Bioshock: Minerva's Den
Date: Saturday, September 25 @ 00:07:36 EDT
Topic: [XBOX 360] Action Game Reviews

This game kicks ass!

It's such an embarrassment that I got more hours out of a Bioshock add on than I did out of Modern Warfare! Around 6 hours, and that's on the easy setting.

I can not stress how kick ass this game is. They have new plasmids like this gravity plasmid that does a time-space warp and starts spinning ppl around. And you can also place it like a proximity mine. They got the pacing right too, so instead of upgrading your weapons, which the game is a little too short for, you pick up upgraded weapons every once in a while.

They have an ingenious way of letting you choose whether you want to deal with hordes of splicers when you harvest, so you have a tonic which lets your little sisters harvest twice as much adam, but it takes twice as long. And there is an ass ton of cash so you can purchase traps and set up an ambush and watch the fuckers go flying.

The graphics are still the same, but they have better environments. Everything looks like the old ass ENIAC, and they make references to famous ppl like Alan Turing and Winston Churchil in your story. They have some new opponents, like a laser bot, an electro bot, and one of those houdini splicers, but the ice-chill version of that.

Spoiler! So the story has you as a new Alpha called Sigma, and you have to get to the computer core to print it out so you can take it to the surface. Tanenbaum wants to use it to reverse the effects of Adam. Porter, this other black dude, wants to use it to resurect his wife (or some shit). Anyway, the story pushes the action forward by telling you where to go and why, and for the most part it works well. Then you get to the end and you realize from audio recordings that Ryan's men were looking for Porter, and that they probably got him, which makes you wonder who you've been talking to all this time. Turns out, you were talking to the computer the whole time, and to add a twist to a twist, you ARE Porter, captured and turned into Sigma. You and grandma Tanenbaum have sweet sweet Big Daddy on aging Nazi sex all the way to the surface in a Bathosphere.

My only complaint is the texture pop in. You go into a new room and you can literally count the five intervals it takes to load.

I can't believe the people involved with Bioshock have been able to make such great games over and over again. You don't have to love Bioshock, but you'd have to be an idiot to not realize that Bioshock 1,2 and this one are better than garbage like Modern Warfare or Kane and Lynch.

This article comes from Video Games Suck

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