Painkiller: Hell and Damnation
Date: Tuesday, November 20 @ 21:44:34 EST
Topic: FPS reviews
HOLY FUCKING FART DICKS, what the fuck is with all the terrible rip offs coming out lately? First it was Doom 3: BFG which was nothing more than a shittier looking version of Doom 3 re-released because Id Software is running out of cash after the bomb that was Rage. Now someone came out with a remake of Painkiller in HD, and I was thinking...holy shit awesome! I love Painkiller and would love to play the game again except with better graphics. Except this is a fucking lie. Read on and I will explain how this game is nothing but a pile of donkey farts being re-released so that someone can make a quick buck off of idiots who don't read my site.
So I knew something was wrong with this shitpile as soon as the tutorial started. All the sudden I'm hit in the face with a super low FOV and I'm thinking...uh-oh this is a bad sign, but luckily I found a fix so it wasn't a major issue for long. Bam, all the sudden the first REAL level of painkiller starts and there we about to kick some ass and I noticed they gave me an extra weapon, that converts enemies to fight on your side, or blows them apart. Some extra stuff I thought, pretty cool and that is when the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. All the fucking sudden different enemies start spawning. I see stupid generic looking skeletons jumping out of the graves instead of the normal enemies
So I beat the fuck fucking level and it was mostly the same overall except the AI For the boss at the end of the level is BROKEN. He literally DOES NOTHING except for stand around, amazing fucking work on the remake you faggots. Then it starts the next level and I'm like wait a second, this isn't the 2nd level in painkiller it's the 3rd. So then you beat that level and it takes you back to the 2nd level in painkiller. They screwed up the fucking order, and the levels. All the sudden the rooms in the ACTUAL 2nd level are all super small and fucking pointless. So I keep playing then all the sudden I'm on the fucking boss. THEY SKIPPED HALF THE FUCKING LEVELS IN THE GAME. THEY LITERALLY ARE NOT THERE. I checked and found that they remade only 14 of the levels from Painkiller and the expansion pack. Guess what assholes? Don't release a remake unless you REMAKE THE FUCKING GAME.
Seriously, what a bunch of fucking cunts. It's like they never fucking finished what they were doing so they just released whatever they had for a quickbuck. The graphics are barely improved to the point where you won't even realize you are playing a different game. Remember going from Serious Sam to Serious Sam HD? Now that was a fucking HUGE difference to where you were blown away by the graphics. This is not the case here, in most aspects it's a minor fucking upgrade, and the simple fact that it missing over half the content from the original game means that the developers can suck my smegma covered dick. Eat shit you money grubbing faggots. AVOID THIS TURD.