NecroVision
Date: Thursday, April 09 @ 00:42:43 EDT
Topic: FPS reviews


Holy fuck does this game suck...has anyone ever heard of playtesting? Here I was all excited because I expected a painkiller clone, it looks like it, it sounded like it...and then I played it. This game is like having your dick smashed with a cinderblock, its literally that bad. It seems the guys who made it decided not to do a single bit of play testing because it is the clunkiest, shittiest game that has come out in 2009. The funny thing is a developer will never come out and admit that their game sucks dick. So here it is, the mother of all turds...NecroVision.

Graphics: Again the graphics are the best part of the game and everything goes downhill from there. Surely these developers just don't spend all the fucking time on the graphics and just leave everything for second...it fucking seems like it. So this game has pretty decent graphics, good artstyle, but note the just DECENT graphics. They got the fucking art style down great which is great which is mutated styled world war 1 soldiers, generals and other fantasy creatures. You run through trenches, bunkers, and factories and some other various locations which is enough variety, but for some reason all the environments look exactly the same. I mean they got the atmosphere of WWI down pretty well, but the environments are all just fucking dark and brown...I love turd colored walls in my games. The models for the enemies are decent looking and varied and the weapons look pretty good as well. The only problem is that's where it ends. The rest of the game is just running through small areas fighting these enemies. The graphics are pretty decent but nothing too great, they should have worked on getting better design in the levels because it fucking sucks.


Sound: Holy fucking hell, I thought there was bad voice acting in Wheelman and many other games but this takes it to a new level. It was literally so bad I had to turn off my computer, walk outside and reflect on my life. Then I tried listening to it again and I got fucking sick and barfed out my organs. I'm typing this as I'm dying. The voice acting is literally fucking horrendous and the dialog does not help. When you kill enemies, your guy shouts things like "I AM THE CHAMPION OF LIGHT!" and "I WILL CLEANSE YOUR EVIL"...it's so fucking bad...What kind of gay shit is that? Since when am I fucking holy priest fighting these people in World War I? The whole game the main character sounds like a dumb fucking hick like "GEE GOLLY BOYS WHERE AM I?" The WHOLE fucking game he just makes these dumb ass comments and its fucking terrible. Who wrote this and why the fuck hasn't someone puked down their throat? Oh btw, the music and the rest of the audio sucks ass too. All the sound effects are crap in this game and it doesn't help that enemies make retarded sounds as well. There is no redeming features here.


Gameplay: So this game is supposed to be a painkiller clone, which means big ridiculous weapons, boss battles, and large numbers of enemies on screen at once. Well they tried to do that and failed worse than Steve Irwin at not dying. So there is all sorts of weapons from machine guns, dual machine guns, pistols, bolt-action rifles and shit. The problem is they ALL Fucking suck and there is never enough ammo for them. You will run around fighting tons of lame enemies because the AI in this game sucks because the enemies do nothing but stand there. Might be cool if they did it right but they fucking didn't. Anyways there ain't shit for ammo this whole fucking game and its terrible. How the hell am I supposed to shoot the shit out of people if I have nothing to shoot them with? Maybe the horrible fucking dialog will make them commit suicide. Seriously the bolt-action rifle is weak as fuck and clunky as shit, the shotgun is ok but you always have like 2 shells. There is just never enough ammo. You get magical powers as well for some stupid ass reason which can slow time and shit like that. Too bad there isn't a power for uninstall....oh wait there is! The gameplay just feels so fucking clunky and uncomfortable its hard to describe unless you play it. It just feels awful. The boss battles suck ass too by the way. So here you are fighting bosses in the 2nd level of this crappy game, and the boss sucks cock and you have no ammo to shoot him. The whole game is just a solid piece of shit.


Story: Some gay shit happened where you are a hillbilly in World War I and all the sudden you get magical powers for no reason. Story sucks the tip of my dick.

This game is the reason for World War I 1/10





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