Sonic Adventure DX - Directors Cut
Date: Friday, February 13 @ 15:44:05 EST
Topic: Action Game Reviews


Hurray of course the pc players get fucked over and have to wait like 3 years for a fucking game to be ported over to the pc (COUGH Halo). Well now its finally out and its not too bad.

Graphics: The graphics are completley and utterly outdated. All the textures are all really blurry and low res. Infact the quality of the textures has caused my balls to decinigrate (ha yeah fucking right, fuck you). The models for the people that walk the streets in the game are like a fucking blob of polygons. Yeah i love blocky ass chracters where it cuts off at the joints. It looks like they just fucking put rectangles somewhat close to each other and said "oh yeah thats great, were going to be rich." Dr. Robotnik must have like 200 polygons because he looks like a fat blob of shit. The other characters that do look alright are Sonic and the rest of his buttfucking friends. The enviornments dont look too bad sometimes but the shitty textures suck ass.

Sound: The voice is acting is completley shitty and the sound quality is completley crap. YEAH LETS MAKE THE SOUNDS REALLY QUIET AND ONLY 11KHZ BECAUSE WERE FUCKING STUPID. God damn japanese people. So the rest off the sounds of the bouncing and rings and shit that goes on when you are running like a mad vagina are all alright. The sound quality is just completey shitty for the speech though

Gameplay: I know what you are thinking, hmm console port this game is going to suck complete ass because anything from a console does (COUGH Halo). Actually the game is quite fun and easy to play. You just have to run really fast and shit and bounce off platforms, run around diarrhea piles. It really almost requires no skills except you have to avoid some shit and beat the stupid queer ass timelimit. Then you get other characters and they all have queer as different abilities that you use in the levels blah blah blah big fucking deal. The game is decently fun and easy to control so thats good.

Story: Dr. Robotink decides he wants to be a flappy and vagina and wants to steal chaos emralds so he can kill people. Im all for that but of course you have to get the emeralds first so Dr. RobotPussyLipsMcgee doesn't get them first. Thats pretty much the story WOW BIG FUCKING DEAL. Its the same as the first damn game.

The game is fun and stuff but it looks like shit and only a few levels are even fun5.5/10





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