Mercenaries 2: World in Flames
Date: Monday, September 22 @ 22:14:33 EDT
Topic: Action Game Reviews

So apparently this is a sequel to a game called Mercenaries? Who the fuck ever played that? I've never even heard of the first so it only goes to show you, this game is going to be absolutely fantastic. This game is basically just a grand theft auto clone, except with all the good parts taken out.

Graphics: Ok first of all, the graphics in this game are PUKE. As soon as this game started I just fucking puked all over everything. It seriously looks HORRID. Now, I have a GTX 280, and this game which looks like its for playstation 2, somehow runs like it was on a fucking playstation 2. It doesn't make any sense, how does a game that looks like crap, run like crap too? Easy, SHITTY FUCKING DEVELOPERS. Hell, this game doesn't even have proper resolution support for basic widescreen resolutions. I can't use 1680x1050 but for some reason 1600x900 is the highest resolution. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? Anyways, as for the graphics themselves, AWFUL. Everything has this huge stupid blurred filter over the whole game and it just makes it look like crap. Then there is about 10 different vehicle models the whole game. Honestly, you will see the same three cars in all the areas of the game..BORING. The models for the humans are all the same too which occasionally some various ones. The worst part of this game is the GOD AWFUL animations. Everytime you steal a vehicle, such as a tank, it plays the same fucking animation 300 BILLION TIMES, where you have to press the same buttons every time too. The graphics in this game are pretty much just all around awful.

Sound: Once again this game proves itself to be completely awful. All the sound for the voices sound like 11khz files recorded with a mic up my asshole. Honestly, any time the main character talks it just sounds like shit in two ones. One, the sound file itself is dogshit...two, so is the dialog. GOD DAMN, who wrote this shit? WHO? Why is this guy not being hanged? The dialog in this game is so fucking shitastic it makes you want to puke. Not only that, you get to hear it 300 fucking million times because they play over and over. "TELL SOLANO TO SEND MORE TROOPS" Shut the fuck up! Solano is a faggot. "WOO BUMPER CARS" Are you fucking kidding me? Bumper cars? It plays every fucking time I hit a car and its SUPER irritating. Didn't anyone put any thought into this shit? Oh yeah remember all those sweet radio stations and music in GTA? WELL ITS NOT IN THIS! Thats ride! Enjoy driving your car in silence because this game sucks the big black cock. All the sounds in this game are just shit.

Gameplay: Oh man, I want to stab myself in the face with a turd just thinking about describing this game. Well basically its a GTA clone, and a bad one at that. So you are in a big stupid city in venezuela, and you do missions and gain rep with factions. So the driving is one of the main parts..well its HORRID. All the controls have delayed inputs so it never fucking feels right when you are driving. All the cars are weak as shit too, a few bumps into the curb and all the sudden your car will explode. But dont worry! If it does explode your character just gets knocked out and loses, I kid you not, 3 fucking health. I had 97 health after surviving an explosion from a fucking car!

So then all the missions are the same shit, you go somewhere, shoot some people, go back and get another mission. Thats it. Well you can also collect fuel, and buy vehicles and stuff to have them air dropped to you, or have an air strike. Except its all AWFUL and USELESS. Each mission recommends you have this shit, well you don't need it. I just walked in on foot and wrecked everyone's shit. This game is a sandbox of fucking boring.

Story: The story in this game is absolutely phenomenal. You do a mission for Solano, and then he shoots you in the ass, so you want vengeance. THATS IT. Thats all the whole fucking game is about. The only thing he shot in your ass was a cumload because the main character is a faggot. There is absolutely nothing good about this game. NOTHING.

I actually went to a dock and a boat was floating in the air and spinning around. I actually have a screenshot of it 1/10

This article comes from Video Games Suck

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