Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing (2003)
Date: Thursday, August 19 @ 23:13:51 EDT
Topic: Racing Game Reviews
I'm pretty sure all of you have heard of this "game", and this "game" (Yes, the faggot Ukranian bums that shit this turd call it a video game) is the single worst puddle of gorilla semen ever known to the gaming world. EVER. Read this review to witness the bad side of the PC.
First things first: when you have such a dull title, you know you have a game that will suck a big black cock. Second, the box says "you will be carrying illegal packages while being chased by police" (or some shit like that), so it may seem fun. But before I even spent a hard earned $3 on this video game (Yes, $2.99 at my local store), I heard about how shitty it was, with a GameRankings average score of 4% (really, REALLY???).
Now for the game. Wait... you call this a VIDEO GAME? THIS SEEMS LIKE SOME GAME OFF OF ONE OF THOSE STUPID ASS WEBSITES PEOPLE PLAY WHEN THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO! Oh... so... you start off in this simple start menu, with no music, sound effects, or other elements of a good game. In the Options menu, all of the qualities are set to "low", because they assume all computers can't load for a fucking shit-on nickle (maybe their computers suck balls, but not the USA's...), so I set all of my quality to "high" because my computer is bad ass.
Gameplay, Graphics, Sound, and Controls:
I decided to put all of these together because, you know, it's all the same. Graphical Quality- pre-1999, Sound- None, Controls- Almost None. This is just a shitty piece of fucked up garbage dumped straight from the garbage truck. OK, so the "race" starts out (You have a choosing of 4 trucks and 5 tracks *whoopdy fucking doo*), you and your AI opponent (who is also a truck) appear to race, right? WRONG! In this game, the Ukranian developers didn't care to do many important things, like add solidity to the scenery (yes, you can drive right through buildings), like you are like some phased vehicle. Also, nothing slows you down! You can go up and down a fucking mountain without losing any speed, and here's the best part, they didn't put a speed cap on reverse! You can literally drive in reverse at 190 billion MPH, and it has been done, just search on Youtube. They also didn't bother to put the timers all the way in their designated boxes, and you can go out of the map into an endless gray void (they also forgot to make a boundary). You can see under the map, it lags, scenery pops up, and there is just no objective. When you win a race (It is impossible to lose), the so-fucking-familiar-reminisce "YOU'RE WINNER" trophy pops up. Wow, when I first put this in disc, I really thought I wasted my 3 bucks. If anyone thinks this game deserves anything above a 1/10, then, "YOU'RE FAGGOT".
Story: None. No objective. Like me watching Pay Per View movies on a Sunday afternoon.
Conclusion: If you want to fake a sickness, hesitate no fucking more, I present... BIG RIGS: OVER THE ROAD RACING! The only possible enjoyment from this flaming pile of horse shit is watching how fucking horrible it is. Please, spend 3 dollars on some new condoms, not this broken game.
Final Rating: -1/10