Prey
Date: Friday, July 21 @ 14:41:10 EDT
Topic: FPS reviews


A game 50 billion years in the making is finally released using the doom3 engine and it kicks some ass! The only problem though is its too damn short. We're talking shorter than amputee's legs.

Graphics: The graphics in this game kick ass and thats the end of it. Of course the game has the slight plasticy look to it as every game using the doom3 engine but it has its own style thats extremely different from both doom3 and quake 4. The models for the people are pretty well done which pretty much means you suck if you fuck up human characters now days. The only problem is their faces sometimes wouldnt follow you as you moved around so they basically looked like a schizo talking to no one. The enviornments are all done well going from some outside space shit to inside their stupid alien base to various other areas of the base that have other alien shit inside of them. The enviornments also have some variation to them so it doesnt get repetitive like doom 3. The weapon models all are well done with gooey alien shit all over them and actually have unique designs as none of them are human weapons. The wrench though kind of looked like a blob of ass. The enemies are pretty well done except their wasnt enough variation. At most theirs a total of like 8 different enemies and you think in like the 50 fucking years this game was in development they could have came up with a few more. Atleast they are pretty damn good looking from that flying demon thingy, the various soldier guys, the stupid dog things that run at you and the spiders with the boobies and the rockets. There is of course some low-res textures in places which is gay but overall the graphics are well done.


Sound: Finally some fucking stupid one-liners that everyone can enjoy! The guy you are actually isnt a pussy and will call other people a pussy! Finally a main charcter that one take someones shit. The voice acting overall isnt anything special but atleast it isnt a pile of acidy dog shit that burns through my ears. Theres only a handful of characters that actually have lines in the game but hey atleast they arent total shit. The script for the dialouge itself isn't anything special either... just the normal shit you would expect. The only thing that stood out was the main character not being a cum guzzling faggot and actually knows when to tell someone fuck you. The music wasn't anything special either except for in the bar in the beginning. You could listen to Judas Priest suck a dick with his terrible music or maybe turn on some Ted Nugent. The rest of it was even shittier than that.... you may wonder how the hell that is even possible.


Gameplay: Ok so the gameplay is fucking insane with actually decently innovative ideas. You of course walk around with guns and shoot the shit out of things because thats the basica premise of every FPS ever in existence. But for one thing they actaully attempted to incoorperate some decent puzzle solving in the game which is nice for a change. Its not just shooting the same shit handfull of bad guys then moving on to the next area. There is actually a small amount of thinking involved. So for one thing you can use your stupid Indian powers and go into a super gay thing called SPIRIT MODE! If the Indians had spirit mode in real life they wouldnt be all dead now would they? Anyways you use it to solve puzzles as you can use it to walk through shit like force fields or for some reason there is bridges made of sperm that you can travel across to get somewhere. Theres always a mark on the ground so if you cant figure out when to use it you clearly are a fucking retard. The puzzles arent really all that hard but can be quite interesting sometimes. Because of the crazy fucking portal which you can look right into another room and seemlessly walk right through and be in another place its fucking crazy. Not to mention the gravy changes constantly depending on which portal you go through, which pad you shoot or if you walking on one the gay gravity pad things. So then some guys tried to fuck with you while you are on the side of the wall and you then proceed to blow the living shit out of them as they fall off the ceiling. So you have to use the portals, gravity, and spirit mode shit to solve puzzles and then continue on to kill some shit. The guns are basically all the normal guns you get in FPS except with an alien look to them. The shotgun basically shoots a big shitsneeze of diarrhea at your foes. FEAR THE SHIT. The gameplay is pretty damn fun with the mix of action and puzzles. Except for the last boss was stupidly easy and not to mention this game is fucking short as hell.


Story: So you are some guy and sick of the shitty idian reservation you are on. Then some aliens come and abduct you and your women (you kill her near the end HAHA! spoiler mother fucking). Not to mention your shit head grandpa and his indian beliefs get abucted. About 5 minutes in the game grandpa gets his shit ruined. He gets fucked with a big metal pole and he dies. I helped by shooting him in the face a few times. So then you battle through the alien base and get spirit mode and shit from gramps and it was some shit like the aliens wanted your spirit power from the native american world. It was probably all a guy on a bad acid trip because thats all native americans do at their camps is complain about the government and do drugs that they buy with their government checks. Get a fucking job.

So yeah the game is pretty damn fun but too short 8.5/10





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