Date: Tuesday, April 07 @ 02:04:20 EDT
Topic: FPS reviews

Ok so it seems that the Russians have gone from trying to compete with the United States military wise and instead went into gaming. Sadly, sometimes they are half bad at it (The Witcher for example). And FUCK, they made a half decent game again with Cryostatis...I am supposed to slam video games but these tricky fucking Russians are screwing me over. Anyways, this is Cryostatis, a game that takes place upboard a ship stuck in the middle of a giant fucking block of ice. And oddly enough, its not the best game ever, but it has some pretty decent things about it.

Graphics: For some fucking reasons the graphics are all over the place in this game. I guess I will start with the good stuff, the fucking ice and the physics with it. Because I am not poor white trash, I own a GTX280 so this game ran like fucking butter, and the PhysX stuff is pretty damn cool. The game deals a lot with the hot and cold, so a lot of the rooms are frozen because its the North Pole. Anyways, when you heat up the rooms, the ice starts melting and you can see the water drip down the walls, icicles fall, and stuff like that which looks pretty damn good. There are also some decent pixel shader effects with the thermal imaging bullshit when you are hacking into someone's brain. Most of the models are pretty decent and are fairly enough designed, also the giant fucking Kronos at the end looks pretty fucking sweet. So there are so pretty decent look parts in this game from the cold, snow effects as well, but then the other half of the graphics are fucking sheep tits. The first major problem that ANYONE who plays this game will notice is the environments. The game takes place aboard a ship, so the environments are more repetitive than my shitty ass reviews (Just kidding, my reviews rock and you fucking suck). They do vary a little bit obviously for different parts of the ship, but it still feels like you are travelling through a ton of bulkheads until you start getting to the top parts of the ship. The other problem with the graphics is that they fucking re-use some of the models to the point where its like...hey wait..thats BULLCRAP. There is one scene where it flahses to black and white and time is still. You see the same screaming guy in two parts of the hallway, and stuff like that stands out. The enemies are pretty damn well designed being bioshockish/transformed members of the ship. Anyways, the graphics are decent for the most part but the environments are just so fucking repetitive.

Sound: The sound is this game is decent enough. Of course all the Russians have their typical Russian communist accent, the english dubs aren't too bad but they are nothing special because all the Russians sound exactly the same. This maybe a problem with Russians themselves but who gives a shit, they need a tad more variation. The Weapon sounds are allright, nothing special. The sound of the wind howling is all good. The enemies actually have pretty creepy as sounds to go along with them which is cool. Other than that the sound is pretty damn average.

Gameplay: Ok so many people may complain about the pacing, but fuck them all because it was actually pretty decent. The game is definitley slower as you have like no stamina or strength in the beginning but as you go on it gets a lot higher. So the game is meant to be a slow paced creepy ass game and it does a decent job at it. A lot of times you will walking down frozen hallways, narrow corridors, wondering if flipping this switch will send a creepy axe mother fucking coming at you, or the blowtorch guy, or the guy with a caged room for a face. And it is pretty decent at keeping you on your toes. However, the game does get repetitive as you flip and press the same buttons and do shit over and over again. The gunplay in this game is a little fucking sketchy at times as your guns always feel inaccurate. However, you start the game with your fucking mits punching the crap out of these guys, until you get an axe and split their skulls. The enemies range from some blow torch mother fucker, various russian guys with guns, a super muntant thing with huge machine guns, and a creepy legged mother fucker. They each provide their own challenge. The problem is just the gun play in this game feels like utter shit. There are still some pretty damn cool things about this game though. When you mind warp or whatever, you go inside someone's brain and replay the events that got them killed and you have to figure out what to do to save their life and change the shit in front of you. This happens quite a few times and helps to tell the story and keeps the game abit fresh from the other puzzles. They do get a bit fucking frustrating sometimes which will make you teabag your computer. Anyways, the game was pretty fun as the pacing was good and the mind stuff added some decent puzzle solving in between. Just if the guns didn't feel like you were trying to aim a cinderblock at a fly.

Story: The story is pretty good actually. You end up on this ship and things are just fucked up, and as you go through the ship you see the story about how the captain was betrayed and killed, how the ship got fucked up, and the events that all lead up to all this evil shit happening. Finally, at the end, you change one even which ends up saving your life. SUPRISE MOTHER FUCKERS I SPOILED IT AGAIN. That's right, you are actually dead the whole time and Kronos helps you go through the events of the ship to change everything, until you finally save the captain who ends up saving your life at the start. It was a pretty decent story and was told pretty cool. There is also some old lady babbling about some random shit that happens as well but fuck it, don't listen to that because it was shitty and didn't really matter.

This game has some problems but wasn't that bad7/10

This article comes from Video Games Suck

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