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Medal of Honor: Airborne
Posted on Saturday, September 08 @ 14:09:50 EDT by Suislide
FPS reviewsSo EA turns out another Medal of Honor game and boy does it make my nipples hard. This has to be the shortest fucking game ever released. They charge you fucking 50 dollars for about four hours of gameplay...its pathetic.

Graphics: Allright so another game using the Unreal Engine 3 and it runs pretty damn smooth. I never had any single slow down but theres probably a reason why it runs so well. The textures in this game look like fucking dog shit. Pretty much every textures from buildings, to bullet holes, to the rubble and everything else has a fucking terrible low-resolution texture on it. We can tell EA spent all of about 20 minutes working on the textures in this game. And the cheap fuckers probably don't want to buy Photoshop so it was probably done in MSPaint. Atleast thats what it looks like. The environments atleast vary from city, to forest and bunkers and other shit and the levels are decently large open areas. So its nice to have an expansive area that you are able to drop right into. Although you can see the stupid details just POP up as you get closer to the object. Takes the god damn realism out when you are falling and all the sudden a building gains some extra windows. The character models aren't that bad but they aren't anything special either. All the german and italians soldiers look just like anyone would think they would. The explosion and smoke effects are good looking and the weapon models are sufficient as well. It's just that the textures in the game are so fucking terrible. EA get your god damn dick out of the Xbox and make something that looks a bit better.


Sound: Holy fuck this game has the worst audio...some of the dialog in this game it made my balls cringe so hard it shot out my fucking pubic hair like a porcupine quill. 20 are dead now. Anyways all the guns sound fucking tinny as hell...they have absolutley no umph behind them. The explosions atleast sound nice and the ambient sounds in the background are also well done. Hearing the gunfire and explosions in the distance are all well-done. However thats about where the good sound ends at. The dialog in this fucking game is the worst garbage I have ever heard. They say stupid like "WERE GOIN OUT THERE?!" "YES...WE'RE AIRBORNE!" Wow what the fuck does that mean? You fucking airborne because i just hit you with a rocket because you are the worst fucking team mate ever. The dialog in this game is just all around hideous and mixed with the weak gun sounds it justs completley mediocre.


Gameplay: So take the same gameplay we have seen a billion times before in Call of Duty and previous medal of honor games and BAM you got fucking MEDAL OF HONOR AIRBORNE. The difference is now two things....in Airborne you can complete the objective in any order you please. Now this is good to stop the damn linear shit that the previous games where..adds some open-endedness. The other difference is the AI is now fucking worse than ever. Seriously two guys will be standing right next to each other and they won't even shoot at each other! Theres countless fucking times my useless team mates have just ran right past the enemies as they are shooting at them. Its so fucking bad that I can run right up to the enemies and just shoot them point blank. It's seriously the worst fucking AI I have ever seen in a game. Of course there is some new stupid features like you get weapon upgrades as you kill more people with that gun...they reduce recoil and shit like that. A nice touch but a tad stupid. Lastly this game is the shortest fucking game in existance...it took me a mere four hours to complete the six missions in this game. It was fun for awhile due to the open-endedness..and killing abunch of germans...but it started getting stupid with super soldiers walking around with mg42s taking clips of ammo to bring them down...FUCKING LAME. This idea is dumber than the reviewer at Gamespot who gave Tony Hawks Pro Skater 3 a 10/10.


Story: There is ABSOLUTLEY no story..you just run around and shoot germans to complete objectives...I guess the story is to win WW2 so who gives a shit.

Its better than pacific assault but still short with some stupid elements thrown in. Atleast it had some unique ideas. 6/10

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Re: Medal of Honor: Airborne (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Tuesday, September 11 @ 12:16:05 EDT
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did you text that review from ur cell phone while u were chatting with Larry Craig?


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Re: Medal of Honor: Airborne (Score: 1)
by jetbot33 on Thursday, October 04 @ 01:43:13 EDT
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wheee
http://www.spankwire.com/articles/109677/Aveena_Lee_Gives_a_Blowjob.html


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