Date: Wednesday, July 10 @ 20:25:40 EDT
Topic: Action Game Reviews
Someone, somewhere decided to make a Deadpool video game and I'm not sure why. I don't know fucking shit about Deadpool and I think most superheroes and x-men are fucking gay beyond belief. The only thing I remember of Deadpool is his shitty portrayal by Ryan Reynolds in that fucking X-Men Wolverine movie. Who the fuck keeps casting that retard in their movies? He is the worst fucking actor ever. Anyways, this is deadpool the video game which is a decent action beat' em up but doesn't really do much special except for being fucking bizarre.
Apparently Deadpool is fucking insane and hears voices which tell him to do random things. He also apparently has fucked up skin and cannot die due to his regeneration, similar to Wolverine. This whole game is fucking nuts and pretty much just breaks the 4th wall constantly and can be quite funny at times. However, they are using the method of throwing so much fucking jokes at you at once that of course some of them have to stick. The game also goes off on wild 4th wall breaking tangets, i.e. when the game runs out of money and they make it look like an old shitty Zelda or Mario game.
Anyways, when you first start playing, the combat is pretty fucking stiff and boring. For the first couple of levels you will feel pretty mediocre about the game because the shooting is slow and the controls for slashing everyone aren't that fucking great. Luckily, this shit gets better as the game goes on and the combat speed and reactivity increases greatly, making it feel like less of a clunky turd. The enemy variety is mostly just fodder some who attack with melee and some who attack with guns, then there are different types of big guys with big weapons. Also, there are suicide units. Nothing really new or exciting in the enemy front, just rehashes of enemies that we have already seen before adapted for this universe.
Now the combat at first being a sucking worse than a dog's ass, you might lose interest but it gets better as goes on. That which doesn't get better is the fucking puzzles. All of the platforming and puzzles in the game are incredibly simplistic and fucking BORING. Couldn't the developers think of anything fucking better than pick up ITEM A and bring it back to POINT A. A retard could solve these puzzles, which is maybe the point because deadpool is borderline retarded. At least the game has a reason for his health regenerating.
The environments are all pretty fucking boring in the game too, and completely uninspired. SEWERS. 50% of the fucking game takes place a fucking sewer which is the LEAST interesting place in any fucking game ever. Don't these fucking retarded developers realize no one wants to play in a fucking sewer. It fools you too because you start off in a high rise office building which looks pretty cool, and then there is some deserted robot fucking idiot where you fly around in a shoe. But other than that, half of the game you just wandering around a sewer and broken down buildings. Please, try a little fucking harder next time.
The story in the game is fucking boring. Apparently some douche named Sinister is making clones and you have to stop him because...well you have absolutely no motivation to do so or the reason your character is the one to stop him. But the time travelling man and everyone else all say you fucking have to so you just tread on. Really, there isn't much to say about this game. Besides the fucking game being bizarre as hell and being incredibly vulgar, the game is really just an absolutely generic beat' em up. I enjoyed it for a few hours but grew bored the later the game when on and all of the boss battles were fucking easy as shit. Really there isn't much more to say about this game.