Dead Rising 2
Date: Monday, October 11 @ 16:56:42 EDT
Topic: Action Game Reviews

Now I love Left 4 Dead and it's zombie slaughtering mayhem so when I saw this game, I expected more zombie slaughtering fun. Nothing like double chainsaws, guns, and pretty much every object you can pick up to beat the shit out of zombies. LITTLE DID I KNOW, this was shitty game developed by Capcom and thus is consolized Japanese SHIT. This has to be the only game were zombie killing put me into a coma where I had constant nightmares of playing this shit heap game. Seriously, how is this game getting good reviews? It is honestly awful.

Of course this is a sequel and usually they improve upon things from the first game. Now I was no fan of that turd either but usually when they make a second game they make everything better. Instead they made it fucking worse and fucking shittier. The first thing you will notice when playing this game is that the controls feel TERRIBLE. They are extremely loose feeling, clunky, and sometimes awkward to control. When you are running around hitting zombies it feels so slow and loose and you feel like it is a struggle just to hit them with a big faggy guitar. You notice this when you start our driving a shitty motorcycle with chainsaws on it, running over zombies. It was fucking boring as hell, sounds like an excellent concept but was excecuted like shit. There is no oomph or feeling of impact when killing the zombies, you just clip right through and some blood flies out. Now I was suspecting that this was just the beginning, WRONG. The whole fucking game feels like that, killing the zombies feels clunky and loose and boring. Now that this is a problem from the first five seconds, you already know the rest of the game is shit.

The next problem with this zombie turd is that you can only finish or start missions within a certain time period. WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT OF THAT? They should be locked in a small room until they starve to death. The first bullshit you notice this in is when you have to getting some shitty Zombrex for your stupid whore daughter. I got it, and get back but it says I have to wait until 7AM to give it to her. So what the fuck do I do now? Just walk around the fucking mall hitting zombies with poor controls? Yeah, that is it. That is all you fucking do. Seriously, Killing the zombies in this game is lame as shit and when you combine it with the fact that you can only do missions at a certain time, the shit stank envelops your soul. OH HO HO, Lest we forget the save system in this diarrhea burger. You can only save in bathrooms which are located in completely random areas of the map. What the fuck happened to quick save and slave slots? First thing, why the fuck the bathroom? When he takes a big runny shit it somehow creates a checkpoint in his life? What the fuck is reasoning behind going to the bathroom to save?

Ok so you have crappy mission times, poor savings, terrible controls and boring zombie combat. The weapons break so fucking easy, you hit like three zombies with a bat and then it explodes in your hand instantly. Of course, when you level your shitty douche bag looking character up, everything works better. That is another thing, the characters look like generic shit. Capcom is the fucking king at making undetailed generic American looking characters. I mean look at every fucking game they have made it just has some generic white dude with other generic American people (sometimes Japanese) around them.

The next big problem with this game is the fucking mall itself. It is big, which is nice, full of weapons, also nice. So what could the problem be you may ask? The whole fucking mall looks like identicle cookie cutter shit! You can never find where the fuck you are going by memory (like you can in GTA4 which has a much bigger fucking map) because everything looks like the same generic shit. So you will constantly staring at your mini-map trying to figure out where the hell you are supposed to go. Even the first game had unique areas where you can tell where the hell you were going. So beyond that you fight normal zombies, sometimes big zombies, and eventually you question why you bought this consolized turd. Seriously, you can tell as soon as the game boots up that this shit heap was made for consoles. It plays awful, feels awful, looks completely generic.

Oh, I almost fucking forgot the horrid voice acting in this game. To go with their generic white character design they also tied them together with generic white voice acting and dialog. The game takes itself way too fucking seriously to be about zombie killing with dual chainsaws. They try to add in all this drama about shit with his daughter to put some emotion into it but it falls fucking flat like the rest of this game.

This game made zombie killing boring. Not an easy task 5/10

This article comes from Video Games Suck

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