Uru: Ages Beyond Myst
Date: Monday, November 10 @ 18:32:54 EST
Topic: Adventure Game Reviews


Another Myst game and we all remember the last one which was a complete and total shit fest for those who havent played it. This one is sort of better, and it looks nice!

Graphics: They look fucking beautiful, and i mean such as Rate My implants beautiful. There are huge enviorments with weird fucking shit. Such as this rock thing or some other thing that does stuff. Anyways the graphics look nice and sharp and are very large terrian type pos's. The textures are all nice other than that i have no idea what the fuck to say.

Sound: Sounds nice i guess so what the fuck. The speech sounds ok on the first fat lazy white trash piece of shit you encounter and yeah. The problem lies within the lack of fucking sounds. Where the fuck is the music? What the fuck is this? I dont even need to have my sound on to play this. Jesus put some fucking ambient sounds in or something BEFORE I FUCKING FALL ASLEEP.

Gameplay: Quite different from all those other "winner" games. First you build your character, but no matter how hard you try he wont look like a badass. He will eithe be some fat black guy or some smiling asian with glasses. What the fuck cant that pussy untuck his god damn shirt? So basically this character setting up thing is fucking pointless. Why the fuck would i want to design a character? Build one for me and give it to me you cunts.

Then you start off on your first mission where you have to run 3000 feet across a desert to talk to some piece of shit fat guy with a trailer. He starts rambling on about some shit so then i just run in this temple fucking thing and start solving puzzles. The puzzles arent to bad and too annoying (MYST 1). So you can run around and shit wherever you want, and i must add the guy jumps like a complete retard. Also its hard controlling him because that shit head seems to want to do the opposite of whatever you tell him. Last you can play online and solve puzzles together but why the fuck would i want to do that? No one likes Myst.

Story: Fuck i have no clue and who cares if there is a story. All i know is im a nerd running in a desert cave solving random puzzles for no apparent reason. AND OH FUCK WHAT THE HELL i was fucking playing and then i accidently fell down this well because this dipshit is too much of an idiot to not walk into one. So i had to fucking go back to the begging and fucking run all the way back. How gay is that? Also im not sure if that was a well or i just feel through the level.

Its ok...6/10







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