Bioshock 2
Date: Friday, February 19 @ 23:54:21 EST
Topic: FPS reviews

Let's get one thing straight...Bioshock didn't need a fucking sequel but every developer now just wants to keep making sequel after sequel to pump more money out of people. So with the first Bioshock we got some great art design with the retro 1960s look, mixed with light elements of RPG, great story, interesting dialog and many other redeeming qualities which makes it a game that I find memorable and quite enjoyable. Well they seemed to have fucked all that up in this game which makes my dick hurt. The game is pretty much exactly the same in almost all respects and doesn't offer enough innovation, while they botch certain parts. It's still a good experience overall but they should really call this game Bioshock 1.5.

Graphics: First thing first here....honestly...the graphics in this game are absolute shit. The first game didn't have stellar graphics on a technical level either but the art design saved the game heavily. Here the art design is similar but no were near as extravagent as it once was, so it takes a notch down. But seriously, three fucking years later you think they could make some textures that don't look like a blob of diarrhea on my screen. Seriously, it looks like Tomb Raider 1 without 3D acceleration on some of the textures. Also, there are barely any new assets and they didn't update any of them. Same vending machine models/textures, same enemy textures, same big daddies, same little sisters, same items. The Houdini Splicers are updated and new looking but for fuck sakes...THREE FUCKING YEARS LATER...make some new fucking models and update the graphics. The new weapon models don't look half bad, especially the drill but again the horrible textures on these weapons make the game look awful. Now, not all of the graphics look like my diarrhea after a week of taco bell. There are some parts with the water and lighting that look pretty damn good. Such as a room that is partially submerged and there is only one light source in the room glowing off the water. There is also some decent level design in places such as in the Persephone, and a couple of levels where there is a small town inside of it. Also, the underwater sequences look pretty nice as well. The animations are still top notch from the enemies but the game still has that fucking 15FPS physics thing going on. The Big Sisters also have a good model to them and good animation as well as the new Splicer Grunts. However, on the whole scale the game basically looks like the same which is fucking bad because the first one came out three years ago.

Sound: The sound in this game is all over the place. First of all, the musical score in this game is fucking top notch. The writing for the music builds atmosphere and it cues in at the right moments of emotion or beating some fucking ass. The voice acting is also really well done and the dialog is pretty well written as well. These help save the game heavily but the problem is the vocal recordings are NO WHERE near as interesting as before. There was a billion excellent quotes from the first game but absolutely nothing memorable from this shit-sandwich. There are some interesting ones especially with Frank and Andrew but being that they were much more interesting characters hurts the dialog but overall it is well voice acting. The weapon sounds in this game, on the other hand, are fucking pitiful. The shotgun sounds like a weak fart from an old lady and none of the guns have any power to them. Pick up the fucking sound a notch. At least the enemies are still creepy, yelling weird ass things that for some reason make me want to masturbate. Overall, the sound is definitely better than most games.

Gameplay: I dont even need to write for this part because the gameplay is EXACTLY the same. The weapons, while they look different...perform exactly the same. The mini gun is literally identical to the machine gun from the first game. Now the new drill is fucking sweet, drilling through people and the drill dash is the best fucking move in the game. Also there is a new hacking dart gun which also shoots turrets. But the same film camera, same shotgun, machine gun, rivet gun is just like the pistol, rocket launcher is the same. Which is quite disappointing as you think the weapons a Big Daddy would use would be totally fucking different but they were simply too lazy to update this shit. One vast improvement though is the ability to use plasmids and weapons at the same time...which allows you to kick a ton more ass than before. Also, the big daddy can equip a shit ton more tonics than Jack Ryan which allows you to customize your style of play a bit. I choose everything that lets me destroy and hack faster. Speaking of the hacking, this new fucking game is lame as balls, bring back the old pipe system. This new hack system has a needle move back and forth and you have to press it at the right times...BORING. It's gets tedious and boring considering you will do it a million fucking times.

The gameplay besides that is mostly the same as you run around the levels, picking up cash, buying from vending machines, shooting stuff, and upgrading your weapons and plasmids with ADAM. You will be surprised how weak the big daddy is which can at least be explained by the fact that it's an old ass model but still, a couple of pistol shots will take your bitch ass out at the beginning of the game. You can still adopt or harvest the sisters. However this time to collect more ADAM, you have to let them harvest a body while you guard them. This is ok at the beginning of the game but it get's fucking tedious as my fucking balls. I also got so much ADAM that I didn't even use like 400 of it by the end of the game. The gameplay is still fun and it is definitely more action packed as there are usually more enemies attacking. It definitely still has some fun to it but it is still basically the same as the first game with some improvements.

Story The story is you are an old ass Big Daddy which your daughter brought you to life because her mom is a fucking bitch. So then to go around and save yourself you have to go around and get to Eleanor Lamb and slap her fucking teeth out. You meet all sorts of characters along the way such as Sinclair, Tenebaum who is in the game for five seconds, and your daughter. The story is allright, not the best, but definitely better than passable and some of the history through the tapes makes it more interesting. The problem is lamb, is no were near as interesting as Andrew Ryan and Frank Fontaine were which hurts the game. There is also a couple of different endings based on the actions you take...I got the good ending which was pretty good. Your daughter takes your conscience. HA SPOILED IT AGAIN. Why the fuck do people even read it!?

On a side note, a big fuck you to remedy who decided to put in the same widescreen fuck up as they did with the first game. Luckily, I refused to play this cunt hole without a patch which they delivered quickly enough but then the FOV sucks dick. I hate this console 75degree looks awful and you miss out on the the fucking environment because it feels like I'm looking through a tunnel.

The game has its moments but it's BioShock 1.5 6.5/10

This article comes from Video Games Suck

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