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Saints Row 2
Posted on Wednesday, January 21 @ 17:39:12 EST by Suislide
Action Game ReviewsHow about smoking fucking turd of a game? Everytime these game developers want to make a clone off of GTA they always take it too fucking far. They try to make it more gangster or more over the top. The problem is it gets the point where it is fucking stupid and no one gives a shit because everyone talks like a ghetto person. So here is Saint's Row 2 which is basically a fucking huge turd of a game on the consoles. However, they ported it to the PC with absolutely no consideration for putting any effort or quality into it. So we have a shit turd game that has become even more shittier and turdier because of a terrible fucking port! Saint's Row 2 is a game that needs to be flushed down the fucking toilet.

Graphics: Ok so it seems the new thing in ports now days is to make them to both run like fucking shit and look like fucking shit. Seriously, I got the worst fucking diarrhea just from looking at this game. The first problem I noticed with this game is when I was attempting to set the resolution to 1680x1050...oh what's that? NO WIDE SCREEN SUPPORT? Well FUCK! Teleport me back to the fucking middle ages where lack of widescreen support belongs to rot in hell forever. Seriously, if your game doesn't have widescreen support at this point in time, you should fucking set your house on fire and kill yourself. So, I crank up the details thinking, "PFFT I got a gtx280, it can handle Crysis decently well so this game should fall beneath its mighty boot". BOY WAS I WRONG. This game runs like absolute fucking DOG SHIT even on the lowest settings. The problem with this though is that the game looks like its from fucking 3 years ago. Honestly, the graphics are 2x as crappy as GTA4 and it runs 2x as worse. It looks 4x as bad as Crysis and runs 60x as bad. So here I am playing this fucking turd of a game in a non-WS so everything looks like shit anyways and then it coats my screen with its crap graphics running at the worst fucking speed possible.

Honestly, the character models look stupid as hell, the design for these characters is bland and shitty anyways. Nothing special about them at all. The indoor environments are extremely bland, ugly and look like crapoopshit. Thats right. Crapoopshit is a new I just invented to describe the graphics in this game. The outdoor environments look decent but again it just runs so bad I don't even want to look at it. It also has that terrible fucking FOV because its a fucking awful console game. WHats with this new fucking trend to give everyone tunnel vision with the FOV? TBH, It looks amatuer as hell and makes your game feel like a low-budget piece of shit. Anyways, the graphics in this game are BAD even on full details and they run even worse.


Sound: Ok so with GTA4, we had some decent stations even though most of the music sucked the talk radio stations were funny as hell, and the commercials were enjoyable. The car driving audio was just great in GTA4. This game - NOT AT FUCKING ALL - First of all they try to mimick GTA in every aspect and fail worse than a fucking hooker at getting a degree. It is honestly so pathetic that I hope the developers go out of business, the developers become and go home and beat their kids. There is literally only one good one in this game and its a shame it is stuck in with some of the worst fucking music ever. Opeth - Ghost of Perdition is a God among men in this game and its an insult that this song was used in this game at all. Opeth are kings and this game is the leaky shit that comes out and burns my ass after a huge bout of eating white castle....its not what you crave.

As for the rest of the audio...it SUCKS. The dialog is lame cheesy shit where the characters try to act more black than they really are and it tries to give everyone a gangster, cool feel to them. It comes off as another pathetic GTA clone where NO ONE GIVES A SHIT. It is honestly just absolutely awful. Go for your own style, don't try to pathetically copy others and give us this diarrhea in our mouth.


Gameplay: So take GTA4 and make a terrible mod for it and this is what the game plays like. The cars are more arcadey and throw in a few more explosions. The rest is the same old shit we've seen a million times before...DO SOME MISSIONS. KILL PEOPLE. FALL ASLEEP. INSERT GUN INTO MOUTH. Honestly...how much can I really say about the gameplay? It really is just a shitty version of GTA4...there is absolutely nothing more to it. TBH, I almost uninstalled the game at the character creation screen because I felt the puke already in my throat. Luckily, I got through about a half hour of complete pathetic BAD BAD BAD BAD console port shit and then finally puked on my hard drive which luckily killed it. I would gladly sacrifice my first born if it mean's I can go back in time and erase this game from existing. You know what makes it so much worse? I paid for this piece of shit.


Story: Who knows? I played the game for a half-hour and lost interest at the absolute amount of pathetic this game just inserted into my brain. It tries to be everything and fails because it comes off as cheap crap, the missions and quests are all shit we have seen a million times before, and the gameplay and dialog just feel like BALLS.

This game is pretty much the worst travesty to walk the earth in recent years. And thats saying a lot considering fucking MALL COP is Number 1 at the box office right now 0/10

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Average Score: 3.33
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Re: Saints Row 2 (Score: 1)
by berzerker on Thursday, January 22 @ 02:45:02 EST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Opeth in a game? Vader in The Witcher was a similar surprise. Is death metal becoming main stream now?


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Re: Saints Row 2 (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, February 19 @ 20:43:02 EST
you sir are an idiot


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