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Aliens Versus Predator
Posted on Thursday, March 18 @ 01:36:16 EDT by Suislide
FPS reviewsThe first major problem with this turd..It should be called Aliens Versus Predator 3. What the hell are these developers thinking. It's not hard to fucking count...there was two previous games before this one..making this the third. Notice how Doom 3 was a remake of the first game but still named Doom 3? Yeah, because it wasn't developed by fucking retards. Anyways, the original develops of the classic game come out with a new rendition of it, and despite all the bullshit reviews out there, this game is worse than shitting out a turd filled with razor blades. I'm pretty sure I vomited blood after playing this pile of crap.

Graphics: The graphics in this game ALMOST fake you out like they look good but in the end they are fucking shitty. The game supports DX11 so if you have an ATI card you can get extra features like tessalation. However, it doesn't fucking matter because when you are playing the game and not staring at a fucking wall you won't even notice the difference. The models in this game looks like predator balls. The aliens look like aliens and the predators look like predators so of course they couldn't fuck those up. The humans on the other hand look like generic boxy green soldiers on the planet. The main Mexican chick that you partner with looks like a generic mexican chick. Way to fucking innovate in character design. The same goes for being an alien or predator, it's just generic model after generic model to the point you don't give a fucking about killing them anymore. The animations aren't that bad though being sufficiently fluid for the aliens and predators but the the first person alien face-clipping when biting off a head looks fucking retarded. You are supposed to be looking out of the eyes of the alien not out of his fucking mouth. The environments are the same generic foreign planet crap with dark hallways we have all seen before. You battle through the same tireless dark cave, dark hallway, outdoors and science labs like always but this time they leave out the awesome set designs. You get to basically shoot in levels designed like some shitty fucking boxes. The graphics aren't that bad but the field of view in the game is more narrow than my dick. The textures also don't look that great either.

Sound: You think that someone with Aliens in the name would have a good soundtrack but NOPE. The music in this game is a fucking snoozefest on the largest of scales. It definitely makes my balls curl up inside of my anus. The worst part is the voice acting in this game is absolutely pathetic. That Mexican chick who was mentioned previously sounds like a fucking 50s robot reading off generic lines. Seriously, who wrote this shit? I felt like I was listening to a fucking Jerry Bruckheimer film and wanted to commit suicide right there. The sounds for the aliens and predators are of course fine but you can't fucking those up. They are staples of the series and if they ruined those it would have been disastrous. The guns sound allright, with of course having the gun from aliens with it's unique sound but the rest are nothing special. The voice acting though is so fucking pitiful I want to choke them.

Gameplay: The gameplay in this game is WOEFUL, both the single and multiplayer aspects of it. Of course the game is split into three campaigns based upon which race you choose, however, instead of following all of the sweet features of AVP2, they decided it would be better to ruin the game instead. Instead of intense battles with aliens as a marine, you now how to tirelessly hit the same bullshit sequence of buttons. Seriously, you may be able to fucking shoot it a couple of times but then it will run into your face, hit the melee button to knock it down, and shoot it. You pretty much are forced to fucking do this a billion times and it makes the marine combat fucking worse than having sex with a chick who stores razor blades in her twat. Also, whats with this only carrying three weapons bullshit? I want to carry 10 big ass fucking guns like I did in the last games, stop limiting me. The campaign is incredibly boring shit fest just fighting through boxy hallways wondering why the hell you spent fifty dollars on this turd sandwich.

The alien, I spent about an hour with before falling asleep in a deep coma. You can climb around on all the different ways, target an enemy, and then attack. Or just run up to him and claw him. Either one works but for some reason it's just an absolutely snooze fest. Oh yeah, climbing into vents is a bigger pain in my ass than shoving a baseball bat inside of it. Instead of just having you climb into it, like any develop who isn't a pile of shit, you have to TARGET the vent and jump into with the controls. It's awful and never fucking works half the time. Have fun running around the same shit looking corridors biting off the heads of people. It sounds awesome but the crap controls make it lame.

The predator isn't much better, having somehow gained new powers which weren't existent in the movies or previous games. I made it through about 10 minutes of this campaign before I got dysentery and shot myself in the face. The multiplayer sucks now because they got rid of the classes in AvP2 and instead just allow you to kill everyone using a quick time event. Hooray, just run up behind a person and press E to instantly kill them every time.

Story: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING. First you are a marine that finds aliens and kills some along with a few predators. Then you are a science experiment alien who escapes, and finally a predator. That's pretty much the story...there is some bullshit thing on the planet that they unlock but I can't make it to the end of this turd so I can't spoil it for you.

Way to ruin Aliens Versus Predators, now it's just as fucking bad as the movies 4/10

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Re: Aliens Versus Predator (Score: 1)
by Dick_In_Your_Ass ( on Friday, March 19 @ 16:32:26 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message)
kkkkkkonsolised! Also is a piece of fat gurl OMGILOVETWILIGHT shit!its been a while since you didnt finish a game that you review.Btw did you play in dx11 mode?

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