Wanted: Weapons of Fate
Date: Tuesday, April 14 @ 22:12:47 EDT
Topic: Action Game Reviews

What a fucking awful fucking game. This game is anything but Wanted. It is another boring ass generic fucking shooter with a lame ass cover system, lame combat, and lame everything else. Who the hell keeps making these games? And why the fuck does everything have a shit ton of bloom on it? I played this game for awhile and then thought it sucked so I stopped to play other games. But then I repicked it up and forgot all the controls but guess what! All the controls aren't even listed in the fucking control options so I could never figure out how to bend my stupid shitty bullets again! I pressed every fucking key on the keyboard and nothing. This game is gayer than 10 guys fucking 12 guys. Here we go....

Graphics: Ok the graphics in this game may seem OK at first but then you just eventually realize how bad this fucking game really looks. First complaint, the fucking cut scenes. I never fucking get why the hell some developers do this. They fucking use the in-game engine to create a pre-recorded cut scene and it looks like SHIT. Seriously, you think if it was pre-rendered they would fucking turn up the anti-aliasing and make it look nice. Instead, the recorded cut scenes look like complete blurry shit with a ton of jaggies. Infact, they look worse than the fucking game. I got around to skipping all of them because it looked worse than actually using the in-game engine to render it! Next compaint, BLOOM. Why the fuck did the developers of this game put a shit ton of bloom on everything. Seriously, no matter where you look this a big fucking shiny bright ball washing out the colors on everything. I am actually fucking blind right now and typing this in brail. Third, tiny ass levels. Each level is literally like three rooms big and they are all fucking boxy. It is completely linear and you run through some stupid boxy rooms and then another stupid as loading scene! Seriously, you cant' fucking play for more than 3 minutes at a time without finishing something. Not to mention the variety of levels is crap from city streets and buildings, to city streets and buildings in europe, all the way to some gay lame basements. And before you ask, all the textures fucking suck, its for a console which has shit for memory so they have to use abunch of blurry low res textures on everything to make up for it. Seriously, the faces of the queer main character and everyone else look like dog shit. The models are all bland and crappy, and you see the same stupid enemies THE WHOLE GAME.

Sound: GOD DAMMIT THE VOICE ACTING SUCKS ONCE AGAIN. I'm going to shove razor blades in my ears if I have to hear this shit fucking voice acting again. The main character isn't the guy from the movie and he sounds like a major fucking homosexual. Seriously he says shit like "All this jumping around and not a cape in sight!" HAHA THATS FUCKING FUNNY. Oh wait, no its not..its so fucking lame that it makes me want to smash my testicles with a hammer. There are other characters in the game who talk but none of them are even worthy enough to be mentioned. The enemies shout dumb shit like, "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT COCKSUCKER?" Except they do it repeatable and so many times that you think your game is fucking frozen. The music sucks ass too.

Gameplay: The gameplay in this game is so generic. You can basically copy and paste from any other game that has a stupid generic cover system and no jumping. So in this game you run around with some guns and can shoot at people behind cover! WOW! You can also run to different cover to confuse your enemies! WOW! Too bad this has been done a million times before and doesn't help the fact that the AI sucks cock. Seriously, they just fucking stand there and do nothing. You are supposed to flank them using the cover system but you don't need to because the AI is fucking garbage. The gun combat is seriously lame feeling too with the guns having absolutely no power to them at all and there seems to be ammo littered everything. Of course they have this gimmick like in the movie where you can bend your stupid bullets around corner. Basically in this game you just hold a button down and it will shoot it around someone with some crappy animation. YAWN. Wake me up when a game doesn't fucking suck this bad. Guess I'll be in a coma for awhile at this rate. That is pretty much all you do the whole game. Sometimes you get a turret and shoot people! WOW! CREATIVE, the same shit we have all seen a million times before.

Story: The story is something like the fraternity from France is attacking you because you are a faggot. The story blows and it goes absolutely no where. They come after you because your gay father died and wasn't supposed to have you because he was in this fraternity of faggots, so then you kill them all and stop them. That is all that happens, absolutey nothing interesting.

Sucks, suck, sucks, sucks, sucks, 4/10

This article comes from Video Games Suck

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