Resident Evil 4
Date: Monday, August 05 @ 20:01:13 EDT
Topic: Action Game Reviews
Holy fucking fuck, 9 years later and this game still kicks ass. This game was my favorite game of all time back on the gamecube and I saw the HD version was discounted on the PS (Piece of Shit) store so I bought it immediately. The HD version came out a while ago but I finally got around to playing it and holy fuck it's still fucking good. I don't care if this game is old it's better than any game to date.
Well let's get into it quickly. This is an old game so the review won't be too long.
Holy fuck this game still outclasses every fucking third person shooter to date. Pretty much every fucking TPS game these days got its ideas from this game. This game made shooting enemies in the face for 20 hours FUN. Blowing off a head never fucking got old. The game also changes it up every now and then to keep it exciting. They give you fucking mine carts, they give you fucking harpoons, they give you fucking creepy mazes, oh you want some jet skis too? This game has that as well. This game's got it all. This game kicks fucking ass. Why can't Capcom make games like this anymore? Some people complain that this game wasn't as scary as the originals and that the puzzles were way too easy. Who the fuck wants to solve puzzles in a zombie game? The puzzles in the originals were boring as fuck and pointless filler to make the games seem longer. The original RE's weren't even fucking scary. They just had a shitty camera and shitty controls to make up for the fact that it wasn't scary. Some people actually want them to put the overhead camera in the next RE game, Fuck no. The overhead camera was acceptable in the PS1 era but not now. The older RE's sucked balls and you know it. Metal Gear Solid had an overhead camera and it was 1000000000x better than the shitty RE games. They weren't even fucking scary. The only thing scary about them was the shitty controls. How many people do you know would be that fucking slow when zombies are chasing them? RE4 is better in every conceivable way, and manages to be pretty creepy at times even though it doesn't shitty camera angles. The inventory in this game also kicks ass because you can carry multiple weapons at once but have to choose what weapons and how much space you will leave for healing herbs, ammo, etc. It makes you really think about what you will carry and makes it a little more tactical. This game also gives a ton of content since you got the main game, which is around 20 hours long. A kick ass Professional mode ( New game +) an awesome round wave type mode called Mercenaries, an extra 5-6 hour campaign where you play as this hot chick named Ada who is one of the characters in the game, another hour long minigame where you play as her collecting stuff, and a ton of costume, bottle caps, and weapons to unlock. It also has a lot of secrets in game. I fucking love this game and hate Capcom for abandoning all this cool shit. The bosses and weapons kick ass as well. The game also manages to be hard but not frustrating because when you die it's usually your fault.
The sound in this game fucking rocks. The quality may be outdated but interestingly enough it still beats every game out there in terms of atmosphere and shit. The sound in this game makes you feel like you're fucking there. The thunder and rain, the chantings of the enemies, the creepy regenerator sounds, this game is fucking awesome. The sound in this game kicks ass. I masturbated to the sound of ashley crying out for leon like a little bitch. The VA is not bad, the dialogue is cheesy but it's almost perfectly delivered and made me crack up quite a bit.
Ok this HD port sucks ass but since it's a 9 year old game I'll give it some slack. The game looks kind of muddy but it still looks a lot better than alot of games these days such as The Saboteur and there's never any frame rate slowdowns or any bullshit like that. The HD port looks pretty much the same as the Wii version except it brings back the laser sight which makes it alot better since you can't just shoot all over the place and it cleans up some of the textures a bit so as not to make your eyes disintegrate. It still looks kind of shitty at some parts but it's definitely bearable and the gameplay still kicks fucking ass regardless.
Ok usually I would rip on a story like this but the reason I don't is because even though the story is really fucking cheesy the game actually acknowledges this and doesn't take itself too seriously. It's actually quite enjoyable and the dialogue is fucking hilarious. Some of Leon's lines are awesome. Though the story is cheesy it does keep you involved and the cutscenes are short and get to the point. Eitherway, the gameplay kicks ass.
Overall this game kicks fucking ass and is 10x better than Half Life 1/2. Those games were fucking good but not as good as Suislide made them out to be. Then again Suislide sucks Valve's cocks in all of his reviews.
My score is
Just don't buy the PC version, get this version or the Wii version instead.