Half-Life 2: Episode 2
Date: Thursday, October 11 @ 13:22:56 EDT
Topic: FPS reviews

HELL FUCKING YES! Episode 2 comes out and kicks even more ass than episode 1 did! It now has more story, ass-kicking, and better graphics and physics! Valve continues making the best damn FPS ever!

Graphics: So most people would think that because its using the Source engine still would like the same. Well hell no it doesn't! The updated the graphics in the game and now it looks even better than it did before! You have higher resolution textures all over the place. Improved models on some of the characters and improved textures on them. Such as the G-man who now looks fucking real. A whole new fucking particle system that improves the blood a whole punch and not to mention makes almost anything using particles a whole lot better looking. The green laser beam on the alien slaves no longer looks fucking retarded but rather smooth and good looking. The fire is no longer just a shitty sprite and is now done with particles and looks a fucking billion times better. Not to mention, Fatty McGabe put in WAY improved lighting for the whole entire game and now it has fucking soft shadows which look fucking great! I can now zoom in on alex's black/asain titties and jack off to some high resolution textures! Also the environments are now in the forest and hilly types areas with huge open outdoor environments which look fucking great. The trees look fucking amazing as well! The whole damn good looks improved big time and if you disagree then you are a cocksmoking faggot. The art direction is excellent as always and makes the game look just awesome. Oh then there is the physics which have improved fucking ten fold! Buildings collapse and fall apart in hundreds of pieces and bridges bend and collapse. They basically just fucking improved the graphics alot. The physics still aren't good enough for Alex's face to warp when i smash her in the head with my crowbar. So the game looks damn good.

Sound: The sound again is FUCKING GREAT. The voice acting is top notch once again the dialog is just as good. Infact I would say the dialog was even better because its more interesting and its actually funny. Eli makes comments about how he wants you to bone his daughter and gordon is so going to do it. Hes gonna get that pussy whether she likes or it not. He will stick his zero point gravy field manipulator inside of her. I've heard Gordon's dick is the size of a strider leg. Anyways the dialog and voice acting is top notch as always. They also updated the sounds for some of the weapons such as the pistol now has a better reloading sound. Then the music is all new and sounds fucking great. It plays right in the middle of while you are dominating some bitches and it makes you want to fucking kill a strider then ram it in the G-mans ass.

Gameplay: Holy dog shit they took an already great game and made it ten times better. So you travel through the forest to get to the main silo place at wherever and the whole way you kick ass. You get to partner up with the vortigaunts and slaughter some stupid ant-lion aliens who deserve it. Then you kick zombie as well as solving all sorts of new physics puzzles mixed in with the action. The puzzles are also way more interesting to figure out then previously such as the balancing of the bridge so you can fly the damn car over it. You also get to kick tons of combine ass in the various areas you go to. Such as the house scene where you get trapped in and the house is getting shot up and you have to kick tons of fucking ass. Not to mention, you eventually get a car that is way better than the dunebuggy piece of shit. This thing fucking flies and you can run over tons of people with it. Not to mention there is a new enemy called hunters which shoot these stupid spikes at you and then they explode. Not even they are a match for the car when i fucking floor them into a rock. The whole game just has tons of kick ass action sequences but none as good as the end. You drive around in your car shooter bombs at tons of striders as they lay waste to the buildings around you. It just fucking kicks ass. The action in this game is just so damn good it makes you wonder how good episode 3 will be.

Story: So the story is greatly advanced in this game with the Gman coming around telling you what to do. Eli has abunch of shit to say about whats happening and then you get to see abunch of the stupid alien blob advisors who come around. Basically the story is continued and its damn good and damn well improved. Also they make tons of references to what happened at Black Mesa and how it relates to this shit. Basically the story fucking rocks and they make it even better..I won't spoil it this time though because Im such a nice guy

Episode 2 fucking rocks your face 11/10

This article comes from Video Games Suck

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