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Command & Conquer 3
Posted on Wednesday, May 02 @ 14:03:59 EDT by Suislide
RTS Reviewsm9x writes "morons ahoy

this was one of the last games I played on the pc (because I own a microsoft console now), and I'd like to explain how shitty this game is...

storyline: well you can choose between the bad and good guys, however the bad guys tell you they are in fact the good guys while the real good guys tell you the bad guys are the bad guys and not the good guys. ok?
and you can unlock an alien race which has some sort of mini campaign or so I heard, but I couldn't stand to play this game so long.
you get obvious objectives like bomb this, take out this, infiltrate and then bomb this, and all over again.

gameplay: it's like 10 years ago...plain, stupid and complicated although it's simple in words. you build power generators, you harvest tiberium, you create units.
but on one of those steps you will fail, if it's because you don't have enough tiberium around to create enough units or you just forget to create units because you're too busy fucking around with buildings.

graphics: some say they're great but I think they're mediocre or "ok". not more than current gen. effects are neat, that's about it. units look shit from close.

sounds: voices sound like the actors had a fucking dog turd in their mouth while their dick is being mushed by a heavyweight boxer or something. they try to sound real serious (and some evil) but they fail horribly.
the soundeffects from units or buildings and so on are acceptable.

did I forget anything well yes closing comments. this game is like a microwave version of the older c&c titles. NO innovation, NO fucking interesting parts, NO fucking new races except ONE shitty alien race with like 4 missions, NO value whatsoever. all they did was update the graphics and some minor aspects of the game. boring campaign, boring missions, boring gameplay.

3/10 - 2 points for the effort of bringing c&c back to life, 1 point for at least including bitches in the cutscenes/movies."
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Re: Command & Conquer 3 (Score: 1)
by Kasrkin on Wednesday, May 02 @ 15:48:29 EDT
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ZOMG!!11!

C&C gameplay "plain, stupid and complicated"???? WTF is in your head?

Probably you would like some 4 years old special ed retarded with brain damage gameplay like that shit in the RTS of Lord of the Rings... didn't you?

Go play fucking Viva Piņata, Gears of War or whatever ppl who isn't fucking able to play a basic RTS would like.

This game fucking sucks the biggest dick on Earth but not because of C&C gameplay you asshole.


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Re: Command & Conquer 3 (Score: 1)
by Mean_MOFO on Thursday, May 03 @ 06:30:11 EDT
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This place turned into a fucking kindergarten. All those damn kids writing shit reviews. Kid, you smeared chocolate sprinkles all over my damn monitor with that review of yours.


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Re: Command & Conquer 3 (Score: 1)
by NiggBUILDER on Sunday, July 01 @ 13:21:39 EDT
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I FUCK M9Xs MOTHER WITH A HOT FORK WHILE I GET MOFO TO SAW HER LIPS OFF


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Re: Command & Conquer 3 (Score: 1)
by PwndYourface1504 on Wednesday, March 31 @ 01:29:01 EDT
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You think this game is bad? Play C&C 4, and you'll learn to appreciate C&C 3. Also, I don't know if your job is a professional wrestler, but more people will actually take you serious if you curse less. Lets try and use some bigger words next time you want to give a review. ;)


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