Serious Sam HD
Date: Wednesday, January 20 @ 23:49:09 EST
Topic: FPS reviews


Holy Shit. After the shitfest that was Serious Sam 2...I thought they were going to take this game and fucking butcher it to look like the bloody tampon that the second game looks like. HOWEVER! They kept everything the same and just made new models and textures for the game...and it looks fucking gorgeous. Still the same kick ass gameplay from Serious Sam but now it doesn't look like an old piece of shit...but a brand new game.

Graphics: This is really the only part I need to even talk about because the rest of the game is exactly the same. They updated every thing from all the levels, weapons, models and textures to look absolutely fantastic. There is the occasional low-resolution texture but overall you will be fucking blown away at the severe increase in graphical quality. The blood looks exceptionally good now and it splatters all over the place which is great. Models now look increasingly more bloody as they take more and more damage. The weapons look infinitely better and have a huge amount more of detail. The best part of this release is the leap in the graphics for the levels. No longer do they look like big ass boxy pieces of shit...well they are still fucking boxy...but there is a ton of detail added to the environments to make them look incredibly better. The graphics in this mother fucking take a nice dump onto the chest of the original game. Hell, and it was only 7 dollars on Steam which is a fucking deal and a half. The only problem I have with this new release is the lack of dedicated servers which SUCKS. That means no matter where you go, you will have absolutely puke ping. The rest though, is kick ass.

Instead of writing the same bullshit over again, since it's exactly the same game...I'll just copy and paste the old review..that's right. Suck my big lazy dick.

Sound: Sounds good. No it doesnt. The music sucks ass and all the gun shots sound kind of muffled like they are 22khz. Except for the minigun which is good.

Gameplay: OMG ITS FUCKING ROCKS. THERE A BILLION FUCKING GUYS ON SCREEN AND I CAN BLOW ALL THOSE FUCKERS AWAY IN A GIANT BLOOD FUCKING MESS. Not to mention the last boss is FUCKING HUGE. This is so great. And the main character is manly unlike all these other pussie games (Not HL though). Hes a huge guy with huge fucking muscles that can blow away anyone. Except in SS:SE and the xbox version he looks fucking gay. Like BigBoy with a huge ass, ass chin.

Story: Shit is going down with the egyptian past or something and you go to kick some ass. Lame ass story but who cares when you are blowing the shit out of hordes of guys with a giant ass minigun.

This game was beautiful and full of death. I give it a 10/10





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