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The "OMFG HALO 3!!!" Bitch Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2006 8:01 pm Reply with quote
Kalafan
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Well, it's apparently coming in 2007: http://www.bungie.net/News/TopStory.aspx?link=Halo3Announcement

Okay, I watched the trailer, and here's the impression it left on me (fuck what the article says, Communism looked good on paper, too):

The graphics were boss, but they ALWAYS look that way in the trailers and promotional screens. The whole "Cortana flicker" phenomenon was bad enough without the retarded distorted sounds constantly emnating from it like a severely damaged audio recording of Jen Taylor moaning as my work mule "El Chocha Grande" gives it to her in the ass. Shortly after Cortana talks dirty to Master Chief, we see a HUGE environment, what looks to be the epicenter of a future Mega-Nuke testing facility or something, but what it really is is probably much cooler than that. Either way, that doesn't matter, because the music sounds like a cheap ripoff of this stuff: www.edgen.com/reel

Anyways, I remember this retarded tactic from Halo 2, where they create (the illusion of) a huge environment like a giant lake or a huge alien city, and give you a bunch of tiny-ass paltforms and buildings overlooking it to fuck around with instead of letting you participate in something resembling a large-scale war (that's supposedly taking place during the game!) in a massive environment. Oh, but the platforms still give you a dandy view of the huge scenery, and that's good enough for us BungieButt-Fuckers, yes sir! Bullshit. Maybe if Bungie hadn't bump-mapped everything to death they'd have been able to give us more than five guys max to assault with, fags. I won't be suprised if they do the same damn thing again in this one.

On a related note, the urban combat in Half-Life 2 (where Gordon links up with the active Resistance forces in the heavily urban areas) blew the living shit out of Halo 2's piss-poor counterpart (Hey! Some cybernetic cliche and about ten under-trained Marines should be able to take on well over 200 heavily-armed aliens no problem!), and anyone who's played through the single player campaigns on both those games can see this. I'd advise the Bungie nerds (who have a 3rd-grader's perception of what war is like) to attempt simulating urban warfare ONLY after extensively viewing hours-worth of unedited, real-world urban combat footage, be it that grainy-ass shit from Hue in '68, to either of the Russian sieges of Grozny, to any shit to come out of Fallujah or Mosul in the past three years.

Anyway, where was I, oh yeah, back to the cum-guzzling trailer. Looking at the thing on a whole, it seemed to be little more than Bungie making a fagtastically overblown tribute to their overrated series of self-inflicted Marathon ripoffs. Seriously, Bungie more or less copied the Halo story from their ancient Marathon series, only bothering to change the names of the alien factions and characters. I might rent Halo 3 just to see how much farther they can slide this one into overrated mediocrity than the last one.
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 1:25 am Reply with quote
M0nKeY
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That trailer kinda sucked.... The transformer walked to the edge of a cliff with a giant glowing anus. Woopty do.

I still don't understand why people liked Halo 1.

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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 6:56 pm Reply with quote
Fuckinghateyou
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M0nKeY wrote:
That trailer kinda sucked.... The transformer walked to the edge of a cliff with a giant glowing anus. Woopty do.

I still don't understand why people liked Halo 1.


Because they are retarded... They only liked Halo1 because you get to play a game that is 'Revolutionary' yeah... fucking right, revolutionary, a record player is more revolutionary then Halo1... second one wasn't better, they said,'it'll all be city combat.' Bullshit, you get 30 minutes of earth combat then your back on another shitty halo...

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PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2006 4:10 pm Reply with quote
flaming_ass_packet
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wow you are a fucking idiot. all of you.

playing by yourself gets fucking boring, the best gaming experience you can have is playing against other real fucking people. no AI can ever properly simulate this... the feeling you get when you out-wit an actuall human, its wonderfull. so when it comes to playing against humans, what better game to play then a FPS? FPS's are most action packed and invovle the most quickest reflexes and shit... so wtf, lets review the console FPS games... for ps2 theres the socom shit WHICH FUCKING BLOWS DICK. and for xbox theres the halo series, which OWNS YOUR DICK. everything in halo is set up really nice, including the physics, it just has the mad leet ownage vibe that you cant fucking ever get on any playstation title. stop playing your stupid japaneese misaroogie pom-pom egg hunter games and pick up some ownage you fucking console statistic peice of shit 8 year old child of a gamer.

oh and also, the online support for xbox games is way better thn psJEW.

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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2006 2:13 pm Reply with quote
Kalafan
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Assboy, calm the fuck down, and also try to construct your posts in a manner that DOESN'T lower the IQs of everyone unfortunate enough to read them. Anyways, the multiplayer get's pretty lackluster after a while, too. While the original couldn't be played over X-Box Live, and reeked of "dumbed down for console," at least it could boast a couple of genuinely big maps, with more added to the PC version. Halo 2 looks better, has more weapons, and a few more gametypes, but sacrificed map size for this. Now we've got "big" maps that are crowded with retarded hills and constructs that only serve to further limit the amount of "wide open" navigable space. I can get from one base to the other in a hog in less than 15 seconds. Oh, and not only is the boost function on the Ghosts and Banshees retarded, it also serves as one of the MANY glaring inconsistencies between the original and the sequel. I guess the developers wanted to "balance" things to the point of outright annoyance. Oh, and their guns are adjusted for different projectile velocities, too, just in case you thought that Ghost's cannons were intended to be used offensively beyond 30 feet.

The original Halo's n00b tube was the pistol, which, having a barrel 1/8 the size of the Assalut Rifle's yet being eight times as accurate, didn't make sense, so they just switched it to a "recoiless" assault rifle firing 9.5 mm (which is bullshit, 7.62mm jerks the G3's muzzle around to the point of making automatic fire practically worthless beyond 20 feet, I doubt something bordering on 10mm is going to be only slightly less controllable than that wussy-ass 5.56mm round that McNamara helped stick the military with). Then there's the Brute Shot, which is essentially a retarded hybrid of the Needler and the Halo 1 Rocket Launcher. The thing with the vehicles' damage being in proportion to the condition of it's driver's shields is retarded, too.

Beyond that, I see that MC's armor in Halo 3 looks new, but has taken a shift away from the "paintball pansy" crap we saw in Halo 2. Hmm, could this new suit be THE MARK VII?!??!!!! (in reference to Bungie's masturbatory fetish with inserting the number "7" throughout their games. I guess it's either a retarded way of paying homage to Eureka Seven, or they're Freemasons.)
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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2006 2:50 pm Reply with quote
Mean_MOFO
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your IQ couldn't possibly drop lower than it originally is. you fucking poser fag. go prance around in your mother's underwear and join your fucking gay parades. fight for your homo rights by flopping your dick and wearing horrible ammounts of make up you fucking drag queen.

edit: noted. holla!


Last edited by Mean_MOFO on Thu May 18, 2006 5:37 am, edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2006 2:46 am Reply with quote
M0nKeY
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Mean_MOFO wrote:
your IQ couldn't possibly drop lower than it originally is. you fucking poser fag. go prance around in your mother's underwear and join your fucking gay parades. fight for your homo rights by flopping your dick and wearing horrible ammounts of make up you fucking drag queen.


This is not the general flaming forum.

At least throw the word halo in there or somthing.

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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2006 2:43 pm Reply with quote
flaming_ass_packet
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WAAAAAaaAaAAHHHHHh im whining about the fucking pistol in halo1.

hey jack ass, its the future. believe it or not your primitive day rocks and fire physics dont apply to the year 3,694,499,023.

could it be possible that the best weapon in the game could come in a small package? mabey it using shit your not aware of, like some technology material shit.

anyways, its not like you cant find a pistol in halo1.
there everywhere. so your excuse is, i cant own with the pistol, i demand that the game be made in a way that conforms to me being a noob.

also, the machine gun is rapid fire, that means your going to lose accuracy no matter what year you live in. dosent matter if the barrel is longer cause in the future the bullets and barrel are crafted so fine that it eliminates the need for a longer barrel for accuracy.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 12:01 am Reply with quote
jimbobjimmy
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Fuck Halo and fuck microsoft. never fucking say either word again or ill rape you all.
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 1:39 pm Reply with quote
Kalafan
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jimbobjimmy wrote:
Fuck Halo and fuck microsoft. never fucking say either word again or ill rape you all.


Halosoft Microbungie crapendium of Fuel Rod anal action. icon_biggrin.gif

#2's campaign had next to no replay value, which more or less writes it off as a lengthy extra included with the bulk product of multiplayer. My hopes for #3 aren't high to begin with, so I won't be severely depressed like all the rabid fanboys, should it turn out to be updated crap like its predecessor. If Bungie does things right, we may see multiplayer maps approaching the size of the smaller BF2 ones, and perhaps 20-plus player gametypes, but what do I know, I don't read their Pravda weekly updates of half-promises.
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 9:39 am Reply with quote
D
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Yawn.

Halo1's DM was good - on the Xbox. Once it came to PC I believe I got 8000 kills without switching off the pistol and decided the game was gayer than the original medal of honor, due to the easyness of getting a TSK when you have a mouse instead of a boystick.

Halo2 just sucks entirely and requires absolutely no skill whatsoever to pwn in DM. Pick up sword, lunge lunge lunge lunge lunge lunge lunge lunge you have won yay that was an easy CPL match.

And Marathon blows. People too often have the rose tinted lenses bullshit going on and like old crappy games far more than they should do. There's good old games but there's also shit old games.
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 8:36 am Reply with quote
gaypeoplesuck
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i'd love to see you come up with something better. you fucking ignorant bastards really have no fucking idea about what the cortana flicker thing was about or wtf the ark is or what the fuck the master chiefs real name was.
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 3:30 pm Reply with quote
TMBghostX
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Fuck halo and the company who made that dumbass game. Perfect dark is 4 times better then any of the games those jackass's has ever made.


YA POWER TO RARE !!!!! icon_cheers.gif icon_geek.gif icon_cheers.gif icon_geek.gif icon_cheers.gif icon_geek.gif icon_farao.gif
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 5:45 am Reply with quote
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...
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The "OMFG HALO 3!!!" Bitch Thread
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