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Call of Duty 2
Posted on Wednesday, November 02 @ 20:27:03 EST by Suislide
FPS reviewsA sequel to what i gave Game of the Year to for 2003. Now its back and it still kicks fucking ass (except for one or two minor things). If you dont like Call of Duty you are a fag of the highest level.

Graphics: Ok, so many people are bitching about performance in directx9 because in that mode almost everything is bump mapped. AND EVERYFUCKING THING IS. The buildings the characters random shitty objects throughout the game. Now of course this causes the game to run like a pile of granny ass for most people. So alot have been turning it to direct x 7 which looks like a pile of dog shit. It looks the first game which came out 2 years ago when you put it in that mode. Why the hell would anyone want that... you lose most of the bump mapping, alot of the detail in textures goes away, the lighting sucks dick and all the heat haze is gone. Who gives a shit though as the game kicks ass. Now in when you have all the details up and running it in direct x9 it always seems to have the performance of a woman trying to have a baby on morphene. So there is plenty of low resolution textures and they all have this gritty look to them. Oh yeah not to mention there isnt any cool physics and alot of the character animations are in the first. Who the fuck re-uses character animations? Make new ones you lazy pussies. It doesn't look that bad but it also doesn't look that great but thats ok because it kicks fucking ass. The smoke in the game looks great, and explosions and dead ass and tities flying around everywhere. The models look smiliar to the first game except with bump mapping. The weapon models dont look like anything special. So some parts look shitty while others look quite good. The water looked like ass which is retarded as hell as it looks great in the first game.


Sound: Hell yeah the sound still fucking kicks ass. Explosions everywhere, tons of gunshots, people screaming, grenades through. The ambiance sounds also sound kick ass. Finally a game where the gunshots doesnt like someone wiping their ass across the microphone. They are a quick pop which is what an actuall gun sounds like. The ambiance kicks ass as you can hear gunshots, explosions and shit exploding in the background. The dialouge is kind of lame as hell but who fucking cares which shit is exploding everywhere. The audio still kicks ass.


Gameplay: Here the main kick ass portion. You run around and use your iron sights to blow away tons of germans from the russian, british and american side. Holy fucking do you kick ass, explosions happening everywhere, gunshots and explosions all around you as people die. Hell i fucking cut off a guys leg and stabbed it in his forehead then kicked him through a 4th story window and rolled on the around pulled out the sniper and shot each of his testicles. Yeah you can actually do that in the game. Hide behind cover then blow away tons of germans and go do the objectives like blow up some other shit and then kill some people and maybe blow up some more shit. Some of the missions tend to be too smiliar to the first game. Also the last mission was a dissapointment as here i was expecting A HUGE FUCKING finale when actually it wasnt anything special which pissed me off. The game still had tons of ass kicking happening everything and basically plays just the first game. The new gay things they included now though are rechargable health and a button to throw a grenade like a fucking all-star baseball player. I prefer the health system in the old game, but now your health recharges. OH MAN YOU TOOK SOME BULLETS! Well the fucking doctor says hide behind this concrete slab and you will be fine in 5 seconds! Makes the game too damn easy... and they probably did it to save time so they didnt have to put health packs around the levels. Also now you just press a button for a grenade instead of happing to equip and throw. Not to mention he fucking throws this thing like 500 yards... and could knock some old womans ass flat out through a window and blow up the sweater she was knitting. The AI is pretty much the same as the first game. Despite this garbage the game still fucking kicks ass and you can blow tons of shit up!


Story: So you are russian, then british, then american. Well the russian mission kicked ass and the british were fun to but something was lacking in the american missions. Way to fuck up. The game still rocks though with death everywhere. There isnt really a story but who gives a shit!

More ass kicking and death everywhere 9/10

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Half-Life 2

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Votes: 21


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Re: Call of Duty 2 (Score: 1)
by Caine on Thursday, November 03 @ 08:11:49 EST
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Ah, greetings again mortal.
This time it was almost possible to decipher the text, almost. between all the "oh man, this fucking kicks fucking ass!" there is very little actual content. Where is the information, the techincal details we long for. Answer: nowhere. I think if i could summarize your review it would be something like this: "I liked the first game, I like this game. Yay, it rocks!". Something like that add any number of "fuck", "kicks ass", "Oh my god this rocks!", etc. in every sentence and ta-da, you have a review! CoD2 is a greatgame and deserve a 9/10 score but you do not motivate it. Personally I don't think "THIS GAME FUCKING KICKS FUCKING ASS!" is a good argument. You have made up your mind and thus it becomes a complete waste of time even reading your review.
Enough said, we will speak again.

Yours´sincerely
Caine


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Re: Call of Duty 2 (Score: 1)
by Mean_MOFO on Thursday, November 03 @ 11:21:12 EST
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Caine, if you want to read good reviews, you read my reviews aight. I'll write some shit soon just to fix this site a bit with some quality material.
aight take care niggaz


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Re: Call of Duty 2 (Score: 1)
by Ny24 on Thursday, November 03 @ 13:42:29 EST
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Okay, this review sounds to me like this.

The graphic is shit like in the first game, the sound rocks but who cares? The gameplay is fucking retarded like in the first game, but they added some new features, that are shittier than in the first game. Also there is no gameplay... like ... um.. in the first CoD? Oh yes and of course its too short.

But it still rocks?

Although it was funny to read ^^


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Re: Call of Duty 2 (Score: 1)
by Caine on Monday, November 07 @ 08:26:15 EST
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Damned right. It would be nice to actually read why te game is so good instead of reading "THIS GAME KICKS ASS!" as an argument for a 8/10 score. But you can't have it all, can you? Excellent reviews is a luxury these days...


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Re: Call of Duty 2 (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Wednesday, November 16 @ 04:40:05 EST
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*yawn* starting off as the rusians is gay, i mean who cares about russia, i dont. i dont care about much of anything. i like cheez, in cans. oh ya the voice acting sucked ass.


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Re: Call of Duty 2 (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Wednesday, November 16 @ 04:47:25 EST
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also, back in ww2 people only said stuff like "GERMAN GRANDE TAKE COVER!!" and "GET IN THOSE TRENCHES". its true they really did. i walked into an einglish pub and the bartender yelled: "GERMAN GRANADE TAKE COVER" and i dove down behind the bar and knocked down a bunch of shit, and then the bartender yelled "GERMAN GRENADE TAKE COVER!!" which apperntly the second time ment "wtf are you doing?" and then he yelled "GERMAN GRENADE TAKE COVER!!" which seemed like it ment somthing like "get the fuck out of my bar" and then he killed me.


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Re: Call of Duty 2 (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Wednesday, November 16 @ 05:58:45 EST
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so the next day i brought over a german grenade just to fuck with him and when he saw it, he just ignored me like the shielok jew he is.


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Re: Call of Duty 2 (Score: 1)
by Mean_MOFO on Wednesday, November 16 @ 13:47:24 EST
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The world needs more flaming_ass_packets.


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Re: Call of Duty 2 (Score: 1)
by Kalafan on Thursday, April 27 @ 04:57:45 EDT
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Funny thing, is German grenades from WWII actually WERE in the rough shape of a dildo (thin dynamite-like stick with a small tomato sauce can on the end). The people bitching in here need to get a fucking sense of humor.


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