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X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Posted on Wednesday, May 13 @ 22:28:20 EDT by Suislide
Action Game ReviewsWell this game is basically made for the movie but there is a twist, production for this game actually started before the movies did. Infact, some of things aren't even the same as the movie. The movie is the worst pile of shit to ever hit the theatres in recent years. It's filled with contrived bullshit and plot holes galore. If you like sucking on rectum, you may enjoy the movie but then again you are also a fag. Now Raven tends to make somewhat enjoyable games and they actually managed to make a decent action game. The best part? It's fucking bloody as hell. None of that PG-13 or Teen movie tie in bullshit. Hell when you watch the first cutscene wolvering is fucking tearing people about and fucking boring holes in there body. The beginning CG is an absolute BLOODBATH and its fantastic. Surprisingly the game isn't too bad either but has some problems.

Graphics: The graphics in this game are pretty average for the most part. There is at least a fucking variety in the environments which is nice for a change. You will be battling through shitty villages in Africa, Casino Buildings, A Huge lab facility, a huge military facility, and through the wilderness and some shit. So while the environments are the most fucking revolutionary thing to ever be created there is at least enough variety to keep things interesting. Of course, like every other fucking game, this game uses the Unreal Engine 3 so it has that shiny as look to it and SURPRISE! FUCKING TEXTURE POP IN! Can't they fix this for PC users? We don't like our textures popping in because we don't fucking god awful consoles that don't have the memory to sufficient store all the textures. It isn't major because it's only for a few seconds but there is a problem in this game where the LOD will fuck up. When you get near certain textures or turn to a certain angle they will pop out of there high detailed mode into the low detail one right in front of you. And it get's stuck and looks like a shitty low-resolution blurry as textures. If they fixed this problem I would be happy, because it happens quite a bit and its irritating. As for the rest of the quality of the textures and models it is all standard fare, the graphics pretty much strike the range of mediocrity. At least Wolverine looks exactly like Gene Hackman, or is it Hugh Jackman? Who gives a fuck. Now the graphics in this game have a twist in that there is actually blood for once. What else would you expect from a guy with super sharp claws? To Tear mother fuckers apart, that's what. So when you are slicing and ripping people apart they bleed everywhere. The animations for wolverine are pretty damn smooth and there is quite a few of them, such as grapping a person out of plane and ramming his head into the blades, or implaing people. The gore is fucking over the top and it is fantastic. Though when it comes to Raven (Quake 4!) they usually deliver on the gore! So the graphics are nothing special but they aren't bad except for the shitty LOD, but there is some decent animations.. The best part is the fucking blood! Oh one thing I forgot to mention is the damage model for wolverine is pretty nice. He can lose almost all his skin and you can see his bones sticking out until the skin slowly regenerates which looks nice.

Sound: Ok first of all the voice acting for Wolvering is pretty damn good because it's actually the actor so it is at least a professional actor. The rest of it is standard fare but the problem lies within the FUCKING HORRIBLE SCRIPT. The dialog in this game is fucking pitiful in all respects and it's sad because it's the same as the movie (WHICH SURPRISE! Had fucking absolute shit dialog). Wolverine spits out cheesy one-liners the whole game which is kind of faggy but it's allright...because its Wolverine. However, Gambit takes homosexual dick sucking queer to a whole new level. He sounds like a fucking homosexual magician and spews out the same lines over and over. Constantly this guy is "Mon Armi" or some shit like that. WE FUCKING GET IT. STOP REPEATING YOURSELF. The best part (and this dialog is straight from the movie as well) is when he goes "Are you Ron Jeremy (or whatever his name)?" and Gambit replies "Do I owe you money?" Wolverine then says "No" so Gambit replies "Well Ron Jeremy I am..." Does anyone else see the problem with this. He fucking said do I owe you money? You used first person you fucking retard which just gave yourself away. Too bad they were probably voiced to use the shitty fucking script from the movie. The rest of the characters all have absolutely terrible dialog and it makes my dick cringe. The music is a standard classical fare and fits the game well enough and the rest of the sound effects are pretty standard and nothing too extraordinary.

Gameplay: This game is basically a hack and slash like all the others where you are presented with a ton of enemies and you have to beat the shit out of them all. Wolverine has a shit ton of different combos which you can use to shred and rip people apart in bloody oh sweet bloody animations. You can level up your character and get more health and upgrade things such as your claws or the special moves that you have (claw drill, whirlwind, berserk, etc). You then use your strong and light attack in combinations to rip the living shit out of everyone and send blood flying all over your screen. The gameplay is pretty basic where you will just rip the shit out of all your enemies, occasionally fighting certain special enemies which require a bit more fighting skill. Then of course there are the bosses which you have to beat the shit out of in a certain way to destroy them. Some of them are fucking irritating as fuck like that faggot Gambit. At one point he keeps knocking you off this shitty fucking ladder and it is so irritating it makes me want to choke the fucking developer. Also the giant robot fight was fucking IRRITATING especially with the debris part. God, why the fuck do they put in irritating parts? Besides that though, it is pretty decent. I don't know what it is, I am thinking it's all the fucking blood in this game, but its fun as hell to claw the shit out of every living thing on the screen and impaling them into bloody stumps. There limbs will fly off, blood will fly everywhere and its great. The hack and slash is pretty standard but fun. There are of course the occasionally puzzles to mix up the gameplay, but none of them are even remotely hard. It does get a little repetitive though. So for a hack and slash game this one is quite enjoyable.

Story: This story sucks the dick off a turkey. It is based off the movie with small changes but it's pretty shit over all. You play wolverine and run around doing a mission in Africa which is just some bullshit to get admantium, you then get it but they don't need you so they kill you. Why the fuck did they inject you with it then? Then you run around the game with flashbacks to Africa, set out to kill your brother, find some guy who wants to kill all mutants and then fight Deadpool because he had all the powers. Oh and somewhere along the way your love kills get in this fucking convoluted mess of a story. None of every feels important or like it links up at all. None of the shit that happens even matters. Then all the sudden at the end of the game there is some scientist who hates mutants who escapes, then wolverine looks and sees giant robots destroying the city. It was pretty damn retarded and it didn't make any sense. The story sucks and movie fucking blows.

The game is actually kind of fun, must be all the blood 7.5/10

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Re: X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Score: 1)
by Alez on Thursday, May 14 @ 06:59:04 EDT
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I was expecting shit game since it was a movie tie in. But it was actually pretty nice, because of the violence.
Too bad it gets too repetitive too fast and also that the control are fucking bullshit for the PC.

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