Driver: San Francisco
Date: Wednesday, October 12 @ 18:46:59 EDT
Topic: Racing Game Reviews
Ubisoft once against releases another pile of shit game. My question is, why the hell did they ressurect the Driver franchise? No one gave a fuck about it 7 years ago when Driver 3 came out, so what makes them think bringing it back would do any better? The stupidity and retardation of Ubisoft is both pitiful and laughable at this point. They really only have one franchise that is keeping their shit company alive which is Assassin's Creed. However, they are in the process of milking that game to death and will eventually kill off that franchise as well. Driver San Fran is a shitty racing game with one of the dumbest fucking stories you have ever heard. Oh, and this is another title with Ubisofts crapola ALWAYS ONLINE DRM.
As I was saying, this game has literally one of the DUMBEST fucking stories ever known to man. Someone must have put Nitros gas in the air conditioning units at their headquarters which is the only explanation for them writing this absolutely appalling story. Anyways, you start as a cop who is chasing some shitty criminal through the city who did something that is against the law. I don't remember what it was but it doesn't really matter because it is just a McGuffin. So moving along, eventually you chase this faggot to an ally (he is driving an armored car). ALL THE SUDDEN HE FUCKING MAGICALLY APPEARS BEHIND YOU and is chasing you with the armored car. You are in a fucking sports car and you are telling me that his 40 ton armored truck is going to catch up with that shit? Yeah fucking right.
So he pushes you out into traffic and BAM, you get fucking smashed by a semi-truck. Now for some magical reason which remains unexplained throughout the game, you can transmit your consciousness to any car around you and take control of the person driving. I'm not even fucking kidding, the story is literally that stupid. So you float around the fucking city like a bird looking for a car to posses trying to stop this Jericho guy, who for some other stupid fucking reason, can take control of cars as well. THIS SHIT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
So this stupid fucking story CONTINUES ON further than this shit. It turns out when you wake up, this faggot plants a fake gas bomb, which you drive through and then ram the bad guy into the ocean (the same guy who escaped before and went to jail). This is literally the worst fucking plot in a video game ever. I am pretty sure Quake 1 has a better story and no one even knows what the fuck the story is in that game. Whoever wrote this garbage should probably kill themselves. Having your name on this turd should kill anyones career.
Now that is just the story, the gameplay is stale bullshit. Basically you just drive around and solve stupid missions based on racing. Racing games are fucking boring, and the vehicles in this game all control and feel exactly the fucking same. There is literally nothing to note within the gameplay section except that the game is literally just generic racing with absolutely nothing new, special or innovative about it. You can do sidequests by MINDFUCKING into other cars but they are largely pointless.
Another pointless part of this fucking game is for NO REASON AT ALL, sections of the city are unaccessable so you have to get to a certain point before you can drive everywhere and it is fucking annoying. There was ZERO reason to block off part of the city. This game is a nail in the coffin for Ubisoft.