Conflict: Denied Ops
Date: Saturday, February 23 @ 15:22:32 EST
Topic: FPS reviews


Eidos, of course, realizes another amazing fucking pile of shit. The piles of shit released by Eidos aren't just your normal shit-stained games but instead they take the word AWFUL to a whole new level. Here in Conflict: Denied Ops, you can realize just how big of a fucking piece of shit Eidos is by releasing such a shitty fucking game. I rather stick my dick in the garbage disposal than play this game.

Graphics: So the first thing you will notice about the graphics, is that you think they might be half-decent at first, but then you realize they are fucking awful. The shadows on everything look fucking hideous and just give this weird ass look to the game. Not to mention, all the textures in the game are blurry low-res piles of garbage. In the day and age of Crysis, a guy with a gray beard that is bump-mapped and blurry as hell isn't going to fucking cut it. All the textures in this game are just shit, boring and bland. Infact, because of that the environments are just shit, boring and bland as well. You travel to areas like random village, some snowy areas, some caves, some boring ass castles that are completley devoid of anything cool looking. Every level looks like complete shit basically. All the levels have random doors that go absolutely no where. Possibly some bullshit attempt to hide the fact that this game is more linear than a landing strip. So the graphics in this game are basically just big donkey ass.


Sound: Here is a surprise. Both the dialog and voice acting are complete fucking shit. The voice acting consists of your generic black dude for the black guy, and some generic white guy for the white guy. Fucking surprise. Of course, they bicker like a pack of bitches like it is supposed to be some Black Cop White Cop movie. Of course, the black guy always has phrases like "Yo Dawg, This is a generic statement referring to my blackness and my black culture" The two moan like bitches the whole game and its fucking irritating. They all have one-liners and then they are all god damn awful. Then your commander HQ guy, is the generic hillbilly mother fucker who gives you stupid orders all the time. All the gunshots are tinny sounding and weak as well, oh yeah and the music sucks too. It sucks so bad you won't even notice it half the time because its shit.


Gameplay: Ok so its the black dude, white dude duo that team up to fight some terrorists or whatever. Well the gameplay is fucking stale. It's more stale than your mother's pussy. The staleness of this game is palpable, you can taste the moist ass in your mouth playing this game. So its a squad based system, and by squad based they mean just tell the other guy where to go. Or you can just tell the other teammate to follow you. It is better to go with the follow one because telling any orders fucking sucks and then your team mate sits there and does NOTHING. You could be half-way across the map and they just fucking stand there looking brainless. Each of the two characters has their special gun ability. The white dude has a sniper that gets upgraded as you play through the game to have a shotgun and some other shit. The black dude has a m249 with a grenade launcher as well as a rocket launcher. Well guess what, the m249 fucking sucks. Don't ever use that pile of shit. Every single fucking level has these big open areas that you can easily snipe everyone with, but the m249 is the most inaccurate pile of dog shit ever. It is basically like the black guy is a quadriplegic with that gun. So you guy around these shitty maps, shooting guys than doing either one of two things. Using a computer, or planting a bomb. Thats it. Thats about as deep as this shit gameplay gets. Oh yeah and everytime you go to extract, SURPRISE, the fucking LZ gets attacked. EVERY SINGLE MAP. This game sucks. The AI is fucking awful too.


Story: So you are some white dude or a black dude and there is a story about some shit happening. You are special ops and stop it from happening. The story sucks big black cock.

GOD DAMN THIS IS BAD 1/10





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