Date: Tuesday, June 14 @ 10:04:32 EDT
Topic: Action Game Reviews
Excuse me Splash Damage? I paid you $50 for a game, not a lazy unfinished buggy laggy faggot pile of dog shit you stupid faggots.
You guessed it folks, SD managed to reach a level of faggot so far unimaginable. They tricked all of their fans into thinking that they were actually developing a game when in actuality they were wasting years just sitting on cocks.
Somehow they've managed to turn a really good idea of a single-multiplayer hybrid team based fps and made it into a laughable piece of shit. Achieving a level of faggot never thought possible.
Here's why everyone at splash damage deserves aids.
This is a team objective based game similar to Battlefield and Team Fortress, except those are actually games, in which the developer decided to finish. There are side objectives which don't matter, main objectives which are incredibly dull besides escorting a tank. You'll be running through corridors and climbing arbitrary terrain that was only put there because of the SMART system. The SMART system is a button you hold that allows you to navigate via "parkour" through the map, they apparently spent a long time developing it but it's basically just climbing animations on ledges.
When you're a medic, you'll see a downed teammate and try to throw them a revive syringe then all the sudden FUCK YOU you're buffing a different teammate. WHAT IS THIS FAGGOTRY!?!? you ask. You have to hold a key in order to lock onto a teammate and buff or revive them, rendering your camera uncontrollable. Good luck trying to buff, give ammo, or revive the correct teamate when there are others around, as your camera will be fucking waving all over the place. Best part about this amateur programming is you sprint to your teammate that you are buffing. So often times you'll accidentally run out into enemy fire an die.
Most of the game you'll die instantly, and you'll never know why. You'll ask yourself, why does it take me a clip to kill someone, but it takes a bullet to kill me. Mind you headshots are nerfed in this game and grenades don't kill you instantly. This could be the mega faggot lag this game loves to include, or it could be that the bots have aimbot enabled, or more likely, THE ENEMIES WILL BE INVISIBLE! That's right, when you play this game enemies will go invisible at least once. The sound will cut out too. One would think that these are issues game testers would catch.
All of which are issues that are incredibly common, it wont be unusual for someone to say: "invisible enemies, quitting" or "sounds out, restarting." I guess these faggots decided not to test this game out, why that would require competent developers. When they patched the game a few weeks after it was released, it fixed none of these issues and now your text is garbled! ATI users can't even play the game it's so horribly optimized, which is inexcusable because the graphics in this game are a laugh riot.
The AI varies, they will either be godlike aimbots (the enemy team) or be as retarded as the developers (which is pretty fucking retarded) Most of the time the bots on your team will ignore the objectives and ignore you when you're downed and waiting to get revived or need a health buff. I know what you're thinking, this is an online game the bots are secondary. FUCKING NOPE! This game is such a pile of faggot that no one is even playing it anymore. A month after launch and the game is already dead, get ready to play solo.
Not to mention you can't connect to or host private matches, servers constantly shutting down, and even when you DO get into a player versus match, everyone is fucking spawn camping anyway. So it's either so easy it's boring, or so frustrating it's boring.
There are four classes: Medics, Soldiers, Engineers, and Operatives. Operatives are useless except for very certain circumstances. All of the classes have unique objectives, but it doesn't matter because the objectives are boring escort, hacking, or planting the bomb missions. (This game apparently had a writer)
There are 3 body types, Heavy, Medium, and Light. There is no reason for the heavy to be in the game he dies just as quickly as a light body type and the guns he can use are worthless, inaccurate, and ineffective.
You can unlock weapons through challenges which are ludicrously easy at earlier levels and impossible at higher levels. Either way you'll unlock all of the weapons immediately. They thought "how can we take the fun of unlocking weapons through leveling in games like battlefield and call of duty and make it horrible and boring, eureka! WE'RE FAGGOTS! WE CAN DO ANYTHING."
The guns are based on real guns that look and feel pretty okay, but most of the weapons are useless and you wont touch them.
You're only leveling to unlock abilities which don't make the game any more fun.
All in all the core gameplay is one big pile of dog diahrea, and hopefully one day, if there is a god, the people over at Splash Damage will get super aids.
It uses the doom 3 engine and is a fucking joke. The textures were taken from a cell phone camera.
The sound in this game is actually really good. They are sharp crisp sounds, the voice acting is superb but unfortunately the story is so boring and incoherent that even the good voice acting can't hold it together. The guns have a proper umph and crispness to them, one of the things that brink did right.
Story: Worthless. In fact they fucking designed the environment around this giant tower that is visible from every map in the game, and it's in the fucking icon yet it's also the only map you never see. Imagine half life 2 but never going to the citadel. They are including it in the DLC so it shows that they didn't finish this game.
-4/10 (Only finished games deserve a score above zero)
Unfinished, buggy, miserable mess.
I give this game a
Don't buy it but hope Splash Damage gets aids/10
Fuck you Splash Damage, please go the way of Flagship and never make games again.