The Chronicles of Riddick - Assault on Dark Athena
Date: Wednesday, May 06 @ 23:32:49 EDT
Topic: FPS reviews


You wanna make some money of older games? Sell them again with slightly better graphics. Oh and also include some half assed sequel to not look like a complete asshole, just a partial one.

The Chronicles of Riddick - Assault on Dark Athena

It seems the developers KNEW they couldn't possibly top themselves so they remade it with better graphics and added a crap sequel. Is there anyone who can't play the first now because of the visuals? I'd understand remaking something from 98 or something but this is just overkill. And that's all they changed. It's like a dick slap to the face saying "well fuck you, play the game again 'cause we say so.".

How could they shit out a sequel that seems like it was made in a week by emo monkeys (emo because of all the dark and monkeys because...fuck you, that's why). The first had it all, story, visuals, good combination of combat and sneaking around like a fag.

Graphics: Dark Athena should be called Dark Corridors(I made a play on words there because I'm clever like that) because all your time will be spent in either a black corridor or gray corridor. And on some rare occasions black AND gray at the same time. The game has no graphics really, the few shit you see are crates. Everywhere on the whole fucking ship there are crates. I bet they're full of Vin Petrol's ego, that's why so many. The only good thing is you can punch walls and leave blood on them. So if you hate Vin Gas you can make the fucker pay.

Sound: It's so bad and pathetic I actually started enjoying the bleeding I got in my ears. With lines like "The dead... should stay dead." and "most just flail around in the blackness searching for their destiny. The darkness, for me, is where I shine.", they probably assumed people don't play with sound and subtitles so they just went nuts with the lamest shit they could come up with.

Gameplay: This is 99% of the game: Enter a corridor, stay in the dark until you feel like you had enough sneaking bullshit and actually want to ADVANCE the game and go into combat. There are small variations like driving a mech or crawling through an air vent instead of a corridor, the originality of it make my head explode. And thanks to low health, high enemy accuracy and an auto save that works whenever the fuck it feels like it you'll be spending a lot of time restarting and crying like a bitch. It's the same fucking mechanic from the first yet they fucked it up so neither sneaking neither the combat are fun. Did I mention I hate auto save? I hate it, seriously, I do.

Story: So this ugly bounty hunter chick steals a ship in which Vin Gas and some fag are and he sneaks around trying to kill the chick. Because she pissed him off and he's motherfucking Vin Steam Powered.
Eventually he escapes to a planet where something must happen but I sure as fuck won't see it because I'm tired of of sneaking around and Vin Shithead(i ran outta ideas). I assume he kicks ass and talks about darkness. Oh and he also let a small girl to die on a space ship because...he's motherfucking Vin Diesel, that's what he does.

Bottom line: Try it only for the Butcher's Bay if you didn't play it when it first came out. I'd give that 7/10
Dark Athena campaign should be avoided like the plague. 2/10





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