Legacy of Kain: Defiance
Date: Wednesday, December 31 @ 14:48:21 EST
Topic: Action Game Reviews


Hurray! The review of the year and its for a game that doesn't suck floppy dick. The only problem this game has is THE GOD DAMN SHIT CAMERA ANGLES.

Graphics: The graphics look decent, this game was obviously on a playstation 2 first. All the textures look like shit pretty much, shitty consoles. I want some high-res clear ass textures that i can tell what the fuck im looking at like in Max Payne 2. That game had some damn good textures, and why the hell shouldnt other games... its fucking 2004 almost. The models are also kind of low poly but not too bad to the point where it looks like complete and utter anus. All the effects for the spirit world are nice looking except it seems to be mostly this annoying ghost effect. Are they fucking trying to make me go blind. Other than that all the effects seem to be pretty decent in my opinion, which is of course the most important on Earth.

Sound: There is huge lack of music in this game although when it plays it isnt too bad. You will be in this large fight, the musics going, and then it decides HAHA FUCK J00! ILL STOP! And then the atomsphere is somewhat gone, its not that bad but whatever it seems like the music just cuts out. The speech is all done fine, and of course everyone has a stupid british-like accent and the dialouge sounds like it was stole right from the fucking Lord of The Rings. "OMG WE MUST PROTECT THE BALANCE CUNT OR PUSSY ACID WILL RAIN DOWN AND KILL US ALL! QUICK TO THE PILLARS OF NOSGOTH!" That is obviously and clearly a real direct quote from the game. The sounds when ur slicing shit up are all good and when you sword gets the stupid power thingy full it sounds even better when they are all getting blown away. So the sound isnt bad.

Gameplay: The gameplay is great except for one huge thing that no game can seem to get right if their life depened on it. THE FUCKING CAMERA ANGLES SUCK HUGE SHIT. And I dont mean rabbit shit in the face... i mean elephant boulder shit right down the throat. The camera always turns the wrong way and can make jumps harder and fights annoying. Its always on a god damn angle so when i jump he decides to jump in the direction i dont want him to go and I die. YAYY THATS FUN! LOSING! Also ill be fucking pushing something, and the controls are camera relative, so he fucking pushes it a way i dont want to go just because the stupid camera angles changed. WHO DESIGNED THIS ANUS

The fighting system is easy to use and theres abunch of moves and shit and fucking back flip and slap a guy with ur dick while stabbing someone. Once you hit enough stuff, your sword powers up (shows on a bar at the bottom) and you can do more damage and then do some super move piece of shit. Also when you are Raziel you can go into the shit annoying Spirtitual World to get past shit and stuff like that. Last you either drink peoples blood or steal souls to gain health from people which is done with the press of a button. So its good and fun.

Story: Kain is doing some shit to find out what this guy Mobieus is trying fuck shit up. Raziel also wants to find out shit like why the Reaver tried to capture him and some other bullshit.And the story builds from here... It isnt too bad except for the fact you are mostly Raziel because hes gay and doesnt drink blood.

The game is fun except for the annoying ass camera angles 8.5/10





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