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XIII
Posted on Tuesday, November 25 @ 17:34:55 EST by Suislide
FPS reviewsYes you all thought this game was going to be good and fun and cool looking because of its cell shaded graphics. WELL TOO FUCKING BAD BITCH ITS NOT THAT GREAT.

Graphics: OOO First cell shaded first person to be released, lets all be astounded. WELL FUCK NO I dont like boxy ass character models and your fucking diamond shaped legs. So its cell shaded, thats it, theres nothing else too it, the graphics are just average. Also the skin on the Assault rifle to me looks fucking terrible. Its like someone filled their anus with black paint and then had a shit sneeze on the monitor. Wow great fucking job, hell i could do a better skin than that and i dont even know how. Anyways it runs perfectly fine, no slow downs or anything but then again i have a 9800pro. So the graphics are average, and fuck your god damn cell shading. Oh yeah one thing is when you hit someone in the head with a knife or shoot them and stuff it zooms in. Well who the fuck cares when it zooms in it has the blurriest piece of shit pictures you will ever see in your life. Oh just remember the cut scenes are fucking pointless because they look worse than the actual game.

Sound: The sound is just like the rest of the game.... Average. The music is pretty good though which doesnt make up for the uninspiried sounds in this game. Everything just sounds average, what the fuck is with this game. Even the fucking speech for the characters is just average. Did they even fucking try to make this game stand out besides the pointless cell shading they used just to make boxy fucking models. The gun sounds are bad, the sounds when you samsh someone with a chair arent bad but they arent really that great. What the FUCK.

Gameplay: The gameplay is, yes you guessed it, FUCKING AVERAGE. Its not incredibly boring but its not the greatest piece of shit to ever be released. So basically you walk around and shoot people, with some sneaking involved in some levels. You sneak by watching for like foot steps you can with a little gay ass comic like TAP. Then you can knock them out or take people hostage. I took this one bitch hoe hostage then humped the shit out of that whore. The weapons aren't special and the Assault Rifle is fucking retarded. I find my self using the pistol most of the time because i dont get enough AMMO WHAT THE HELL GIVE ME SOME FUCKING AMMO. Besides you wont hit shit with the rifle even if you are ducking. It fucking shoots like a shotgun. And then we get to the shotgun with makes 5 holes FUCKING WOW! What kind of shit ammo am i using that only has 5 pellets in the shell. So the gameplay is alright its nothing special.....

Story: Ok heres the story you are some guy with ugly hair who everyone called number 13 (Xiii is 13 in roman numerals for the slower people who visit the site). You were on a boat and got your shit ruined and now you have no memory but someone said that you killed the president and shit so the police want to rape you up the ass. You find out more as you play it and just a note the ending suck dirty donkey anus.

The game is just average... Cell shading sucks 6.5/10

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Re: XIII (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Thursday, January 22 @ 03:36:52 EST
I agree, this game is a total disapointment in every way. The stupid cell shading technique makes for awful graphics( a total lack of textured polygons adds to the charm), and the gameplay seems less sophisticated and challenging than an early fps like goldeneye(perfectly accurate handgun and shitty assault rifle, what were they thinking). Your comments concerning this $40.00 piece of shit were dead on. Nice site, I enjoy colorful reviews of video games, especially when they are as overrated as this one(some sites gave this game ridiculously high ratings in spite of its many shortcomings).


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