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Stormrise
Posted on Tuesday, March 24 @ 23:52:42 EDT by Suislide
RTS ReviewsSEGA failed so hard with that piece of shit dreamcast. Somehow they managed to stick around to make abunch of shitty fucking games. Apparently the new Sonic games weren't enough to make everyone fucking puke themselves to death. So they try and pass off this fucking game as something that is actually acceptable. It's not...Sega proves themselves by making another totally shit game. This is game basically only like 50% game since half the fucking time you can't do anything, so this game is a 50% RTS.

Graphics: Ok first of all, why the the fuck do they record cut scenes with the in-game engine when it looks worse than the fucking game itself? Seriously the cut scenes in this game look like bloody hemorrhaging cunt. They are pixelated, jagged, and look like complete and general shit. The graphics themselves in the game are pretty damn awful as well. And when I say awful I mean they look like someone is still using the Renderware engine because it looks AWFUL. Every single map is a big block with chunks of shit laying all around. None of the environments are any cool, its either a burnt down village, or a burnt down part of the city. It isn't creative and its pretty much just lame all the way around. Infact the models and textures all look like absolute shit, seriously is this game from 5 years ago and they just released it now? Pretty much the graphics are crap.


Sound: The dialog in this game gives me intestinal gonorrhea. They just fucking yap and yap and its the absolute stupidest dialog that its so hard to pay attention to. Seriously, doesn't Sega know how to write things that don't make me want to tear my fucking dick off in anger? The voice actors they hired didn't help their case either as it sounds like I feel after fisting my ass. This is the kind of game where they just fucking yap and yap and you get more and more irritated because its the most inane babble you have ever heard. SEGA sucks so much ass when it comes to making games. It doesn't help that the game is totally missing any sort of ambient sounds when you play making everything feel empty. The music and the weapon sounds all suck ass too.


Gameplay: I would love to review the gameplay for this game except there is no fucking gameplay! This literally even a fucking game as you don't really do anything. So the first level irritates the shit out of me because it has a tutorial that won't let you skip through it and it has the LONGEST and most BORING dialog for the most simpliest fucking tasks. Seriously it takes them a fucking year to get through how to click the fucking mouse to move. There is also, stupid shit like right clicking and switching which unit of men you are moving. Too bad that's about the entire fucking game. You can either move your main squads or others squads around a big fucking stupid box of a level. You can't fire your weapon, it does that automatically, but its about as responsive as a person in a coma. There is no gameplay here, you just walk around and click and then it just fires automatically. That is the whole game.


Story: The story is retarded in something like we found a way to control weather but accidentally set everyone on fire. They managed to save some humans but apparently there is a shit ton of humans now. Then they all fight these other evil looking creatures. I didn't actually beat the game because it was so fucking terrible that it made me want to stomp on my nuts. The story sucks.

This game is like cancer on my nuts 2/10

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