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Gothic 3
Posted on Monday, October 23 @ 21:37:55 EDT by Suislide
RPG ReviewsIm so sorry i had to put this under the RPG because as of right now i dont have a STEAMING PILE OF SHIT category. Jowood released a fucking fetile game with tons of bugs and broken gameplay? NO WAY, that couldn't be possible. One again Jowood is here to set the standards to a new height of "not-finishing" a game as possible!

Graphics: The graphics in this game are pure and utter ass in more than one aspect mind you! Not only do they get the shittiest down with the bad art style and overall poor models and animations, they decide to make this game run slower than two old people fucking inside of an iceblock. Turn down all the details to the game and it STILL runs like shit all the while looking like shit. The post-processing effects such as depth of field just look fucking awful, everything in the background becomes a stupid blur and looks almost 2D. The models themselves are very large and clunky and have a very low poly feeling to them, not to mention if you look around inside of a village alot of the textures are just plain shit as well. Now we go the animations and OH GOD get ready to start cutting like a little emo faggot. The fighting animations look so GOD AWFUL that i snapped the dvd over my enorumous dick. Seriously when you are swinging away with your sword its the same two WEAKEST PUSSY-ASS animations one has ever seen. It literally brings a stining sensation to both my eyes and nutsack, like teleherpes. Then when you are talking with your fellow loser ass characters, it plays the same 2 animations OVER and OVER again everytime you talk, and these animations are very clunky to begin with. The enemy models are very average and uninspired at all Sure it has an expansive enviornment as well but its a very BLAND and Boring expansive enviornment, Its mostly a big grassy plain save for a few trees and unless you go to a village. Either way overall this game really hurts the eyes with its crapiness. The only plus side i can give to the graphics is possibly that there is no loading points after the inital loading of the game, but even thats not enough to save the fecal look of this game.


Sound: Oh god, why the fuck do i have to listen to this. You people should send me money for having to suffer through this shit. First of all the main character screams like a little bitch when he gets hit. And by a little bitch i mean were talking Tiny Tim after being scissor kicked in the dick. The rest of the voice acting isnt anything special but it isnt too bad either. The dialouge isnt that great but its not the worst so atleast that portion of the sound isnt too bad. The sound itself is also completley average, absolutley nothing special about it but its not that bad either. But hearing the main character scream like a bitch is the absolute lamest thing i have ever heard in a game.


Gameplay: After playing this game i now know what slavery is like. This game is a fucking piece of crap. Ok first of all there is so many damn bugs in this thing its like i just fucked a bee hive inside of a hookers ass. The combat is just completley and utterly lame with the clunkiest controls ever seen. You just click and your character swings away until the enemy is dead. Of course sometimes you need to block but not really, i was able to succesfully kill most things by swinging. But apparently if you just journey out of the camp you start in and head a little north you will be killed by stupid things such as a boar. Apparently your guy is such a weak piece of shit a boar coming out of the starting area can kill you. BUT HAVE NO FEAR when you die, your health regenerates and you come back to life. The dumbest fucking idea ever seen! So when you die, you wake back up and the enmy right next to you kills you again and again because this game is a fucking piece of shit. So after you get over the lame controls and poor ass leveling system you get to face the broken quest system. They tell you to go talk to this guy but you cant! So there you go! Thats where your fucking adventure ends! Not to mention they give you absolutley no direction of where to go ever.


Story: Who gives a shit? It sucks.

This game is trying to be an oblivion with a tiny budget 2/10

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Average Score: 2.98
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Re: Gothic 3 (Score: 1)
by D (lasergrenades@bucketofllamas.com) on Tuesday, October 24 @ 00:45:44 EDT
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The only redeeming thing about this game is that it makes the stupid asshole "gotethic iz teh bests gaes evar" crowd shut the fuck up again. Gothic 1 and 2 were fucking boring and generic and thankfully Gothic 3 is just as dismal.

There's so little decent RPGs around now that a motherfucker has to buy stuff from 1995 to have a chance of decent gameplay.

Speaking of which, it's still better than Dark Messiah of Overly Length Shitty Boring Crappy Faggot Fantasy World, but that's not much of an achievement.


[ Reply to This ]

  • Re: Gothic 3 by berzerker on Tuesday, June 30 @ 07:40:38 EDT

Re: Gothic 3 (Score: 1)
by M0nKeY on Tuesday, October 24 @ 09:50:07 EDT
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Clearly you guys have not played Gothic 1 or 2 to completion because you have ADD. They made the combat gay trying to cater to losers like you. The combat should have remained difficult like it was in the first two games. BTW You can't kill the boars because you have to train combat skills douchebag.

The problem is with your attention spans not the game. There shouldn't be a safe "starting area" were you can clean the remaining sand out of your vagina. The game wasn't made for pansies; it was made by Germans who want to shove a ball gag in your mouth and beat you with a sausage after handing political control of their country to a genocidal madman.

I guess in the real world when a boar wanders near a childs sandbox it should be weak because thats his "starting area"....

As for bugged quests, its like added "bonus difficulty".

RPGs are about story and depth not graphics and pansy ass learning curves for baby apes.


[ Reply to This ]

  • Re: Gothic 3 by Suislide on Tuesday, October 24 @ 10:59:58 EDT
    • Re: Gothic 3 by berzerker on Wednesday, November 01 @ 00:50:48 EST
      • Re: Gothic 3 by berzerker on Thursday, November 02 @ 04:06:39 EST
  • Re: Gothic 3 by Anonymous on Monday, May 07 @ 20:19:06 EDT

Re: Gothic 3 (Score: 1)
by D (lasergrenades@bucketofllamas.com) on Tuesday, October 24 @ 11:11:31 EDT
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Gothic 3 has depth and story? Fuck me, for a moment there I thought it was a stupid generic "humanz ant teh urcs, omfg!" shitty retarded storyline like it uhm... is.

Only RPGs with decent storyline I've ever played are the original 2 Fallout games, Betrayal at Krondor and Planescape. Everything else is faggatronics, especially this second rate shit made by JoWood.

Speaking of JoWood, why the fuck do they have the most retarded fucking company name in the history of the damn universe?


[ Reply to This ]

  • Re: Gothic 3 by flaming_ass_packet on Thursday, October 26 @ 22:50:51 EDT

Re: Gothic 3 (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Wednesday, October 25 @ 13:25:41 EDT
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you fucking baggenstiens. the original gothics fucking pwned your gay shit.


[ Reply to This ]


Re: Gothic 3 (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Wednesday, October 25 @ 18:19:05 EDT
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dude, gothic 3 does have its fucking problems but you can like deal with them and shit. ill give you the fact that its charcter and monster models and building textures are allitle shitty AND the glitches here and there BUT the game has the MOST defined landscapes, terrain elivations, music, STORY LINE (fuck you, their story line and non linear quests are the shit). so fucking what if the same animation is used over and over again when you talk to people, its better then oblivions fucking zoom up in your face tickle my cock bullshit.

the gothic series still holds the title for best 3d single player RPG. its better then oblivion and its way better then world of whore craft which is a fucking mmo. fallout 1 and 2 are like the best RPG evar. period. but gothic does not fall far behind. give the game a fucking chance and play it for more then 3 mins and stop being a whiney fucking spaztik tweek whore.


[ Reply to This ]

  • Re: Gothic 3 by Suislide on Wednesday, October 25 @ 19:12:20 EDT
    • Re: Gothic 3 by flaming_ass_packet on Wednesday, October 25 @ 21:36:34 EDT
      • Re: Gothic 3 by Suislide on Thursday, October 26 @ 13:32:12 EDT
        • Re: Gothic 3 by Suislide on Thursday, October 26 @ 13:32:26 EDT

Re: Gothic 3 (Score: 1)
by m9x (ret@rd) on Monday, November 06 @ 16:16:39 EST
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fully agree with this test. its accurate and non offending.


[ Reply to This ]


Re: Gothic 3 (Score: 1)
by FukinHateJOWOOD on Thursday, January 18 @ 06:59:50 EST
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Oh dear Christ in heaven, strike the creators of this steaming heap of shit DEAD! For the love of God, stop making games JOWOOD!

I suggest you Germans gather all of the villagers nearby, and storm Victor Von Fuckups castle with torch in hand.

JOWOOD should be known as the WORST game company on Earth!

Compare Ed Wood (worst director in history) to JoWood studios...get the picture? Wonder if the JoWood staff are cross dressers too? Hmmm.


[ Reply to This ]


Re: Gothic 3 (Score: 1)
by berzerker on Friday, May 15 @ 02:23:42 EDT
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This game has been severely patched: http://www.g3cpt.eu/download/list


[ Reply to This ]

  • Re: Gothic 3 by berzerker on Tuesday, June 09 @ 05:56:19 EDT

Re: Gothic 3 (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, September 16 @ 12:14:10 EDT
You all are a bunch of hair brained douche dick ass lickers, quit complaining and find another game


[ Reply to This ]

  • Re: Gothic 3 by Anonymous on Monday, September 17 @ 03:55:55 EDT
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