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Call of Duty 7: Black Ops
Posted on Thursday, December 09 @ 00:25:54 EST by Suislide
FPS reviewsThis game series has two major fucking problems with it and they need to knock it off. First problem being that they keep making this shit series even though it has already nuked the fridge. Every game that comes out in this turd series is the same bullshit we have already seen a million times before. The second problem? Well they keep letting Treyarch make video games even though they are fucking amateurs at it. This is the worst Call of Duty yet, even worse than the last turd that Modern Warfare 2 and yet dumbass cunts keep giving them money to develop these shit games.

It is a solid theory of science that any video games series which has a yearly installation automatically is a piece of shit. We know this with all those terrible sports games that come out every year such as Madden and NHL. The only people who play these games are 40 year old men who don't have a college education and drink beer all because they are scumbags who never fucking did anything with their lives. This game appeals to a different demographic of shitty fucking teenagers who need to be beat up in junior high school. Faggots. This game is the same exact Call of Duty bullshit we have seen before and it is incredibly boring and full of bugs.

First of all, the graphics in this game are fucking lame. They look exactly the same as the last three games which have come out. They made absolutely zero fucking attempts to improve the graphics or animations at all. Be prepared to stare at a smattering of shitty quality textures that you will make you wonder why the fuck you would even buy a modern day video card because everything looks like consolized dog shit. The level design is spectacularly crappy and more linear than you have ever seen. Before it used to be big fake open looking levels that you would following on a narrow path because a tiny fucking fence would block the path. Treyarch said fuck the fence and we will just create extremely small and cramped levels filled with shitty invisible walls. HELL YEAH. Nothing drags me into a game like walking into invisible walls by accident.

So the levels are all over the fucking world from a shitty Cuban area, to shitty prisons in Russia, to abunch of other shitty areas. I stopped playing this turd after about five levels because the environments ranged from completely boring to uninteresting. Treyarch is still fucking amatuer when it comes to making games and they have some of the worst fucking level design I have ever seen in a game.

As for the gameplay in this game, I may as well copy and paste the same wall of text from all the other Call of Duty reviews because it is exactly the same as we have seen before. Shitty scripted set pieces set up that you run around and shoot some people and then running through narrow hallways and shooting more people. The combat in this game is clunkier and has increased the boring levels to almost zero. The first two games were sweet because they were fun, something new, and somewhat innovative at the time that they came out. Being high-speed action packed first person shooters, but now it is the same stale shit and no one expects anything else.

The worst part of this game? Well everyone loves running around shooting bad guys, at least that is fun...however in this game you lose control of your character every five fucking seconds. Seriously, you will shoot like ten people, then all the sudden it is a first person cutscene that you have to sit through and try to hold back your vomit. LET ME PLAY THE FUCKING GAME. I DON'T WANT TO WATCH YOU PLAY THE GAME FOR ME. However, don't worry. To make up for this absolutely shitfest, they decided to pack the game full of bugs. Something is wrong with the game to where it runs like absolute shit even though it looks like a game which was made over five years ago. The game crashes all the time, scripted sequences break, it is full of graphical glitches, broken AI, and many other bugs. Hell, some people still cannot play online due to the shit bugs that are packed into this game. I yawned my way through five incredibly boring levels occasionally shooting some people and then running through explosions. IT IS BORING NOW, YOU KILLED IT.

This is the same cookie-cutter bullshit shooter that we have seen every year for the last fucking seven years. It is boring and no longer innovative. Stop milking this fucking turd. 4/10

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Re: Call of Duty 7: Black Ops (Score: 1)
by Dick_In_Your_Ass (EMO on Thursday, December 09 @ 03:38:57 EST
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Finally, a truthful review of this stale shitty series.The only COD games that needed to exist were the 1st and Modern Borefare(even though,it had the magic fag sniper AI) I'm taxing that nuke the fridge line haha.FOR FUCKS SAKE they are still using the QUAKE 3 engine,QUAKE 3!

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Re: Call of Duty 7: Black Ops (Score: 1)
by Dick_In_Your_Ass (EMO on Thursday, December 09 @ 03:43:22 EST
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Oh ya and where the fuck is the MOH review? surely you should be done with it now(it's a fairly short game IIRC)

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Re: Call of Duty 7: Black Ops (Score: 1)
by puk on Tuesday, December 14 @ 02:57:28 EST
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I'm not defending this POS game, but the Zombie mode is really fun with System link. Unfortunately, it's really the only way that mode can be fun.

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Re: Call of Duty 7: Black Ops (Score: 1)
by downwiththegov ( on Tuesday, December 14 @ 16:56:07 EST
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Finally the review was posted. And you, sir, are one of the few people who are actually SMART and fucking hate on the unrealistic, unbalaced buggy piece of shit known as "Black Ops".

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Re: Call of Duty 7: Black Ops (Score: 1)
by bouch on Sunday, January 30 @ 22:56:10 EST
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I sooo agree with you! I dig the COD series but in almost three months, I've only had around 1 hour or so in total game-play! Simply because the performance is so damn poor! Most company's iron out such fundamental flaws within weeks. I've have lost a ton'o'faith with this one, No-matter what setting I try, no-matter what new little tweak surfaces, none have done a-thing to improve performance, I even bought a new GPU to enjoy it as much as possible. My current settings make the game look 10 years old, infact it looks just like a choppy, "free" to play online FPS's but made infinatly worse because I actually paid for the fuker. The main reason I die in-game is because of the persistent choppiness/lag, which is infuriating beyond belief!

To shake the frustration I play MW2 on super-high settings for hours on end occasionally wondering how BO's might look like on those settings, but it really helps to know that people are still having a blast without the fucking game anyhow.

So now I'm at the part where I feel like a real $100 sucker and can't do jack-shit about it.
I would've returned the game early on but with all the hype & anticipation and talk from the developers, Treyarse & Craptivision in the forums saying we should hang in there and wait while it's fixed but in the meantime the game is depreciating in value and retail return policys gradually become void, so that opportunity is pretty much fucked!

Why would I play an older game all day (CODMW2) but not touch the latest installment which I paid nearly $100 Australian for? Because it really is that bad, seriously - if you like this type of game, get yourself a copy of CODMW2, it's much cheaper nowdays and plays a fukton better and has a healthy comunity & plenty of servers 'n'shit.

Steam is passing the buck, telling people all problems with the game are to be forwarded to Activision! What a joke, what are they gonna do, give my money back? I strongly doubt it, besides that's all they care about, why else would they push unfinished games onto the market.
That's $100 dollars I'll never see again.
Screw this game and the fukers who made it!

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Re: Call of Duty 7: Black Ops (Score: 1)
by fuck_you_cristo on Tuesday, April 09 @ 00:41:46 EDT
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"It is a solid theory of science that any video games series which has a yearly installation automatically is a piece of shit"...

Now I have something to teach to my fucking classmates who thinks COD is so awesome but doesn't even know other better FPS games.

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