Video Games Suck  
  Create an account
  
Menu
· Home
· Article Archive
· Downloads
· Forums
· Private Messages
· Screenshots
· Search
· Submit a Review
· Surveys
· Top 10
· Your Account
Login
Nickname

Password

Security Code: Security Code
Type Security Code

Don't have an account yet? You can create one. As a registered user you have some advantages like theme manager, comments configuration and post comments with your name.
Online
224 guest(s) and
0 member(s)

You are Anonymous user. You can register for free by clicking here
Fable: The Lost Chapters
Posted on Wednesday, September 21 @ 18:01:01 EDT by Suislide
RPG ReviewsMore like fable the lost piece of shit game that should have never been released. I wish these garbage ass lost chapters would stay lost. And not just lost i dropped it in the ocean lost. LOst i fucking set the game on fire, threw it in a dumpster, has the dumpster dumped on abunch of kids with down syndrome lost. Basically this shitty game is an insult to rpgs.

Graphics: The graphics in this game are about the only thing that is good about it and they arent that special at all. First of all the models all look fine and so do the characters and weapons. Most of the textures on the guys are nice looking except on the armor it looks like someone shit on the keyboard to make that textures. The graphics are bright which is good because im sick of every fucking game where i have to turn up the god damn gamma because the developers make it so fucking dark as if they were using the Ray Charles engine. The problem is there is about 3 different models for the armor. Oh wow you guys put a whole lot of effort into that. There is hardly any variance in the swords or anything else for that matter. What the fuck, did they just fall asleep and say HEY lets just rexturture that hunk of crap and then give it a new name and make it more powerful. Thats about all they did.

The envionments are all nice except they are about as small as my penis and im hung like a bee. Ha no im not you faggots. 10 inches. The enviornments even had good design to them which is surprising because the design of the rest of the game sucks the fat cock of a donkey. So the graphics are quite good, and oh yeah the shadows are fucked up. Other than that the graphics are actually pretty well done except i cant say the same about the rest of this trash ass game.


Sound: Well the sound in this game makes me want to stab myself in the balls. The voice acting is all garbage. Everyone sounds like a homosexual retard trying to get into each others pants with an ice pick. What the fuck does that even mean. Ill tell you what it means is that the voice acting is garbage. The dialouge is stupid as hell and sounds like it was taken out of some movie written by Uwe Bolll. "You were then a child and moved on to being an adult" SWEET awesome dialouge. Not to mention it was read to you by a man who sounds like he was pumped full of testosterone. Also the guildmaster in this game has a way to contact you by some bullshit badge on your chest. Really this means he is just going to annoy you the whole fucking game with shit you already heard. I heard the same god damn thing "YOU HAVE NEW QUERSTS ZOMFG" or "YOU SHOULD LEVEL UP TO BECOME MORE POWERFUL". Wow. thanks gramps for that genius insight. There is no varience in the sounds for the blade slashes. Just one sound you hear over and over which is homosexual. You never talk the whole game so your character doesnt even have a voice. Jack of Blades sounds like a dumbass. Basically the sound in this game is nothing special at all.... its just boring.


Gameplay: This is the area the game rocks the most. And by rocks the most i mean stone the fucking developers for making this. Ok so lets start out with a little bit about how the game works. You get quests from your guild or from people around the city...thats all nice and fine. You can go and upgrade your character from getting exp for each category (archery, weapons, magic, and general). So basically how much you use of each category is what you get for xp and the general is just extra. Then you can update at the guild hall. You get the xp and money from quests and you can make your character stronger and buy new armor at the various shops located in the towns. You also get a multiplier as you fight longer without getting hit to gain more xp.

Now onto the problems with the game. First of all the game was 8 fucking hours long. 8 hours even with the AWESOME COOL lost chapters. This has to be the shortest rpg on earth... and the worst. What fucking rpg takes 8 hours to beat. HELL max payne 2 or call of duty is longer than this game. Also you pretty much max out your character about 3 hours into the game. Also because of this and this skill where flames shoot flames out of the ground. This is stupid because once you get this nothing can touch you and the game is pretty much over. The puzzles are not even puzzles more like you just running around to the stupid green dots they put on the map for you. The quest are all the same fucking stupid shit you have done before. GO AND PROTECT THIS SWEET FARM AND SHIT HIS DAUGHTERS TITS. GO AND FIGHT THIS GUY AND BEAT HIM. GO AND ESCORT THIS GUY AND THEN BEAT SOME GUY AND SHIT ON HIS TITS AND RAPE HIS DAUGHTER. Some parts i made up but that basically summarizes the varience in quests. Its the same stupid 3 types of quests we have all seen before . So you also have alignment of good or evil.... and there is 2 different endings. Even this is fucking stupid because actions having consequence bullshit has been around for ages. This isnt revolutionary you lying pieces of shit. The developers and there marketers should all be stabbed in the dick. Planescape torment, bladurs gate 1 and 2, kotor. Thats just a few where your actions affect the outcome.

Also the rpg elements suck as its basically a boring as s hack and slash game with some slight rpg elements. Not to mention everyone you meet in the game world is a faggot. There isnt a single rememberable character in this game. Not even yourself. Also the lost chapters extra was just plain stupid but more in the next section.


Story: You start off as a kid and then someone burns your village down. Next this guy takes you into this guild and helps you out to become a warrior. Then you become an adult . This happens about in 30 minutes of the game. Then you do some lame quests that have nothing to do with the story. Eventually this boss guy says he wants this sword and needs your blood, you kill him and then it ends. This game doesnt even really have a fucking story. Basically your family gets killed because they are abunch of pussies then this guy wants your blood to get a powerful sword but you stop him. This main enemy comes out of no where too.

The lost chapters is you go to this stupid island and find the boss guy you defeated comes back as a dragon. Wow. You guys were really fucking grasping at straws for that one. So basically the story of fable must have been written by a dead horse. They threw a fucking dead horse carcass on a keyboard with ms word open and blame out came the story for this game.

What a hideous RPG 2/10

Related Links
· RPG Reviews
· News by Suislide


Most read story in RPG Reviews:
Star Wars: The Old Republic

Article Rating
Average Score: 2.54
Votes: 72


Please take a second and vote for this article:

Excellent
Very Good
Good
Regular
Bad


Options

 Printer Friendly  Printer Friendly

 Send to a Friend  Send to a Friend

Threshold
  
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

Re: Fable: The Lost Chapters (Score: 1)
by D (lasergrenades@bucketofllamas.com) on Thursday, September 22 @ 03:08:37 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message)
Fable's not really a RPG, but...



TBH, I have to agree on most of the review. Like all molyneux games, it has high hopes in development and massive flops in reality.


[ Reply to This ]


Re: Fable: The Lost Chapters (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Sunday, September 25 @ 11:36:09 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message)
the game should be called feeble. because it was designed and is played by people with feeble minds. playing this game gives you brain damage, it is the mental equivlency of falling off a motor cycle going 80. ive read the official devolopers commentary of this game, it wasnt made by a dead horse thorwn onto a keyboard with notepad open, good guess thoe. it was really made by throwing a computer into a fireplace (hence where they got the idea of the town burning down) and then taking the melting keyboard and plastering it on their face. forming crude words and grunts out of the keys that managed to stick onto their face, the fable story line was born. this game is so lame that norton antivirus now detects it as a virus and trys to clean it off your computer, hell, even microsoft made a patch for this game... the "keep fable from accendently installing just incase your blind annd deaf" patch is on its way soon.


[ Reply to This ]


Re: Fable: The Lost Chapters (Score: 1)
by AdolfHitler on Monday, December 05 @ 16:14:24 EST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I want to kill that faggot ass Peter Molyneux for making this pile of shit.


[ Reply to This ]


Re: Fable: The Lost Chapters (Score: 1)
by Darkmage on Saturday, June 17 @ 00:38:16 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message)
I laughed my ass off at your twisted sense of humor. I guess I'm a sick asshole too, so we have at least one point in common.
I have played the game from both ends (good & evil) and found it to be highly entertaining. Short, yes. Entertaining , definitely.
Like what can you get away with? I grabbed the old bitch from Rose cottage and married to her....."Sad but True" Go Back to the cottage and her clone is there......I LOVE to pick a game apart.
I find the game simple minded. If you can get shield maxed and just stroke the weapon of your choice with an ocassional flurry, you are good to go. Few spots where a good bow comes in but not critical.
Or you can just be an asshole and max Enflame right off the bat and nothing will touch you.
No matter. The game is rigged for you to win. Period. It sucks.


[ Reply to This ]


Re: Fable: The Lost Chapters (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Wednesday, April 24 @ 07:02:04 EDT
Laughed my ass of at this review...

I typed in falbe 1 sucks and it brought me here and i pretty much agree with everything, sweet review. But you forgot to mention the shitty buggy choppy game engine that looks like it runs at 5 fps, maybe thats an xbox EXCUSIVE tho. It looks like it was built on a 3d engine from 1998. And the bland ass graphics shitty textures and animation, overly bright to try and make up for it which it doesnt, faggy stupid ugly kid with a stupid stick tutorial, oh and most NPC's all use the same model, every man is a ugly bald child molester looking dude. I have met that guy like 100 fucking times but I guess it was a different guy every time, coulda fooled me...

funny most ppl seem to really like this game but i fucking hated it

i guess 1 and 3 suck but I thought 2 was pretty fucking good once you get past the start and turn the bullshit glowing trail for fucking retards off


[ Reply to This ]


Re: Fable: The Lost Chapters (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Friday, May 17 @ 22:53:59 EDT
This is the only sane review of this pitiful game.

About half and hour into the game I got the berserker spell. Guess what it does: makes you so powerful everything you attack dies in 1-3 blows, and they can't block.

Ace.

So the game was effectively over at that point.

I can't believe how shittily balanced it is. Just completely incompetent. Literally zero challenge. I thought it was just the spell I picked, but from the sound of it, they're all equally ridiculous.


[ Reply to This ]

Video Games Screenshots Movies Images Reviews News New Video Game Sucks VGS Online
Logos and trademarks on this site are property of their respective owner. Comments are property of their posters, the rest is ©VGS
Page Generation: 0.082 Seconds