Terrorist Takedown 2
Date: Friday, July 25 @ 15:47:27 EDT
Topic: FPS reviews

So remember the first Terrorist Takedown? Neither do I! No one fucking does because it was probably either a complete pile of shit or it never existed. Well unfortunately some company has decided that there isn't enough suffering in the world and has unleashed this shitstorm of awful upon the world. So here it is, Terrorist Takedown 2 which basically looks and plays worse than a user made mod!

Graphics: The first thing you will notice that when you start playing this game is that it looks fucking awful. Every level looks like complete and absolute puke as its basically just smeared with a series of brown and gray boxes. There's no detail in any of the levels and the environments are all exactly the same. You travel from some arab village, to some random caves, to some more ugly ass caves, to another village. ITS FUCKING AWFUL. Each level is completely linear as well. There's no other path that you can take through this pile of shit except for the lame ass path that they have set out for you. Of course, all the other passages are blocked off by shitty look objects such as tables and chairs which are apparently completely indestructible! What the hell happened to having some sort of physics for objects? Well they through that idea right out of the window! All the levels are just gray and brown boxes that you have to suffer through. The best part is there is no background being rendered or anything. The skybox looks like absolute dogshit as well. Seriously, at one point in a level I jumped above the level and there is NO background being rendered at all, and in fact, the area I just came from wasn't even being rendered! I just saw to the bottom of the skybox. Oh yeah, another great part of this game is when I shot a guy on the roof and HIS BLOOD FUCKING SPLATTERED ON THE SKYBOX. I shot this fucking guy so hard his blood flew out and actually HIT the sky. Thats amazing isn't it? The enemies basically have two different looks, arab with a turban or arab without a turban. Overall, this game looks worse than a user made mod for fear. Its a tragedy that they are charging for this piece of shit.

Sound: First of all, why the fuck does the main character sound like a dirty hillbilly? Who the hell hires a hillbilly for a voice actor. All the dialog is terrible by the way. Theres about one other voice actor for all the other characters and the dialog has about three sentences. The worst part is having to listen to this dirty fucking hillbilly talk the whole god damn game. Theres no music even worth mentioning and all the weapon sound effects are just pathetically lame. Oh yeah the enemies for some reason can speak English when they are yelling at you. They have a total of three phrases of which they can fucking yell at you in perfect english thats amazing!

Gameplay: The gameplay is this game fucking sucks. Theres like a total of five weapons in the game which pretty much all act the same except for the firing speed. So you take these shitty weapons and go through linear boring levels which are in Iraq or some place like it, and shoot all the enemies. Thats all you do the entire game. There is ten levels of this dog shit and its all EXACTLY THE SAME. The AI is completley retarded, they just stand there while you fire and SOMETIMES they might hide behind cover, but don't worry they wont for long so they can be hit by your barrage of bullets. Your team-mate AI also fucking sucks, you know how I know? Because they are with you for about 5 minutes of the game and just stand there and do nothing. Obviously the developers realized they can't program for shit and made it so some STUPID even happens and OH NOES! YOU ARE CUT OFF FROM YOUR TEAM! But don't worry you are fucking going in alone! So this game has a total of ten levels and guess how long it took me to beat this game? I started playing it at 10:30am, at 12 I grabbed some lunch and then finished it at 1pm. ITS FUCKING 2 HOURS LONG. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVER RELEASE A GAME THAT IS 2 HOURS LONG? This is a piece of shit mod that should have never been released.

Story: I didn't even realize there was a story because the cinematics, if you want to call them that, are so fucking boring I skipped past them. Basically some arab has some stupid ass hostages and you want to free them. Then some other fucking rogue marine guy wants to help but you shoot all of his men for some reason. Its totally fucking stupid. This game sucks the hugest cock in existence.


This article comes from Video Games Suck

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