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TimeShift
Posted on Sunday, November 04 @ 12:33:42 EST by Suislide
FPS reviewsSo I remember the demo when this game first came out and it turned out to be a piece of shit. So they re-did the game and actually its pretty good. Its an FPS where you can alter time with your homosexual suit.

Graphics: So the closest thing I can relate the graphics to in this game is Quake 4 except they look much improved. So anyways the environments of this game is some retro-30s styled futuristic world which is in some alternative time stream. The art style is that bad at all and actually is somewhat unique environment/world. The only problem is at the first hour of the game they kind of make it look like shit with some stupid broken buildings and sewer bullshit that everyone has seen a million times before. But anyways, the environments are pretty good look ranging from huge outdoor areas with large complex factory structures or large city buildings. The textures all are all pretty good, shiny metal shit except for the bricks. The bricks in this game looked like shit even with the parallax mapping on them. The models for the characters don't look bad but everyone looks like they are fucking huge ripped guy that could tear someone apart under their armor or clothing. The weapons also have pretty good textures and models except the flamethrower pistol thing. That thing looked fucking retarded. Another kick ass thing is the gibs. Finally I hit a guy with an explosive and his legs and arms blow off his fucking torso, and also blood spatters on the screen as you beat the shit out of people. Anyways the graphics are pretty nice with sharp textures, large environments, detailed structures and good looking weapons. They also use pixel shaders extensively for the bullet trails from weapons when you slow down time and also for other shit such as huge explosions, which helps to make the explosion feel bigger. The only thing I wished they would get rid of is that stupid fucking distance blur bullshit. The background is all blurry depending on how far away it is. I don't know about most people but my eyes don't see the fucking distance as a big blur. Whoever thought of that should get cancer.


Sound: The sound is this game is just fucking mediocre. The explosions have some fucking umph behind them atleast and the gunshots don't sound too bad. The dialog in this game is just plain garbage with enemies repeating the same phrases like "HES GOT A CROSSBOW" Wow thanks Dipshit! You correctly have identified my weapon! The voice acting is nothing special either and infact gets annoying at times when the guy keeps repeating the same fucking thing over and over again. I KNOW I HAVE TO RELEASE THE GOD DAMN LOCKS FOR THE ZEPPELIN SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH. The weapon sounds are also nothing special either.


Gameplay: So you have this suit which can slow down time, reverse time, or stop time for a limited amount of time. Now this is used to solve various puzzles such as stopping time to get through fire, or reversing it to get up an elevator that is going down. It also helps in combat as you can stop time, take the enemies weapon and beat the fucking shit out of his face as blood spatters all over your screen. Nothing makes you feel better then beating a guy in the skull till he is dead. Anyways, the time puzzles are all mixed in with the combat which is pretty standard shit of just running around and shoot guys. Except its pretty damn fun to blow people away, slow down time and blow tons of shit up. There is a hell of a lot of shit to blow up in this game and its great. I love blowing shit up. There is also abunch of different weapons you can use you blow apart your enemies from an explosive crossbow, plasma gun thing, shotgun and assault rifle stuff. The game is also quite linear but that doesn't matter much as there are large environments you can get across in various ways at certain places though. So the combat is pretty damn fun and running through varied environments slowing down time and fucking people up. However the time puzzles could have been a little more creative. They were all really mundane bullshit.


Story: So some bald headed faggot named Chrone steals the Alpha time suit so you take the Beta time suit to find this mother fucking and blow him apart. In the process you help some homosexual in a gray sweater to help fight a war against him because apparently balding men rule the world in this timestream. So eventually you catch up to the faggot named Chrone (CHRONE AS IN CHRONOS AS IN TIME AHHAAH GET IT?) and as soon as you meet him there are no speeches, no fucking whining, he just pops him right in the head. Damn right. No fucking remorse.

This combat is pretty fun although the puzzles could have been a bit better 8/10

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Average Score: 4.08
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Re: TimeShift (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, October 21 @ 15:50:01 EDT
While your reviews are "honest" they lack consistency and its very obvious what types of games you like, so in that your reviews are actually pretty biased. While IGN are a bunch of overpayed chodes, you are on the other extreme, either not giving enough credit to certain games and giving a bit too much to others. I mean really an 8/10 on this game? I enjoy how you point out the flaws of games; something that most reviewers seldom do. I just think your overall scoring system is very "wack"


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