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Flatout: Ultimate Carnage
Posted on Saturday, September 06 @ 00:50:20 EDT by Suislide
Racing Game ReviewsThere is no fucking ultimate carnage here. It should just be name FLATOUT, THIS IS THE SAME FUCKING GAME AS THE LAST 2. Seriously, if you put this games together and blurred out the copyright date, had two people play this game, they couldn't even fucking tell which one came out first. Ah well, well here it is! The latest installment of Flatout!

Graphics: Well the graphics in this game are pretty decent enough. All the tracks have plenty of detail of them with tons of destructable items in them. You will smash pretty much into EVERYTHING from other cars, buildings, railings, gas tanks and tires. There is usually a ton of this shit found throughout all the maps. The environments also vary from the city type, farmlands, other various shit ones. Theres a slight problem in that they aren't fucking varied enough. Honestly, you go through the same fucking maps like 30 fucking times and even the alot of the farm looking ones feel EXACTLY the same. This is also another major problem as they look exactly the fucking same as the last game! Theres the same city, canals, and farmland maps as the last fucking game! Fuck my fucking pisshole and give me aids, WHY?! What is so fucking hard that they cant create better environments. Its a fucking fantasy racing game. Anyways, as for the rest of the game, the maps do look pretty nice. The cars have some good damage models and go from looking pristine to being beat enough to look like that piece of shit shouldn't even be running. Another fucking problem with the repetitiveness is the trick maps. They are the exact fucking same as last time as well! ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING TRICKS FUCK YOOOU! Create some new shit you pussies. The only thing that can be said is that the maps do have somewhat nice graphics.

Sound: HOLY FUCK. Someone ram a fucking cock in my ears and knock my fucking brain out. You thought the maps got repetitive, TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING MUSIC. I swear to god there has to be about 5 tracks from this game. All of it is abunch of fucking no-name bands that the company probably got fucking super cheap because their music sucks cock. Honestly, this is some of the worst fucking music you can ever hear. It ranges from some shity emo punk rock, to rap metal, to more emo rock bullshit. I never heard such raunchy fucking pussy music ever in my life. Im going to fuck the brain of whoever chose this music. Seriously, its so fucking bad i want to puke on my fucking dick, hope it gets rotted, and falls out. This MUSIC SUCKS. As for the rest of the sounds, they are all basically forgettable. It's the same generic smashing sounds, crashing, and other crap that you expect. Nothing really pops out about the audio except the absolute shittiness of the music.

Gameplay: Ok, so this gameplay basically consists of driving on the same ten tracks over and over until you want to fucking blow your brains out with a shotgun. I did just at the thought of having to install this game on my hard drive. Basically, a fucking turd is better than this game. You just drive around the same maps over and over, get a new and faster car and do the same shit again until you get to the last map. Then when you beat it all, you can take a cock in your ass because you get NOTHING. There is some boring ass demolition derby that you can do as well, well guess what!? Its the same shit as the last game, so are the stunt levels too. Basically this game is the same fucking shit with absolutely nothing new.

Story: The story is you are fucking faggot for ever wanting to play this game. Or for reading this review, your choice. There is no story because people who make racing games have no skill at writing.


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Re: Flatout: Ultimate Carnage (Score: 1)
by Kasrkin on Sunday, September 07 @ 13:59:43 EDT
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This is because racing games are one of the backbones of consoles (the other being sporting games), and since console gamers only see the NEW RELEASES section in his fucking store, you get the same racing games over and over again in new covers and titles.

Same with RTS games in PC, there are tons of generic knights shit games. It's a strategy to get to the casual player market.

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Re: Flatout: Ultimate Carnage (Score: 1)
by Rycon on Wednesday, October 29 @ 16:21:28 EDT
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This review couldnt be more right to the T.

I loaded up this game, and I KID YOU NOT I literally had to go back and make sure it wasnt some kind of update or expansion OR EVEN THE SAME OLD GAME (Flatout 2). I thought I loaded the wrong one on accident or something.

To my disappointment, it was indeed Flatout Ultimate Faggots.

The only thing thats different is updated graphics.. nothing else is new.. the physics still suck a fat one.. they made it easier to kill players in derby (Now people blow up left and right) and they changed the controls a to be just like the console. (There is a difference between the controls in flatout 2 between the PC and Xbox versions). So now its VERY noob friendly. They threw in some power ups for Derby mode (NOT in the main story mode or whatever the fuck you wanna call it). But they are COMPLETELY stupid because 100% of the derby tracks are 100% the same... who cares about powerups..

There should be a fucking law against this, because this is THIEVERY.

This is an UPDATE at very best, a complete waste of HD space as worst.

Oh and the music is indeed complete trash.. it is so irritating EVEN IF YOU LIKE MUSIC like that.. I guarantee you that the programmers muted the music while testing this game, I have NO doubt in my mind and I would bet money on it. Its so horrible, and there is literally like 5 tracks. Not only that the SOUND blows, everything meshes together to sound like someones asshole blowing up a toilet after eating hot wings for a week.

If you want a good racing game and derby, play Race Driver Grid. This game will leave you pissed off (Especially if you played the last ones) so much that you will want to gouge your eyes out with a spork.

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