Saints Row IV
Date: Monday, September 16 @ 20:42:19 EDT
Topic: Action Game Reviews
This game just feels like a fucking expansion pack, not a full game. So Saints Row IV is the sequel to the previous title but it really just seems like a really big expansion pack and not a full game. Saints Row is just a GTA clone that doesn't take itself seriously at all and is full of shitty cliches and such. They all pretty much have the same objective which is take over the city and this one is pretty much more of the same. Well, it's kind of fun, but it's not as good as Sleeping Dogs. Anyways, read my fucking review.
So the game starts out with you doing some raid on a shitty factory with some characters from the previous game. And while it is funny that Aerosmith starts playing when you are climbing on a nuke to disable it, the rest of the game is just a collection of mini-games. So you become the president of the united states, which would be cool, except all that doesn't fucking matter 10 minutes later when you get invaded by aliens and put into a simulation. Already my big bloody boner just got soft so fast that it fell down and crushed my cat. Nothing is worse than being in a simulation in a game because that just means it's all "fake" and thus bears less on the story. Anyways, so the objective of the game remains the same as all the previous games which is take over the city, except now a simulation, and defeat the alien invasion that is happening.
There really is only a fucking handful of main quests in this game where you save your allies and then attack Ziniyak with some power armor at the end of the game. The content in this regard is sorely fucking lacking. That said, the quests are quite fun and over the top. You will go around blowing the living fucking shit out of everything around you with tanks, tons of guns, including the DubStep gun which causes everyone in the area to dance, and basically just kill mass amount of enemies during the main quest portions. I actually enjoyed fucking playing these parts but the lack of content outside of that is pretty fucking awful. So the rest of the game consists of side quests which are really just a collection of fucking mini-games you do in the fake ass city.
So the city is Steelport again and looks exactly the same as the previous game. All you do is go around and do these miniguns like running collecting powers, shooting an area full of enemies to take control, climb a tower, destroy things in a certain amount of time and shoot the fuck out of aliens at certain points. The shoot is pretty weightless but once you upgrade the weapons at all the shops it is pretty fun. You get super powers this time around and one of them is super speed and super jump which means the cars in this game are absolutely useless. You won't ever want to use a car because it's just too fucking slow. You get other super power bullshit too like a super stomp, freeze hands and other shit like that. The powers can be pretty enjoyable and the shooting is alright. Now the minigames aren't bad in and of themselves for providing extra content but when thats ALL there is, the game gets pretty fucking repetitive.
The worst part is that you have all these buildings which have giant Neon signs all over them but barely any of them are used. It is really just more of you running around on the streets killing shit. Overall, it's kind of a fun game with being so over the top and while the story is completely useless, it's pretty fun to play with the major problem being that it is REPETITIVE AS FUCK. You better get used to repeating the same fucking tasks over and over because if you just do the main missions, the game is like fucking 4 hours long. That's shorter than my dick. Which leads me to believe this game was originally going to be an expansion pack and some studio fuckface decided to push the thing out as a brand new game. Dicks.