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Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
Posted on Sunday, August 01 @ 14:40:04 EDT by Suislide
Action Game ReviewsLast time they tried to reboot the Prince of Persia series with that piece of shit cell-shaded game which SUCKED ASS in every sense of the word. Ubisoft then realized what a terrible idea that was and instead tried to stick ANOTHER story in the sands of time time line, even though it doesn't need anymore fucking stories. So what you get is Prince of Persia, the Forgotten Sands which is basically the same fucking game you have already played a bajillion times over. Ubiosoft is a terrible company and lacks any innovation in their games and instead release the same Tom Clancy and Prince of Persia turds that you get over and over again.

Graphics: The graphics in the game aren't exactly bad in any way but they aren't particularly interesting in any way shape or form. On the technical side of this bitch, the models all look decent and have enough detail. The Prince still looks like a mid-twenties hipster douchebag and the only other two characters are some spiritual bitch and some other cunt with a beard. The water effects in the game look very nice especially when they go from freezing to unfreezing, it's pulling off some impressive effects. The textures are pretty much mediocre throughout the game but the environments in this game are LAME. The whole game looks like the same persian castle bullshit that you already went through in all the other fucking games. You are basically running around a big empty palace full of sand people doing nothing. The only variation it offers is different sections of the palace but they are all filled with the same traps and looks. It is clear they had absolutely no inspiration for the art design of this game. It pretty much screams average in the fucking sense of the word. THE WORST PART? The camera is still fucked in the game and will randomly change angles on you and fucking change your controls. Knock that shit off. It's been almost 8 years since the original Sands of Time and you still cannot fix this shit? Embarrassing.

Sound: The voice acting is incredibly bland and uninspired. Whoever wrote the dialog should be shot in the face. The characters in this game are incredibly generic, especially the Prince's brother. Starts out as wanting to save his Kingdom and then wants to become super powerful from some sand people. Wow, who the fuck would have thought? It is clear that the people working at Ubisoft are about intelligent as my fucking ballsack, but what do you expect from French-Canadians? The Prince in the game is probably a Schizo considering he talks to himself half the game with the worst dialog ever. "SAND PEOPLE AGAIN!?" Wow...well written and way to self-reference the own game. Fucking idiots. Everything else in the sound department is just boring.

Gameplay: So you already played this game about 4 times before. It is the exact same jumping puzzles, dodging buzzsaws, and using your super sweet time powers to go back in time. This time though, you can level up and make your sword more powerful. Oh, this is fucking retarded by the way because they give you the most powerful sword at the end of the game anyways. You can get SUPER COOL AWESOME powers to blow away your enemies like SHOCKWAVE or whatever the hell its called. They basically all the do the same fucking thing. So imagine a game like the Sands of Time with all the same exact puzzles except for the new water element, and then get rid of the good combat system. Instead now they have a system where you fight 50 enemies at once with the lamest button-mashing combat ever. Seriously, all I have to do is click the left mouse button and poof, I WIN. The combat is clunky, stiff, and lame as shit. What happened to the smooth fluidity of the previous games? Fucking idiots. There are some new water puzzles that will cause your fingers to commit suicide trying to press the right key to freeze/unfreeze the water. The boss fights are also the biggest joke in this game. Seriously, the last boss fight I just put my dick onto the mouse and POOF, I instantly beat the was amazing. Game sucks.

Story: HOLY SHIT? SAND PEOPLE ARE ATTACKING AGAIN? That's right, your stupid brother opens Solomons gate and SURPRISE. Everyone gets turned into sand monsters and you have to beat the sand boss. Wow, it is almost like I heard this fucking story before in the OTHER THREE GAMES THEY MADE. Way to put absolutely NO innovation into your story and rehash the same shit we have already heard.

Boring. I wish I had the dagger of time to go back before I ever played this game 4/10

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Average Score: 4.75
Votes: 8

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Re: Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands (Score: 1)
by _Master_ on Sunday, August 01 @ 15:06:58 EDT
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puk loves all the pop series games cause they have Persia in the title. i think you have hurt him quite badly, he is probably gonna come and bitch out....OR he may praise you....OR me may just sit in his lab and suck his Persian cock

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Re: Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands (Score: 1)
by puk on Sunday, August 01 @ 17:23:29 EDT
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Kick ass review. I especially loved the "I wish I had the dagger of time to go back before I ever played this game". First witty comment you ever made without using the words cock or ass

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Re: Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands (Score: 1)
by downwiththegov ( on Sunday, August 01 @ 18:58:53 EDT
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I played the other Prince of Persia game.
it sucked.

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Re: Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands (Score: 1)
by craterface on Monday, August 02 @ 01:25:53 EDT
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the review basically sums it up. the enviroment holds nothing that particullary stands out, game design is generic and bland. also prince looks and sounds like a douche. and i think that this game needs no flashy fire and shock magic shit..
also they tried to strech out the gameing time by forcing the player to fight millions of skeletons in every room. not just 2-3 like in the previous games, there are swarms of enemies pouring from every little closet.
the first and original PoP is still the best.

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Re: Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands (Score: 1)
by Dick_In_Your_Ass (EMO on Monday, August 02 @ 09:54:36 EDT
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Anyone remember ABUSE? Trust ubishit to run a franchise onto the B grade

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