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Red Faction 3: Guerilla
Posted on Friday, October 09 @ 00:27:46 EDT by Suislide
Action Game ReviewsOops I made a should be titled Red Faction: Diarrhea. Once again we have a prime example of a game that has an 85% on gamerankings...yet it's a fucking awful game in every aspect. Someone needs to be taken out back and shot for this fucking travesty. This game is basically the Holocaust Part 2. The first game was pretty decent and you could huge tunnels through the game. The second game was some pile of shit that wasn't even remotely like the first...and then this...I felt like I was playing Total Recall: The Game...Oh what a surprise another SHITSTANK game brought to you by THQ. Will they go bankrupt already?

Graphics: RED. That's what the graphics are...RED...I mean I know it's fucking Mars but they could at least mix up the environments. I felt like I was staring at a Virtual Boy while my retinas burned out of my eyeballs. Oh wait they did, you go from some red part of the guess what...A SNOWY PART. Wow, could they make it anymore fucking generic? The environments in this game blow...even the first game had a larger variety than this turd. The models for characters are enemies are borderline insulting to our perception of sight. They all lack any distinguishing details and pretty much look like they were clones pressed out of a factory. I mean shit, even the main character is just some bald faggot in a green jacket. WOW AWESOME. The enemies are all designed like shit too and you basically shoot clone after clone for 15 hours as you play this game. ALl the cars suck dick too, there is basically three vehicles...the enemies APC, this big fucking truck, or a dinky piece of transport. Surprise, they all handle the same too. Now the Geo-Mod 2.0 seems pretty cool as you can blow apart chunks of a ton of buildings...and it does actually look pretty fucking sweet. It's great watching a building collapse and crush everyone beneath it and people dying. Oh wait, no blood. Too bad you blow up the same 5 buildings over and over again. You think the geo-mod is sweet and it's not fun when the whole fucking game you are blowing up the same cookie cutter buildings. The only decent thing about this game is the geo-mod...everything else looks like absolute dog shit.

Sound: Awful. I don't even know what to say except for the same bullshit I've been saying a million times before. Crap dialog, boring voice acting, generic explosions, crpa vehicles sucks, weapons sound like pea shooters. The buildings collapsing don't even feel like they have enough force behind them. You except them to sound like a FUCKING HUGE BUILDING COLLAPSING. Instead it sounds like a grenade going off inside of safe...aka..BORING. Vehicles blow ass too, there is one engine sound for every vehicle in the game. Also, the voice acting is just such shit. They talk and talk about the mission and everything and you can't help but pass out into a coma from the sheer boring they are beaming into your ear drums. Fuck this game.

Gameplay: This is one of those shithole games where you see the entire fucking game in the first five seconds. That's right..the training mission shows you the entirity of this game. Let me say this straight out that the fucking gun combat in this game SUCKS FUCKING DICK. It's clunky, lacks weight, and just feels overall like a pile of shit. Anyways, the first training mission you blow up some facility...and that's's one of those games where it's based off a fucking gimmick and they think they can stretch out this shitty gimmick over a 10 hour game. So you can blow every chunk of a building out and collect parts from it..and then use the parts to buy new weapons and upgrade shit like health and weapons. Then you do missions for the red faction group to take control of the planet. And you slowly take control of different regions. It's fucking boring because all the missions are the same. GO DESTROY THIS EDF BUILDING, OMG NOW DEFEND THESE SOLDIERS. There is no fucking do the same shit over and over a BILLION TIMES. Oh yeah and the EDF will attack you when you blow up buildings, but you dissapear for 5 seconds and go right back...they don't do a fucking thing. The AI is basic pukey shit. They stand around out of cover until you blow the shit out of them, and then will hide behind cover with 80% of their body sticking out. All the weapons in this game feel like fucking pea shooters, and the combat is just puke overall. I found it funner stealing a car and just running everyone over that I could. There is a billion side missions where you do the same shit over and over again. Blow up a building within the time limit! There are morale meters which will determine how much your side fights and all that shit. Whatever, It's a really boring game based on the shitty geo-mod gimmick and thats it.

Story: Omg it's a diarrhea sammich. You come to Mars to work but your brother was in Red Faction and dies. All the sudden you whine like a bitch even though your brother died because he broke the law. And vow to seek vengeance with your bald head and green jacket. Whatever, the story sucks. It's basically stop the EDF

This game is bullshit based on a bullshit gimmick and everyone who gave it good rating was probably fucking paid. 4/10

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Re: Red Faction 3: Guerilla (Score: 1)
by Dick_In_Your_Ass on Saturday, October 10 @ 07:18:41 EDT
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still waiting for the gta4 pc review,or does it run like dog shit on your pc too?

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Re: Red Faction 3: Guerilla (Score: 1)
by sidewinter on Monday, June 21 @ 16:58:58 EDT
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i totally with this review, i TRIED to like it, i TRIED to make myself think it's fun to blow shit up, but that wasn't enough, it's too goddamn repetitive and it needs a lot of shit fixed/redone

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Re: Red Faction 3: Guerilla (Score: 1)
by liberator328 on Sunday, August 15 @ 15:31:33 EDT
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wow, i totallllly agree with you

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