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Mass Effect
Posted on Wednesday, June 11 @ 15:37:20 EDT by Suislide
RPG ReviewsHOORAY! Bioware usually makes some damn good RPGs, such as the best RPGs ever made, Baldurs Gate, except for Jade Empire. What the hell happened there? That game was fucking AWFUL. It was basically KOTOR with more asian people. So they come out with their 360 rpg hit for the pc except they actually do a good job of porting it unlike most shitty fucking companies. They even add in features for the PC version to make it more playable! And we get the free downloadable content, although who the fuck knows when that is coming. Anyways, Mass Effect is pretty damn sweet.

Graphics: So this game looks pretty damn good no matter where you are in the game. The environments for the planets are pretty damn detailed, and not to mention very open. More open than your moms floppy pussy. There are a shit ton of planets that can be explored and they all each have their own unique look to them and are very open. Then there is the actual main plot line areas which also have large intricate details in all of the areas, some of the things are damn good looking too. When in the Citadel, the game just looks fucking fantastic with plenty of characters on screen all at once. The clean white office lab look for the citadel is just great looking. Not to mention, there are a shit ton of characters walking around everywhere, that each have their own look to them. There is a shit ton amount of different aliens which all have their own distinct look. Then each plotline planet has its own unique look that all look fucking fantastic as well. The facial animation system is also great. It doesn't look like the characters are chewing dog food like it does with most other games, it looks damn nice. So the graphics are pretty much just top-notch in all aspects except one. Pop-in. What the fuck is with UE3 games and this shitty fucking pop-in? Why the fuck can't the textures load with everything else? Why the fuck do I have to look like someone wiped a fucking turd across my screen for the first few seconds? Anyways, get rid of this pop-in shit. It looks awful and has to fucking go. Other than that, the game has an extreme amount of detail, varied and detailed characters and a kick ass facial animation system. The only problem is the serious lack of some hot 3D alien boobs.

Sound: So, the voice acting is fucking excellent but what else do expect from a high budget game from bioware? I know Seth Green does the voice of the captain of the ship and there is some other famous people but who gives a shit. They can all go suck a dick. The point is the the voice acting and dialog is great. Being a renegade is what men do. Paragons actions are for pussies. The dialog is fucking hilarious when being a renegade because you get to put these shit head people back in their place, which is the bottom of the food chain. The dialog is basically all well-written. The music is fucking dynamite as well, it reminds me of Deus Ex at points which is good. The gunshots could use a little more bass but atleast the explosions don't sound pussy. Point is, this game has damn good sound across the board.

Gameplay: So this game is a 3rd person action/rpg hybrid with free-form action and then rpg elements to make your character better as well as inventory/weapon purchase system. So basically you run around controlling your character in a way any typical 3rd person action game. You get some different classes to choose from which let you use tech things or biotics and other shit like that. You are pretty much a fucking pussy if you choose anything but a soldier. Only pussies need anything other than a gun to solve problems. Guns solve all problems and so does violence. Then you get a selection of four different weapons which are the pistol, shotgun, assault rifle, and sniper rifle. HINT: THE FUCKING SHOTGUN SUCKS COCK. Talk about a useless fucking weapon. Anyways throughout the game you can get better weapons and then have better and better upgrades from each weapon as well as your armor. Then as you level up you get points to put in random categories to make your character less of a whiny vagina. And then when the shit boils down you pull out your weapon and lay waste to the fucking geth who are attacking you. I REVEL IN THE BLOODSHED. The cover system also works well to hide behind shit and then zoom in to pop out and fill your enemies full of bullets. And specifically for the PC version bioware added in the pause system which lets you select actions and weapons for all of the characters in your party. Which is nice because TBH, the AI for the team mates is pretty much fucking retarded. You might as well use them as meat shields because for the most part they are fucking useless. Anyways, You can do a shit-ton of sidequests that take place on all sorts of planets that you can travel to in your own ship. Then there is also the main plotline where you can decimate all the fucking geth who stand in your way. The talking system is pretty badass as well, you can select a type of dialog based on how you want to react while the other person is still talking. This helps to make the dialog keep flowing and not seem all retarded. The combat is pretty badass too. You can just run around blowing the shit out of all the enemies who try to kick your ass and then get pissed because your weapon overheats. The RPG elements also add a nice touch which make your character feel stronger and allows you to kick more and more ass as you progress as you go through the game. The dialog system is fucking fantastic in the way it works and basically the whole damn game is a fucking blast. Its very open in that you can select wherever you want to go and progress the main story at your own pace. This game fucking kicks ass.

Story: Finally a game with a decent story that is actually enjoyable to learn about. So Saren, this shit head Spectre, which are some badasses who can do whatever the fuck they want at anytime, has went rogue and sided with some sort of sythentic alien race who allied themselves with the reapers who want to destroy all organic life. So yeah, then abunch of shit happens and you learn about why and how to fucking stop them all. Point is, the story is fucking good, and enjoyable to listen to. The characters in the game are also interesting as well and keep your interest instead of putting you to sleep. So eventually you kill Saren because he is a fucking pile of dog shit and some other shit happens. I won't spoil it this time because I'm in a good mood. Point is, you have to make some vital choices sometimes in this game which is apparently going to affect future games. The point is this game has a damn good story.

This game has a damn good story, damn fun gameplay with badass rpg elements, damn good sound, and damn good graphics. Its about damn time a game this good has come out. The only thing is the AI can be retarded sometimes 9.5/10

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Re: Mass Effect (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Friday, June 13 @ 06:28:53 EDT
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fuck ya suislide, im behind you 100% on this shit.

except for the fact i dont give a turd stank about the AI.

if i were you i would adjust the score to 10/10 before i use my shredder VII ammo upgrate and tear you a new cock ring with my +50% organics damage.

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