Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2
Date: Tuesday, January 25 @ 23:14:20 EST
Topic: Action Game Reviews
They should rename this game the turd unleashed 2 because they released another awful game in this awful series. What the hell happened to the Jedi Knight series which had way better stories, dialog, force powers and combat. Instead, we get this consolized hack and slash turd fest that causes you go to through linear levels hacking away at the same stupid storm troopers for ten hours. Talk about boring. Anyways, here is my review for Star Wars Force Unleashed II, aka, one of the worst games in the Star Wars franchies next to Galaxies and Force Unleashed I.
Of course the absolute best part of this game is the graphics which actually look fairly impressive. Everything is rendered on a very large scale with good looking textures, smooth animations, someone good looking character models and a smattering of post processing effects to make the game look spiffy. So, basically the game is fairly nice to look at and that might be enough to keep you playing, but anyone who actually enjoys video games, this will only last for about an hour. Moving beyond that, there is literally nothing else good about this game unless you enjoy pressing the same fucking mouse button a thousand times until your mouse breaks into a billion fucking pieces.
Basically the game starts out right where the first one left off and you are some stupid clone of some stupid Jedi that no one really gives a fuck about. Vader tries to make his personal man-jedi-sex slave because he obviously is gay for the jedi dick. Or maybe it was something about having you kill people for him, I'm not really sure because the story absolutely bored the fuck out of me. Your character wants to be a normal Jedi or something really uninteresting but the only thing you notice about him is what a whiny bitch he sounds like. He whines the whole fucking game about escaping and sounds like he is about to cry anytime anything happens. If I wanted to play a fucking whiny bitch then I would go play Deus Ex 2. Beyond this the story goes absolutely nowhere, eventually you fight some bosses and then the credits roll and you wonder what the fuck in your life happened that made you purchase this atrocity.
So beyond the whiny bitch voice acting, there is a couple of lines of dialog from a few other characters who are also as equally uninteresting in the story line. Whoever wrote this dialog must have hoping that no one would be paying attention to figure out what a shitty writer he is. I hope he gets fired and possibly stabbed in the face for helping to develop such a turd of a game.
So the only thing left about this game is the gameplay itself and all you get is a lame ass hack and slash for 10 hours. So for some fucking reason, forget everything you saw in the movies and everywhere else, for some reason this Jedi is the single most powerful person who ever fucking lived. For some bullshit reason he can pull X-wings out of the sky mid flight and crush them into a ball of metal, rip open 12 foot thick steel doors and fall down a cliff for 20 minutes, land and be fine. For absolutely no reason at all this Jedi is stupidly and obscenely powerful which doesn't even fit the Star Wars universe except in that it might provide for funner gameplay. Except that it fucking does, you just run around hack and slashing with your stupid dual backwards lightsabers, hitting the same storm troopers and complete the same Quick Time Events to blow up a fucking robot. You literally just fight the same exact enemies throughout the whole game, and they all react exactly the same as well. Boss Fights are absolutely lame and consist solely of you just jumping around like a retard and then using your force powers at the right time. In essence, the game play is your standard fare hack and slash bullshit with some stupid force powers.
Kyle Katarn wasn't stupidly powerful and that game was about twenty times funner than this game ever will be. Learn to make video games Lucas. 5/10