Tomb Raider: Anniversary
Date: Wednesday, June 06 @ 12:18:48 EDT
Topic: Action Game Reviews


So they decided to remake the first Tomb Raider game because the idiots cant make a fucking decent one for the life of them. So by remaking the original they actually made a pretty decent game but thats only because the ideas and levels were all ready there...either way this game is pretty damn good.

Graphics: Well first off there is no next gen mode which makes the game run like complete ass no matter what hardware you have (tomb raider:legends). So they improved the graphics over the original so damn much that it makes me puke blood into my dick hole. They took the original games levels and idea and changed the graphics to match todays standards by using the latest tomb raider engine (who the fuck knows the name of it?). The graphics are pretty damn good with all the areas well-designed with plenty of additional detail . Most of the models for almost everything are pretty nice except the enemy character models which tended to be pretty damn blocky and could have been improved. For the most part all the environments are well done and defiantly varied enough to where you don't feel like you are running through the same damn areas over and over again. So the graphics are way fucking better than the original but for a modern day game they are pretty good. The only problems are sometimes Lara fucks up on the ledges of things and clips through which is annoying. Also when the damn camera clips through the edge of the level is annoying as hell...funny...I seem to remember the same damn shit happening in the original. You think in elven fucking years they could figure out how to solve the damn camera clipping. Though of course its not as bad as in the original but fuck you its still there. Anyways the graphics are pretty well done with varied environments that look good, well done models, nice textures etc.


Sound:The sound is pretty good I guess...the gunshots all sound good and have plenty of umph to them...The voice acting on the other characters are kind of shitting though but for the most part the dialog and speech is just fine. The music also fits the game quite well so there is no problems there. Basically the sound is just what you would expect nothing too special about it...nothing that really makes you shit your pants.


Gameplay: Now here is where the game kicks some serious. Since its based completley off the first game its first of all IN A FUCKING TOMB unlike most of the damn games in the series. And of course since its a remake of the first game it actually kicks ass. They added new shit in for it like the grappling hook to swing around and run along walls. The other new thing they added is when fighting enemies they go into rage mode and charge you...you can then do a lame slow motion dodge out of the way. Now this rage mode would be ok if every fucking enemy didn't do it every second fucking time you shoot them...it gets annoying. But anyways this game follows the first exactly with some updated puzzles for the physics and the grappling hook added in. But its fucking great as you run, swing, jump, swim, and do all sorts of shit all over these tombs. Now all the puzzles are defiantly well done because they require some thinking actually which is nice (fuck you consoles). Yet they arent too hard to where you want to take the keyboard and smash your grandmother in the face with it then run her over with a car. The puzzles are varied and decently challenging which is what makes this game so good unlike the rest of the damn games. You don't ever feel like you are doing the same shit twice as you jump on top of pillars, or do the fucking loop around a pull to jump on a ledge and then do some other near impossible shit to get some ammo. Now the combat is varied well with the puzzles as well so it doesn't feel a lame ass action shooter. Also the boss fights have all been updated to require you to use the damn rage bullet time dodge but now its more varied then just shooting the shit out of the enemy. Basically its the original tomb raider so of course its fucking good, the puzzles are good, the jumping and climbing is good, the combat is blended well and its fun to play which is the most part so fuck yeah.


Story: Ok well its the same story as the original game which goes like: Lara is smoking a dick because she is a complete whore when some guy talks to her about getting the Scion. Apparently Lara wants this Scion because she likes crap like that and there is three pieces of which you collect all of them. Then this other chick acts like a bitch because she wants to restore Atlantis army and so she masturbates with the scion to become sort of demon thing. There is some other shit and Lara wins in the end. The story is pretty good if you actually pay attention..but my version is better.

The first tomb raider rocked and thats why this one does as well 8.5/10





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