, Max Payne 3, Section 8, Dead Space, Resistance, Call of Duty, Killswitch, Kane and Lynch, Rogue Warrior, Vanquish, Army of Two, Dark Void, Quantum Theory, Splinter Cell, Rainbow Six Vegas....Ok I think you get the fucking point. I just listed 19 games which have bald headed marines or cover systems all within the last 3 fucking years. Definitely not overplayed, so the developers of SpecOps were probably like HOLY SHIT WE ARE GENIUS.

So I start the fucking game and the game starts with a shitty turret shooter sequence from a helicopter. HELL YEAH, everyone loves fucking stupid ass turret shooter sequences were you do nothing but blast the same enemies over and over for 20 minutes and try not to fall asleep. That is how they determined the difficulty, by how boring they could make the game and how much you try to stay awake. Right after that your black hawk chopper gets shot down! HOLY SHIT NO WAY! DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING. Then you walk with you and two other troops through some linear bullshit levels that are basically just straight corrirdors. Oh sure, you can see some shit in the distance, but guess what you are in some sand trench that is fucking tiny and with nothing in it. Then all you do is take fucking cover and take pop shots at retarded enemies who just stand out in the open. They literally open their mouths and yell SHOOT ME IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING MOVE. THE DEVELOPERS FORGOT TO PROGRAM ANY AI. I swear I heard one of the enemies say that.

So in two paragraphs and about 20 minutes of playing the game we have a cover system, everything is brown, terrible AI, linear corridor levels, huge amounts of bloom, bald marine American marine saying fuck a lot. I'm like...this game would be fucking the PERFECT definition if it had the bloody screen and regenerating health. I get shot...LO AND FUCKING BEHOLD. Literally the same game mechanics as every fucking game ever.

So I kept playing, I struggled for you...my wonderful fans and thought there had to be something of merit in this turd. I was wrong. It was like wearing a shit filled diaper on your head. This game is a fucking train wreck that comes off the rails and slams into an orphanage. The combat is completely fucking weightless in every sense of the word. The guns feel empty and weightless like you are firing a fucking BB gun. All the sounds for the weapons are tinny and basically sounds like someone hitting an aluminum sheet with spoons. You just proceed through linear corridors one after another in blown out office buildings or rooftop bullshit, shooting dumb enemies. All the guns feel exactly the fucking same...why even add other guns to the game if you make them all feel like the same bullshit. I made it about 4 hours in this game and I was about to quit...but then I fucking beat it. IT IS THAT FUCKING SHORT. The story in the game tries to be all fucking edgy too but really all they did was watch Apocalypse now before they made this game and then made some fucking cock sucking version of the same thing. I remember one time I ate some KFC and had to get my rectum surgically reinserted into my ass...it was more enjoyable than this game.

Generic - Brown, Bloom, No Ai, Bald Marine, Cover Shooter, Regenerating Health, Tinny weightless weapons.....just awful

1/10

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Re: Spec Ops: The Line (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, August 05 @ 09:16:33 EDT
No one is commenting!?


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Re: Spec Ops: The Line (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, August 07 @ 05:07:56 EDT
will you review funcom's The Secret World?


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Re: Spec Ops: The Line (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Friday, August 10 @ 14:08:52 EDT
If you don't like cover shooters, don't play them, go for kiddy stuffs like Call of Duty (which is a more of a piss of shit). Spec Ops is a very nice game, simply the thing i don't like is the save system.


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Re: Spec Ops: The Line (Score: 1)
by sofranko101 (yousuckdicks@hotmail.com) on Sunday, August 12 @ 21:43:36 EDT
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yo man so totally with you


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Re: Spec Ops: The Line (Score: 1)
by fhouse on Thursday, August 16 @ 08:28:08 EDT
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Any game that works like:

"Press A to jump down of a fucking 1 meter high ledge"

Starts from -1 for me.

This is such one.


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Re: Spec Ops: The Line (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Saturday, August 18 @ 01:56:35 EDT
I've heard a lot of good reviews from people who are definitely not being paid off, and who usually have pretty good taste in games. They've said that they really like the mechanics of the cover system, the environments, procedural damage and sand stuff, and that the story is really dark and gritty. Someone even compared it to Silent Hill in its creepiness. They've said that those reasons are what makes the game stand out, and it's really not a generic TPS. They almost convinced me to buy it, almost.

Care to explain exactly why they are wrong, and why the game is not worth it? Is it really only 4 hours long?


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Re: Spec Ops: The Line (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, November 12 @ 11:47:05 EST
I'm not surprised that suislide completely missed the point of spec ops. Yes, it plays like a shity generic brown shooter because it is attempting to deconstruct the genre of generic brown shooters and show how the whole genre has been built upon a foundation of bullshit from the very get-go (i.e. that these shooters try to play the gritty realism angle while being hopelessly unrealistic in their portrayal of war). I guess suislide just doesn't get subtlety unless it's in the form a giant purple dildo with a flashing neon light spelling "I AM BEING SUBTLE" that's raping him in his stupid, oblivious face.


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Re: Spec Ops: The Line (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, February 17 @ 01:04:15 EST
I have to agree with you on this one to some extent! The firing and the weapons feel absolutely weightless. There is no feel for the guns! It feels like you are shooting a BB gun! The running gets really frustrating when you get stuck behind cover when you don't intend too! And the fucking shortage of ammo! You also have to wait about 3 seconds to pick up a gun and by that time the enemy is filling you full of holes! And lets not get into the aiming! Not smooth at all! Its a bitch to really get a good aim! You are suppose to be a professional weapons handler so recoil should not be and issue!!!! I waste more fucking ammo shooting at everything else instead of the enemy! The graphics were not that bad and the cahracters are likeable for me but the game play sucks! Plus trying to find the fucking intel sucks all of the fun because you are trying most of the time to find it instead of concentrating on the game. Not too thrilled! Ended up uninstalling the game! 2 stars out of 10


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Re: Spec Ops: The Line (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, February 17 @ 01:16:08 EST
Read this! This is why the game came out so shitty!!!!

"When you read interviews with Yager Studios, the developers of Spec Ops, you feel that they never really wanted to make a game; while nominally Spec Ops is a videogame, it doesn’t want to be one. The developers repeat contextually-meaningless mantras such as “stage the scene” and “character arc” like true disciples of McKee’s one-size-fits-all approach to screenwriting. They make it clear that good writing was a priority. It didn’t matter if everything else was derivative, the writing had to be original and push boundaries. This attitude really shows in the final product. The explanation put forward was that they were destined to make a military shooter before the writing even started. In the case, the writing staff should have sent a memo to the games designers telling them not to include mechanics and animations that were so dependent on glorifying ultra-violence and other assorted military clichés. As it stands, the narrative and the gameplay are so diametrically opposed, that a literary equivalent would be somewhat like a publishing house printing Primo Levi’s If This Is A Man on parchment made from human skin. It just doesn’t work."

http://theshillinfield.wordpress.com/2012/12/11/spec-ops-the-line-is-still-a-bad-videogame/



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Re: Spec Ops: The Line (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, December 30 @ 01:39:16 EST
You seem like a bitter jerk-off, however, I do have a problem with foreign companies who like to make games about those "crazy, psycho Americans." so I kind of feel you there. Being an American myself, if you want to make a game like this, it should be from an American company, not some fuck-off foreign one.


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