Kingdoms of Amalur: The Reckoning
Date: Wednesday, February 15 @ 21:11:24 EST
Topic: RPG Reviews

I was pretty pumped for this game looking from the previews. I was thinking to myself, OH GEE GOLLY, a fucking action RPG with a somewhat unique leveling system in a new world created by someone! Imagine my fucking disappointment once I sunk into this turd canoe and floated down the river of shit. I should have expected nothing less from the failure that is Electronic Arts, but I still held my hopes high and what I got was the most generic by the numbers, easy ass Action RPG. You should keep reading for my insanely witty and highly informative reviews because unlike the rest of the websites that rated this game, I was NOT PAID OFF by EA like everyone else.

Now lets start with the graphics in this game which don't look too bad but have major consolization going on with them. The art style feels like it was pretty much jacked from World of Warcraft but looks a lot nicer than it obviously because it is a bit newer, and uses a much better scales for buildings such as castles. However, half the fucking game feels like I'm going through Elwynn Forest, Westfall, and Duskwood. Hell, the part that looks like Duskwood even has green spiders that pop into it. Really original guys. Moving along. The graphics in this game do have a nice look to them and the game runs buttery smooth because it isn't very taxing. The character animations are all over the top and somewhat goofy which kind of adds to the charm of the game BUT OH MY GOD THE FUCKING POP IN THE IN GAME IS AWFUL. Hundreds of objects will literally just be fucking popping in because the LOD is super low in the game, most likely because of consoles. Abunch of people have been complaining about this on the forums but they say the game is hardcoded like that. Nice job you fucking idiots. Beyond that the art-style feels like WoW and the graphics look pretty nice but the constant pop-in problems completely ruin it all.

Another major problem you will notice right away, somewhat related to the graphics, is that the FOV and camera angle in this game are fucking HORRID. Now I thought Low FOV was only an issue in first person shooters due to the lack of peripheral and the extra peripheral you get in 3rd person BUT HOLY BUTT FUCKING CHRIST you cannot see SHIT IN this game. The only way to get any sort of view of the environment is to jam the camera into the fucking ground in which case half of the fucking scenery is blocked by your character. The camera controls like super fart shit too, it is either too sensitive and lose or not sensitive enough. Look faggots. If you are going to release a shit fucking console-port of a game for PC, don't even fucking bother. I would rather have nothing at all than the shitty ass sloppy fucking seconds of your lazy ass development. What a slap in the face.

The gameplay and setting in this game just scream GENERIC. Literally, every enemy and fantasy-esque thing is just straight up Tolkien/D&D that we have seen a million times before. Weren't they claiming a unique land to explore? It's the same damn Ettercaps, Dire Spiders, and other bullshit I've fought five hundred million times before. Think of some new shit. The gameplay in this game is woefully generic to with the combat consisting basically of CLICKING THE LEFT MOUSE BUTTON. That is all you need to do and it will just hack away at your enemies until you win. There are spells and shit you can assign to your bar to cast special moves because all you really need to do is just left click a whole lot. The combat is pretty fucking clunky too, it just doesn't feel tight like in games like Darksiders or The Witcher 2. The dodging is useful half the fucking time and you can block ALL incoming attacks just by pulling out your shield, even if it is a piece of shit. Seriously, the combat is just generic bullshit across the board and the setting, UGH, it is even more generic.

So the levelling up system lets you assign points into whatever skill tree you want. GUESS WHAT THEY ARE? Fighter, Mage, Thief. HOLY SHIT GUYS. You put so much fucking effort into that! It must have taken you weeks to think of these three super fucking unique never-before-heard-of classes in a video game. The dumbest part is you can switch your "fate cards" which give different bonuses based upon if you become a Fighter/Mage but really it doesn't even fucking matter because it just gives you some stupid extra fighting bonuses. The game also has a skill tree for crafting shit or persuasion but I found the persuasion tree to be absolute-fucking-lutely pointless. You might as well not even bother.

So how about the OPEN WORLD they claimed? It's a lie. The game consists of large areas connected by stupid ass narrow tunnels. For some reason, the whole game just feels like a giant corridor and even the dungeons are just linear bullshit that you walkthrough until the end. The combat is so boring too that it just DOES NOT keep my interest for more than an hour. The game is just so utterly boring in every single way. The side quests in the game are all fucking lame fetch quests for the most part and are relatively uninteresting and don't even give you great rewards. You are better off spending time doing the main quest or the faction quest lines because they are the only thing worth a damn.

So how about the story? It is supposed to be super awesome because it is written by RA Salvatore!? WOW! Too bad, it is generic bullcrap that no one is even going to remember. I mean the game just starts off with piss poor writing basically going "OMG YOU HAVE AMNESIA, BTW YOU DIED AND CAME BACK TO LIFE" and for some reason you are the only character who can set his own fate, so it allows you to fight these fate creatures. It is INCREDIBLY uninteresting and super generic, it just feels like they stole little bits from a bunch of different games and thought that putting them together would make it more interesting. Point is, the game is straight up mediocre in almost every aspect. It isn't really terrible, nothing is really bad or shoddy about it, but nothing will strike you as even remotely interesting and thus making you want to pursue the game further. I guess if you have no life and want to blow some time, this might be worth isn't.


This article comes from Video Games Suck

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